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The Two Gentlemen of Verona: Act II, Scene 5

The Two Gentlemen of Verona
Act II, Scene 5

Milan. A street.

  1. Enter Speed and Launce, meeting.

Speed

1
  1. Launce, by mine honesty, welcome to Milan.

Launce

2 - 5
  1. Forswear not thyself, sweet youth, for I am not welcome. I
  2. reckon this always, that a man is never undone till he be
  3. hang’d, nor never welcome to a place till some certain shot
  4. be paid and the hostess say Welcome.”

Speed

6 - 9
  1. Come on, you madcap, I’ll to the alehouse with you
  2. presently; where, for one shot of five pence, thou shalt
  3. have five thousand welcomes. But, sirrah, how did thy master
  4. part with Madam Julia?

Launce

10 - 11
  1. Marry, after they clos’d in earnest, they parted very fairly
  2. in jest.

Speed

12
  1. But shall she marry him?

Launce

13
  1. No.

Speed

14
  1. How then? Shall he marry her?

Launce

15
  1. No, neither.

Speed

16
  1. What, are they broken?

Launce

17
  1. No, they are both as whole as a fish.

Speed

18
  1. Why then, how stands the matter with them?

Launce

19 - 20
  1. Marry, thus: when it stands well with him, it stands well
  2. with her.

Speed

21
  1. What an ass art thou! I understand thee not.

Launce

22 - 23
  1. What a block art thou, that thou canst not! My staff
  2. understands me.

Speed

24
  1. What thou say’st?

Launce

25 - 26
  1. Ay, and what I do too. Look thee, I’ll but lean, and my
  2. staff understands me.

Speed

27
  1. It stands under thee indeed.

Launce

28
  1. Why, stand-under and under-stand is all one.

Speed

29
  1. But tell me true, will’t be a match?

Launce

30 - 31
  1. Ask my dog. If he say ay, it will; if he say no, it will; if
  2. he shake his tail and say nothing, it will.

Speed

32
  1. The conclusion is then, that it will.

Launce

33
  1. Thou shalt never get such a secret from me but by a parable.

Speed

34 - 35
  1. ’Tis well that I get it so. But, Launce, how say’st thou
  2. that my master is become a notable lover?

Launce

36
  1. I never knew him otherwise.

Speed

37
  1. Than how?

Launce

38
  1. A notable lubberas thou reportest him to be.

Speed

39
  1. Why, thou whoreson ass, thou mistak’st me.

Launce

40
  1. Why, fool, I meant not thee, I meant thy master.

Speed

41
  1. I tell thee, my master is become a hot lover.

Launce

42 - 44
  1. Why, I tell thee, I care not, though he burn himself in
  2. love. If thou wilt, go with me to the alehouse; if not, thou
  3. art an Hebrew, a Jew, and not worth the name of a Christian.

Speed

45
  1. Why?

Launce

46 - 47
  1. Because thou hast not so much charity in thee as to go to
  2. the ale with a Christian. Wilt thou go?

Speed

48
  1. At thy service.
  1. Exeunt.
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