The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Act II, Scene 5
Milan. A street.
- Enter Speed and Launce, meeting.
- Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan.
Launce2 - 5
- Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I
- reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be
- hang’d, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot
- be paid and the hostess say “Welcome.”
Speed6 - 9
- Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you
- presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
- have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master
- part with Madam Julia?
Launce10 - 11
- Marry, after they clos’d in earnest, they parted very fairly
- in jest.
- But shall she marry him?
- How then? Shall he marry her?
- No, neither.
- What, are they broken?
- No, they are both as whole as a fish.
- Why then, how stands the matter with them?
Launce19 - 20
- Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well
- with her.
- What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.
Launce22 - 23
- What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff
- understands me.
- What thou say’st?
Launce25 - 26
- Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean, and my
- staff understands me.
- It stands under thee indeed.
- Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.
- But tell me true, will’t be a match?
Launce30 - 31
- Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if
- he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.
- The conclusion is then, that it will.
- Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.
Speed34 - 35
- ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say’st thou
- that my master is become a notable lover?
- I never knew him otherwise.
- Than how?
- A notable lubber—as thou reportest him to be.
- Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.
- Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.
- I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.
Launce42 - 44
- Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn himself in
- love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou
- art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.
Launce46 - 47
- Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to
- the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?
- At thy service.