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Love’s Labour’s Lost: Act V, Scene 1

Love’s Labour’s Lost
Act V, Scene 1

Scene 1

The King of Navarre’s park.

  1. Enter the Pedant Holofernes, the Curate Sir Nathaniel, and
  2. Dull.

Holofernes

1
  1. Satis quid sufficit.

Sir Nathaniel

2 - 7
  1. I praise God for you, sir. Your reasons at dinner have been
  2. sharp and sententious: pleasant without scurrility, witty
  3. without affection, audacious without impudency, learned
  4. without opinion, and strange without heresy. I did converse
  5. this quondam day with a companion of the King’s, who is
  6. intituled, nominated, or called, Don Adriano de Armado.

Holofernes

8 - 12
  1. Novi hominem tanquam te. His humor is lofty, his discourse
  2. peremptory, his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gait
  3. majestical, and his general behavior vain, ridiculous, and
  4. thrasonical. He is too picked, too spruce, too affected, too
  5. odd as it were, too peregrinate, as I may call it.

Sir Nathaniel

13
  1. A most singular and choice epithet.
  1. Draw out his table-book.

Holofernes

14 - 23
  1. He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer than the
  2. staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical phantasimes,
  3. such insociable and point-devise companions, such rackers of
  4. orthography, as to speak dout,” fine, when he should say
  5. doubt”; det,” when he should pronounce debt”—d, e, b, t,
  6. not d, e, t: he clepeth a calf, cauf”; half, hauf”;
  7. neighbor vocatur nebor”; neigh abbreviated ne.” This is
  8. abhominablewhich he would call abbominable”; it
  9. insinuateth me of insanie: ne intelligis, domine? To make
  10. frantic, lunatic.

Sir Nathaniel

24
  1. Laus Deo, bone intelligo.

Holofernes

25 - 26
  1. Bone? Bone for bene, Priscian a little scratch’d, ’twill
  2. serve.
  1. Enter Braggart Armado, Boy Moth, and Costard.

Sir Nathaniel

27
  1. Videsne quis venit?

Holofernes

28
  1. Video, et gaudeo.

Armado

29
  1. To Moth.
  2. Chirrah!

Holofernes

30
  1. Quare. Chirrah, not sirrah?

Armado

31
  1. Men of peace, well encount’red.

Holofernes

32
  1. Most military sir, salutation.

Moth

33 - 34
  1. Aside to Costard
  2. They have been at a great feast of languages, and stol’n the
  3. scraps.

Costard

35 - 38
  1. O, they have liv’d long on the alms-basket of words. I
  2. marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a word, for thou
  3. art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus:
  4. thou art easier swallow’d than a flap-dragon.

Moth

39
  1. Peace, the peal begins.

Armado

40
  1. To Holofernes.
  2. Monsieur, are you not lett’red?

Moth

41 - 42
  1. Yes, yes, he teaches boys the horn-book. What is a, b,
  2. spell’d backward, with the horn on his head?

Holofernes

43
  1. Ba, pueritia, with a horn added.

Moth

44
  1. Ba, most silly sheep, with a horn. You hear his learning.

Holofernes

45
  1. Quis, quis, thou consonant?

Moth

46 - 47
  1. The last of the five vowels, if you repeat them; or the
  2. fift, if I.

Holofernes

48
  1. I will repeat thema, e, I

Moth

49
  1. The sheep: the other two concludes ito, U.

Armado

50 - 52
  1. Now by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum, a sweet touch, a
  2. quick venue of witsnip, snap, quick and home. It rejoiceth
  3. my intellect. True wit!

Moth

53
  1. Offer’d by a child to an old man: which is wit-old.

Holofernes

54
  1. What is the figure? What is the figure?

Moth

55
  1. Horns.

Holofernes

56
  1. Thou disputes like an infant; go whip thy gig.

Moth

57 - 58
  1. Lend me your horn to make one, and I will whip about your
  2. infamy, manu citaa gig of a cuckold’s horn.

Costard

59 - 65
  1. And I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst have it
  2. to buy gingerbread. Hold, there is the very remuneration I
  3. had of thy master, thou halfpenny purse of wit, thou
  4. pigeon-egg of discretion. O, and the heavens were so pleas’d
  5. that thou wert but my bastard, what a joyful father wouldest
  6. thou make me! Go to, thou hast it ad dunghill, at the
  7. fingers’ ends, as they say.

Holofernes

66
  1. O, I smell false Latin, dunghill for unguem.

Armado

67 - 69
  1. Arts-man, preambulate, we will be singuled from the
  2. barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house on
  3. the top of the mountain?

Holofernes

70
  1. Or mons, the hill.

Armado

71
  1. At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.

Holofernes

72
  1. I do, sans question.

Armado

73 - 75
  1. Sir, it is the King’s most sweet pleasure and affection to
  2. congratulate the Princess at her pavilion in the posteriors
  3. of this day, which the rude multitude call the afternoon.

Holofernes

76 - 79
  1. The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable,
  2. congruent, and measurable for the afternoon. The word is
  3. well cull’d, chose, sweet, and apt, I do assure you, sir, I
  4. do assure.

Armado

80 - 98
  1. Sir, the King is a noble gentleman, and my familiar, I do
  2. assure ye, very good friend; for what is inward between us,
  3. let it pass. I do beseech thee remember thy courtesy; I
  4. beseech thee apparel thy head; and among other importunate
  5. and most serious designs, and of great import indeed toobut
  6. let that pass; for I must tell thee it will please his Grace
  7. (by the world) sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder, and
  8. with his royal finger, thus, dally with my excrement, with
  9. my mustachio; but, sweet heart, let that pass. By the world,
  10. I recount no fable: some certain special honors it pleaseth
  11. his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of
  12. travel, that hath seen the world; but let that pass. The
  13. very all of all isbut, sweet heart, I do implore
  14. secretythat the King would have me present the Princess
  15. (sweet chuck) with some delightful ostentation, or show, or
  16. pageant, or antic, or firework. Now, understanding that the
  17. curate and your sweet self are good at such eruptions and
  18. sudden breaking out of mirth (as it were), I have acquainted
  19. you withal, to the end to crave your assistance.

Holofernes

99 - 104
  1. Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies. Sir
  2. Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment of time, some
  3. show in the posterior of this day, to be rend’red by our
  4. assistance, the King’s command, and this most gallant,
  5. illustrate, and learned gentleman, before the Princess, I
  6. say none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.

Sir Nathaniel

105
  1. Where will you find men worthy enough to present them?

Holofernes

106 - 108
  1. Joshua, yourself; myself; and this gallant gentleman, Judas
  2. Machabeus; this swain (because of his great limb or joint)
  3. shall pass Pompey the Great; the page, Hercules.

Armado

109 - 110
  1. Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that
  2. Worthy’s thumb, he is not so big as the end of his club.

Holofernes

111 - 113
  1. Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in
  2. minority; his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake;
  3. and I will have an apology for that purpose.

Moth

114 - 117
  1. An excellent device! So if any of the audience hiss, you may
  2. cry, Well done, Hercules, now thou crushest the snake!”
  3. That is the way to make an offense gracious, though few have
  4. the grace to do it.

Armado

118
  1. For the rest of the Worthies?

Holofernes

119
  1. I will play three myself.

Moth

120
  1. Thrice-worthy gentleman!

Armado

121
  1. Shall I tell you a thing?

Holofernes

122
  1. We attend.

Armado

123 - 124
  1. We will have, if this fadge not, an antic. I beseech you
  2. follow.

Holofernes

125
  1. Via, goodman Dull! Thou hast spoken no word all this while.

Dull

126
  1. Nor understood none neither, sir.

Holofernes

127
  1. Allons! We will employ thee.

Dull

128 - 129
  1. I’ll make one in a dance, or so; or I will play
  2. On the tabor to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay.

Holofernes

130
  1. Most dull, honest Dull! To our sport; away!
  1. Exeunt.
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