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The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act III, Scene 1

The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act III, Scene 1

Scene 1

A field near Frogmore.

  1. Enter Evans, Simple.

Evans

1 - 3
  1. I pray you now, good Master Slender’s servingman, and friend
  2. Simple by your name, which way have you look’d for Master
  3. Caius, that calls himself Doctor of Physic?

Simple

4 - 5
  1. Marry, sir, the pittie-ward, the park-wardevery way; Old
  2. Windsor way, and every way but the town way.

Evans

6
  1. I most fehemently desire you you will also look that way.

Simple

7
  1. I will, sir.
  1. Exit.

Evans

8 - 22
  1. Jeshu pless my soul! How full of chollors I am and trempling
  2. of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceiv’d me. How
  3. melancholies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave’s
  4. costard when I have good opportunities for the ork. Pless my
  5. soul!
  6. Sings.
  7. To shallow rivers, to whose falls
  8. Melodious birds sings madrigals;
  9. There will we make our peds of roses,
  10. And a thousand fragrant posies.
  11. To shallow—”
  12. Mercy on me! I have a great dispositions to cry.
  13. Sings.
  14. Melodious birds sing madrigals
  15. When as I sat in Pabylon
  16. And a thousand vagram posies.
  17. To shallow, etc.”
  1. Enter Simple.

Simple

23
  1. Yonder he is coming, this way, Sir Hugh.

Evans

24 - 26
  1. He’s welcome.
  2. Sings.
  3. To shallow rivers, to whose falls—”
  4. Heaven prosper the right! What weapons is he?

Simple

27 - 28
  1. No weapons, sir. There comes my master, Master Shallow, and
  2. another gentlemanfrom Frogmore, over the stile, this way.

Evans

29
  1. Pray you give me my gown, or else keep it in your arms.
  1. Reads in a book.
  1. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender.

Shallow

30 - 32
  1. How now, Master Parson? Good morrow, good Sir Hugh. Keep a
  2. gamester from the dice, and a good student from his book,
  3. and it is wonderful.

Slender

33
  1. Aside.
  2. Ah, sweet Anne Page!

George

34
  1. God save you, good Sir Hugh!

Evans

35
  1. God pless you from his mercy sake, all of you!

Shallow

36 - 37
  1. What? The sword and the word? Do you study them both, Master
  2. Parson?

George

38 - 39
  1. And youthful still, in your doublet and hose, this raw
  2. rheumatic day?

Evans

40
  1. There is reasons and causes for it.

George

41
  1. We are come to you to do a good office, Master Parson.

Evans

42
  1. Fery well; what is it?

George

43 - 45
  1. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike having
  2. receiv’d wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own
  3. gravity and patience that ever you saw.

Shallow

46 - 48
  1. I have liv’d fourscore years and upward; I never heard a man
  2. of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own
  3. respect.

Evans

49
  1. What is he?

George

50 - 51
  1. I think you know him: Master Doctor Caius, the renown’d
  2. French physician.

Evans

52 - 53
  1. Got’s will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you
  2. would tell me of a mess of porridge.

George

54
  1. Why?

Evans

55 - 57
  1. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galenand he is a
  2. knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desires to be
  3. acquainted withal.

George

58
  1. I warrant you, he’s the man should fight with him.

Slender

59
  1. Aside.
  2. O sweet Anne Page!
  1. Enter Host, Caius, Rugby.

Shallow

60 - 61
  1. It appears so by his weapons. Keep them asunder; here comes
  2. Doctor Caius.
  1. Evans and Caius offer to fight.

George

62
  1. Nay, good Master Parson, keep in your weapon.

Shallow

63
  1. So do you, good Master Doctor.

Host

64 - 65
  1. Disarm them, and let them question. Let them keep their
  2. limbs whole and hack our English.

Caius

66 - 67
  1. I pray you let-a me speak a word with your ear. Vherefore
  2. vill you not meet-a me?

Evans

68
  1. Aside to Caius
  2. Pray you use your patience in good time.

Caius

69
  1. By gar, you are de coward, de Jack dog, John ape.

Evans

70 - 74
  1. Aside to Caius
  2. Pray you let us not be laughing-stocks to other men’s
  3. humors. I desire you in friendship, and I will one way or
  4. other make you amends.
  5. Aloud.
  6. I will knog your urinals about your knave’s cogscomb for
  7. missing your meetings and appointments.

Caius

75 - 76
  1. Diable! Jack Rugbymine host de Jarteerhave I not stay for
  2. him to kill him? Have I not, at de place I did appoint?

Evans

77 - 78
  1. As I am a Christians-soul, now look you; this is the place
  2. appointed. I’ll be judgment by mine host of the Garter.

Host

79 - 80
  1. Peace, I say, Gallia and Gaul, French and Welsh, soul-curer
  2. and body-curer!

Caius

81
  1. Ay, dat is very good, excellant.

Host

82 - 91
  1. Peace, I say! Hear mine host of the Garter. Am I politic? Am
  2. I subtle? Am I a Machiavel? Shall I lose my doctor? No, he
  3. gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose my
  4. parson? My priest? My Sir Hugh? No, he gives me the proverbs
  5. and the no-verbs. Give me thy hand, terrestial; so. Give me
  6. thy hand, celestial; so. Boys of art, I have deceiv’d you
  7. both; I have directed you to wrong places. Your hearts are
  8. mighty, your skins are whole, and let burnt sack be the
  9. issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lads of
  10. peace; follow, follow, follow.
  1. Exit.

Shallow

92
  1. Afore God, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow.

Slender

93
  1. Aside.
  2. O sweet Anne Page!
  1. Exeunt Shallow, Slender, and Page.

Caius

94
  1. Ha, do I perceive dat? Have you make-a de sot of us, ha, ha?

Evans

95 - 98
  1. This is well! He has made us his vlouting-stog. I desire you
  2. that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together
  3. to be revenge on this same scall, scurvy, cogging companion,
  4. the host of the Garter.

Caius

99 - 100
  1. By gar, with all my heart. He promise to bring me where is
  2. Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.

Evans

101
  1. Well, I will smite his noddles. Pray you follow.
  1. Exeunt.
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