The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act II, Scene 3
A field near Windsor.
- Enter Caius, Rugby.
- Jack Rugby!
- Vat is the clock, Jack?
- ’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis’d to meet.
Caius5 - 7
- By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray
- his Pible well, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is
- dead already, if he be come.
Rugby8 - 9
- He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he
Caius10 - 11
- By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take
- your rapier, Jack, I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
- Alas, sir, I cannot fence.
- Villainy, take your rapier.
- Forbear; here’s company.
- Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.
- God bless thee, bully-doctor!
- God save you, Master Doctor Caius!
- Now, good Master Doctor!
- Give you good morrow, sir.
- Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?
Host20 - 25
- To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse,
- to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass thy
- puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.
- Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,
- bully? What says my Aesculapius? My Galien? My heart of
- elder? Ha? Is he dead, bully-stale? Is he dead?
Caius26 - 27
- By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not
- show his face.
- Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!
Caius29 - 30
- I pray you bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two,
- tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shallow31 - 34
- He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls,
- and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go
- against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master
George35 - 36
- Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,
- though now a man of peace.
Shallow37 - 41
- Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace,
- if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though
- we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we
- have some salt of our youth in us, we are the sons of women,
- Master Page.
- ’Tis true, Master Shallow.
Shallow43 - 47
- It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am
- come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have
- show’d yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown
- himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me,
- Master Doctor.
- Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mock-water.
- Mock-vater? Vat is dat?
- Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valor, bully.
Caius51 - 52
- By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.
- Scurvy Jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.
- He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
- Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?
- That is, he will make thee amends.
Caius56 - 57
- By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar,
- me vill have it.
- And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.
- Me tank you for dat.
Host60 - 62
- And moreover, bully—but first, Master Guest, and Master
- Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to
- Aside to them.
- Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Host64 - 65
- He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will bring the
- doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?
- We will do it.
All Page, Shallow and Slender67
- Adieu, good Master Doctor.
- Exeunt all but the Host, Caius, and Rugby.
Caius68 - 69
- By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a
- jack-an-ape to Anne Page.
Host70 - 74
- Let him die; but first sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
- water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me through
- Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at
- a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried game?
- Said I well?
Caius75 - 77
- By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall
- procure-a you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords,
- de gentlemen, my patients.
Host78 - 79
- For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said
- I well?
- By gar, ’tis good; vell said.
- Let us wag then.
- Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.