The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Act II, Scene 3
Verona. A street.
- Enter Launce, leading a dog.
Launce1 - 28
- Nay, ’twill be this hour ere I have done weeping; all the
- kind of the Launces have this very fault. I have receiv’d my
- proportion, like the prodigious son, and am going with Sir
- Proteus to the Imperial’s court. I think Crab my dog be the
- sourest-natur’d dog that lives: my mother weeping, my father
- wailing, my sister crying, our maid howling, our cat
- wringing her hands, and all our house in a great perplexity,
- yet did not this cruel-hearted cur shed one tear. He is a
- stone, a very pebble stone, and has no more pity in him than
- a dog. A Jew would have wept to have seen our parting; why,
- my grandam, having no eyes, look you, wept herself blind at
- my parting. Nay, I’ll show you the manner of it. This shoe
- is my father; no, this left shoe is my father; no, no, this
- left shoe is my mother; nay, that cannot be so neither; yes,
- it is so, it is so—it hath the worser sole. This shoe, with
- the hole in it, is my mother, and this my father—a vengeance
- on’t! There ’tis. Now, sir, this staff is my sister, for,
- look you, she is as white as a lily and as small as a wand.
- This hat is Nan, our maid. I am the dog—no, the dog is
- himself, and I am the dog—O! The dog is me, and I am myself;
- ay, so, so. Now come I to my father: “Father, your
- blessing.” Now should not the shoe speak a word for weeping;
- now should I kiss my father; well, he weeps on. Now come I
- to my mother. O that she could speak now like a wood woman!
- Well, I kiss her; why, there ’tis; here’s my mother’s breath
- up and down. Now come I to my sister; mark the moan she
- makes. Now the dog all this while sheds not a tear, nor
- speaks a word; but see how I lay the dust with my tears.
- Enter Panthino.
Panthino29 - 32
- Launce, away, away! Aboard! Thy master is shipp’d, and thou
- art to post after with oars. What’s the matter? Why weep’st
thou, man? Away, ass, you’ll lose the tide, if you tarry any
Jul 16, 2019 MikoShakespeare apparently didn't know that in the Mediterranean there are virtually no tides.
Launce33 - 34
- It is no matter if the tied were lost; for it is the
- unkindest tied that ever any man tied.
- What’s the unkindest tide?
- Why, he that’s tied here, Crab, my dog.
Panthino37 - 40
- Tut, man, I mean thou’lt lose the flood, and in losing the
- flood, lose thy voyage, and in losing thy voyage, lose thy
- master, and in losing thy master, lose thy service, and in
- losing thy service—Why dost thou stop my mouth?
- For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
- Where should I lose my tongue?
- In thy tale.
- In thy tail!
Launce45 - 48
- Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and the
- service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river were dry, I am
- able to fill it with my tears; if the wind were down, I
- could drive the boat with my sighs.
- Come; come away, man—I was sent to call thee.
- Sir—call me what thou dar’st.
- Wilt thou go?
- Well, I will go.