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The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act 2, Scene 5

The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Act 2, Scene 5

Milan. A street.

  1. Enter Speed and Launce, meeting.

Speed

2
  1. Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan.

Launce

3 - 6
  1. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I
  2. reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be
  3. hang’d, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot
  4. be paid and the hostess say Welcome.”

Speed

7 - 10
  1. Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you
  2. presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
  3. have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master
  4. part with Madam Julia?

Launce

11 - 12
  1. Marry, after they clos’d in earnest, they parted very fairly
  2. in jest.

Speed

13
  1. But shall she marry him?

Launce

14
  1. No.

Speed

15
  1. How then? Shall he marry her?

Launce

16
  1. No, neither.

Speed

17
  1. What, are they broken?

Launce

18
  1. No, they are both as whole as a fish.

Speed

19
  1. Why then, how stands the matter with them?

Launce

20 - 21
  1. Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well
  2. with her.

Speed

22
  1. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

Launce

23 - 24
  1. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff
  2. understands me.

Speed

25
  1. What thou say’st?

Launce

26 - 27
  1. Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean, and my
  2. staff understands me.

Speed

28
  1. It stands under thee indeed.

Launce

29
  1. Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

Speed

30
  1. But tell me true, will’t be a match?

Launce

31 - 32
  1. Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if
  2. he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

Speed

33
  1. The conclusion is then, that it will.

Launce

34
  1. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

Speed

35 - 36
  1. ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say’st thou
  2. that my master is become a notable lover?

Launce

37
  1. I never knew him otherwise.

Speed

38
  1. Than how?

Launce

39
  1. A notable lubberas thou reportest him to be.

Speed

40
  1. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.

Launce

41
  1. Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.

Speed

42
  1. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Launce

43 - 45
  1. Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn himself in
  2. love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou
  3. art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

Speed

46
  1. Why?

Launce

47 - 48
  1. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to
  2. the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

Speed

49
  1. At thy service.
  1. Exeunt.
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