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The Merry Wives of Windsor: Act I, Scene 4

The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act I, Scene 4

A room in Dr. Caius’s house.

  1. Enter Mistress Quickly, Simple.

Mistress Quickly

1 - 5
  1. What, John Rugby!
  2. Enter John Rugby.
  3. I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my
  4. master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he do, i’ faith, and
  5. find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of
  6. God’s patience and the King’s English.

Rugby

6
  1. I’ll go watch.

Mistress Quickly

7 - 13
  1. Go, and we’ll have a posset for’t soon at night, in faith,
  2. at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.
  3. Exit Rugby.
  4. An honest, willing, kind fellow as ever servant shall come
  5. in house withal; and I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no
  6. breed-bate. His worst fault is, that he is given to prayer;
  7. he is something peevish that way; but nobody but has his
  8. faultbut let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?

Simple

14
  1. Ay, for fault of a better.

Mistress Quickly

15
  1. And Master Slender’s your master?

Simple

16
  1. Ay, forsooth.

Mistress Quickly

17 - 18
  1. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover’s
  2. paring-knife?

Simple

19 - 20
  1. No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey-face, with a little
  2. yellow beard, a Cain-color’d beard.

Mistress Quickly

21
  1. A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

Simple

22 - 23
  1. Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is
  2. between this and his head. He hath fought with a warrener.

Mistress Quickly

24 - 25
  1. How say you? O, I should remember him. Does he not hold up
  2. his head (as it were) and strut in his gait?

Simple

26
  1. Yes indeed does he.

Mistress Quickly

27 - 29
  1. Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master
  2. Parson Evans I will do what I can for your master. Anne is a
  3. good girl, and I wish
  1. Enter Rugby.

Rugby

30
  1. Out alas! Here comes my master.

Mistress Quickly

31 - 36
  1. We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into
  2. this closet. He will not stay long.
  3. Shuts Simple in the closet.
  4. What, John Rugby! John! What, John, I say! Go, John, go
  5. inquire for my master; I doubt he be not well, that he comes
  6. not home.
  7. Singing.
  8. And down, down, adown-a, etc.
  1. Enter Doctor Caius.

Caius

37 - 39
  1. Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you go and
  2. vetch me in my closet une boÎte en verd, a box, a green-a
  3. box. Do intend vat I speak? A green-a box.

Mistress Quickly

40 - 42
  1. Ay, forsooth, I’ll fetch it you.
  2. Aside.
  3. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young
  4. man, he would have been horn-mad.

Caius

43 - 44
  1. Fe, fe, fe, fe! Ma foi, il fait fort chaud. O, je m’en vois
  2. à la courla grande affaire.

Mistress Quickly

45
  1. Is it this, sir?

Caius

46 - 47
  1. Oui, mette le au mon pocket; dépêche, quickly. Vere is dat
  2. knave Rugby?

Mistress Quickly

48
  1. What, John Rugby! John!

Rugby

49
  1. Here, sir!

Caius

50 - 51
  1. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come, take-a
  2. your rapier, and come after my heel to the court.

Rugby

52
  1. ’Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

Caius

53 - 55
  1. By my trot, I tarry too long. ’Od’s me! Qu’ai-je oublié?
  2. Dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the
  3. varld I shall leave behind.

Mistress Quickly

56
  1. Ay me, he’ll find the young man there, and be mad!

Caius

57 - 58
  1. O diable, diable! Vat is in my closet? Villainy! Laroon!
  2. Pulling Simple out.
  3. Rugby, my rapier!

Mistress Quickly

59
  1. Good master, be content.

Caius

60
  1. Wherefore shall I be content-a?

Mistress Quickly

61
  1. The young man is an honest man.

Caius

62 - 63
  1. What shall de honest man do in my closet? Dere is no honest
  2. man dat shall come in my closet.

Mistress Quickly

64 - 65
  1. I beseech you be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he
  2. came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh.

Caius

66
  1. Vell?

Simple

67
  1. Ay, forsooth; to desire her to

Mistress Quickly

68
  1. Peace, I pray you.

Caius

69
  1. Peace-a your tongue.—Speak-a your tale.

Simple

70 - 72
  1. To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a
  2. good word to Mistress Anne Page for my master in the way of
  3. marriage.

Mistress Quickly

73 - 74
  1. This is all indeed la! But I’ll ne’er put my finger in the
  2. fire, and need not.

Caius

75 - 76
  1. Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baillez me some paper. Tarry you
  2. a little-a while.
  1. Writes.

Mistress Quickly

77 - 83
  1. Aside to Simple
  2. I am glad he is so quiet. If he had been throughly mov’d,
  3. you should have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But
  4. notwithstanding, man, I’ll do you your master what good I
  5. can; and the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
  6. master (I may call him my master, look you, for I keep his
  7. house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress meat and
  8. drink, make the beds, and do all myself)—

Simple

84
  1. Aside to Quickly
  2. ’Tis a great charge to come under one body’s hand.

Mistress Quickly

85 - 90
  1. Aside to Simple
  2. Are you avis’d o’ that? You shall find it a great charge;
  3. and to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding (to
  4. tell you in your ear, I would have no words of it) my master
  5. himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page; but
  6. notwithstanding that, I know Anne’s mindthat’s neither here
  7. nor there.

Caius

91 - 96
  1. You jack’nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh. By gar, it is
  2. a shallenge. I will cut his troat in de park; and I will
  3. teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make You may
  4. be gone; it is not good you tarry here. By gar, I will cut
  5. all his two stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to
  6. throw at his dog.
  1. Exit Simple.

Mistress Quickly

97
  1. Alas! He speaks but for his friend.

Caius

98 - 101
  1. It is no matter-a ver dat. Do not you tell-a me dat I shall
  2. have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack
  3. priest; and I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to
  4. measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself have Anne Page.

Mistress Quickly

102 - 103
  1. Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give
  2. folks leave to prate; what the good-jer!

Caius

104 - 106
  1. Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have not Anne
  2. Page, I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my
  3. heels, Rugby.
  1. Exeunt Caius and Rugby.

Mistress Quickly

107 - 110
  1. You shall have Annefool’s-head of your own. No, I know
  2. Anne’s mind for that. Never a woman in Windsor knows more of
  3. Anne’s mind than I do, nor can do more than I do with her, I
  4. thank heaven.

Fenton

111
  1. Within.
  2. Who’s within there, ho?

Mistress Quickly

112
  1. Who’s there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
  1. Enter Fenton.

Fenton

113
  1. How now, good woman, how dost thou?

Mistress Quickly

114
  1. The better that it pleases your good worship to ask.

Fenton

115
  1. What news? How does pretty Mistress Anne?

Mistress Quickly

116 - 118
  1. In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle,
  2. and one that is your friend; I can tell you that by the way,
  3. I praise heaven for it.

Fenton

119 - 120
  1. Shall I do any good, think’st thou? Shall I not lose my
  2. suit?

Mistress Quickly

121 - 123
  1. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above. But notwithstanding,
  2. Master Fenton, I’ll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have
  3. not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fenton

124
  1. Yes, marry, have I, what of that?

Mistress Quickly

125 - 129
  1. Well, thereby hangs a tale. Good faith, it is such another
  2. Nan; but (I detest) an honest maid as ever broke bread. We
  3. had an hour’s talk of that wart. I shall never laugh but in
  4. that maid’s company! But, indeed, she is given too much to
  5. allicholy and musing; but for youwellgo to.

Fenton

130 - 132
  1. Well; I shall see her today. Hold, there’s money for thee.
  2. Let me have thy voice in my behalf. If thou seest her before
  3. me, commend me.

Mistress Quickly

133 - 135
  1. Will I? I’ faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship
  2. more of the wart the next time we have confidence, and of
  3. other wooers.

Fenton

136
  1. Well, farewell, I am in great haste now.

Mistress Quickly

137 - 140
  1. Farewell to your worship.
  2. Exit Fenton.
  3. Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I
  4. know Anne’s mind as well as another does. Out upon’t! What
  5. have I forgot?
  1. Exit.
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