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The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act II, Scene 3

The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act II, Scene 3

A field near Windsor.

  1. Enter Caius, Rugby.

Caius

1
  1. Jack Rugby!

Rugby

2
  1. Sir?

Caius

3
  1. Vat is the clock, Jack?

Rugby

4
  1. ’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis’d to meet.

Caius

5 - 7
  1. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray
  2. his Pible well, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is
  3. dead already, if he be come.

Rugby

8 - 9
  1. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he
  2. came.

Caius

10 - 11
  1. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take
  2. your rapier, Jack, I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

Rugby

12
  1. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.

Caius

13
  1. Villainy, take your rapier.

Rugby

14
  1. Forbear; here’s company.
  1. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.

Host

15
  1. God bless thee, bully-doctor!

Shallow

16
  1. God save you, Master Doctor Caius!

George

17
  1. Now, good Master Doctor!

Slender

18
  1. Give you good morrow, sir.

Caius

19
  1. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

Host

20 - 25
  1. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse,
  2. to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass thy
  3. puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.
  4. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,
  5. bully? What says my Aesculapius? My Galien? My heart of
  6. elder? Ha? Is he dead, bully-stale? Is he dead?

Caius

26 - 27
  1. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not
  2. show his face.

Host

28
  1. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!

Caius

29 - 30
  1. I pray you bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two,
  2. tree hours for him, and he is no come.

Shallow

31 - 34
  1. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls,
  2. and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go
  3. against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master
  4. Page?

George

35 - 36
  1. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,
  2. though now a man of peace.

Shallow

37 - 41
  1. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace,
  2. if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though
  3. we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we
  4. have some salt of our youth in us, we are the sons of women,
  5. Master Page.

George

42
  1. ’Tis true, Master Shallow.

Shallow

43 - 47
  1. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am
  2. come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have
  3. show’d yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown
  4. himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me,
  5. Master Doctor.

Host

48
  1. Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mock-water.

Caius

49
  1. Mock-vater? Vat is dat?

Host

50
  1. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valor, bully.

Caius

51 - 52
  1. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.
  2. Scurvy Jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host

53
  1. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

Caius

54
  1. Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?

Host

55
  1. That is, he will make thee amends.

Caius

56 - 57
  1. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar,
  2. me vill have it.

Host

58
  1. And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.

Caius

59
  1. Me tank you for dat.

Host

60 - 62
  1. And moreover, bullybut first, Master Guest, and Master
  2. Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to
  3. Frogmore.
  1. Aside to them.

George

63
  1. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host

64 - 65
  1. He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will bring the
  2. doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

Shallow

66
  1. We will do it.

All Page, Shallow and Slender

67
  1. Adieu, good Master Doctor.
  1. Exeunt all but the Host, Caius, and Rugby.

Caius

68 - 69
  1. By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a
  2. jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host

70 - 74
  1. Let him die; but first sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
  2. water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me through
  3. Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at
  4. a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried game?
  5. Said I well?

Caius

75 - 77
  1. By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall
  2. procure-a you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords,
  3. de gentlemen, my patients.

Host

78 - 79
  1. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said
  2. I well?

Caius

80
  1. By gar, ’tis good; vell said.

Host

81
  1. Let us wag then.

Caius

82
  1. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
  1. Exeunt.
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