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The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act 2, Scene 3

The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act 2, Scene 3

A field near Windsor.

  1. Enter Caius, Rugby.

Caius

2
  1. Jack Rugby!

Rugby

3
  1. Sir?

Caius

4
  1. Vat is the clock, Jack?

Rugby

5
  1. ’Tis past the hour, sir, that Sir Hugh promis’d to meet.

Caius

6 - 8
  1. By gar, he has save his soul, dat he is no come; he has pray
  2. his Pible well, dat he is no come. By gar, Jack Rugby, he is
  3. dead already, if he be come.

Rugby

9 - 10
  1. He is wise, sir; he knew your worship would kill him if he
  2. came.

Caius

11 - 12
  1. By gar, de herring is no dead so as I vill kill him. Take
  2. your rapier, Jack, I vill tell you how I vill kill him.

Rugby

13
  1. Alas, sir, I cannot fence.

Caius

14
  1. Villainy, take your rapier.

Rugby

15
  1. Forbear; here’s company.
  1. Enter Page, Shallow, Slender, Host.

Host

17
  1. God bless thee, bully-doctor!

Shallow

18
  1. God save you, Master Doctor Caius!

George

19
  1. Now, good Master Doctor!

Slender

20
  1. Give you good morrow, sir.

Caius

21
  1. Vat be all you, one, two, tree, four, come for?

Host

22 - 27
  1. To see thee fight, to see thee foin, to see thee traverse,
  2. to see thee here, to see thee there, to see thee pass thy
  3. puncto, thy stock, thy reverse, thy distance, thy montant.
  4. Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my Francisco? Ha,
  5. bully? What says my Aesculapius? My Galien? My heart of
  6. elder? Ha? Is he dead, bully-stale? Is he dead?

Caius

28 - 29
  1. By gar, he is de coward Jack priest of de vorld; he is not
  2. show his face.

Host

30
  1. Thou art a Castalion-King-Urinal! Hector of Greece, my boy!

Caius

31 - 32
  1. I pray you bear witness that me have stay six or seven, two,
  2. tree hours for him, and he is no come.

Shallow

33 - 36
  1. He is the wiser man, Master Doctor: he is a curer of souls,
  2. and you a curer of bodies. If you should fight, you go
  3. against the hair of your professions. Is it not true, Master
  4. Page?

George

37 - 38
  1. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter,
  2. though now a man of peace.

Shallow

39 - 43
  1. Bodykins, Master Page, though I now be old and of the peace,
  2. if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one. Though
  3. we are justices and doctors and churchmen, Master Page, we
  4. have some salt of our youth in us, we are the sons of women,
  5. Master Page.

George

44
  1. ’Tis true, Master Shallow.

Shallow

45 - 49
  1. It will be found so, Master Page. Master Doctor Caius, I am
  2. come to fetch you home. I am sworn of the peace. You have
  3. show’d yourself a wise physician, and Sir Hugh hath shown
  4. himself a wise and patient churchman. You must go with me,
  5. Master Doctor.

Host

50
  1. Pardon, guest-justice. A word, Mounseur Mock-water.

Caius

51
  1. Mock-vater? Vat is dat?

Host

52
  1. Mock-water, in our English tongue, is valor, bully.

Caius

53 - 54
  1. By gar, then I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman.
  2. Scurvy Jack-dog priest! By gar, me vill cut his ears.

Host

55
  1. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.

Caius

56
  1. Clapper-de-claw? Vat is dat?

Host

57
  1. That is, he will make thee amends.

Caius

58 - 59
  1. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me, for, by gar,
  2. me vill have it.

Host

60
  1. And I will provoke him to’t, or let him wag.

Caius

61
  1. Me tank you for dat.

Host

62 - 64
  1. And moreover, bullybut first, Master Guest, and Master
  2. Page, and eke Cavaleiro Slender, go you through the town to
  3. Frogmore.
  1. Aside to them.

George

66
  1. Sir Hugh is there, is he?

Host

67 - 68
  1. He is there. See what humor he is in; and I will bring the
  2. doctor about by the fields. Will it do well?

Shallow

69
  1. We will do it.

All Page, Shallow and Slender

70
  1. Adieu, good Master Doctor.
  1. Exeunt all but the Host, Caius, and Rugby.

Caius

72 - 73
  1. By gar, me vill kill de priest, for he speak for a
  2. jack-an-ape to Anne Page.

Host

74 - 78
  1. Let him die; but first sheathe thy impatience, throw cold
  2. water on thy choler. Go about the fields with me through
  3. Frogmore, I will bring thee where Mistress Anne Page is, at
  4. a farm-house a-feasting; and thou shalt woo her. Cried game?
  5. Said I well?

Caius

79 - 81
  1. By gar, me dank you vor dat. By gar, I love you; and I shall
  2. procure-a you de good guest: de earl, de knight, de lords,
  3. de gentlemen, my patients.

Host

82 - 83
  1. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page. Said
  2. I well?

Caius

84
  1. By gar, ’tis good; vell said.

Host

85
  1. Let us wag then.

Caius

86
  1. Come at my heels, Jack Rugby.
  1. Exeunt.
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