The Comedy of Errors
Act IV, Scene 3
A public place.
- Enter Antipholus of Syracuse.
Antipholus of Syracuse1 - 11
- There’s not a man I meet but doth salute me
- As if I were their well-acquainted friend,
- And every one doth call me by my name:
- Some tender money to me, some invite me;
- Some other give me thanks for kindnesses;
- Some offer me commodities to buy.
- Even now a tailor call’d me in his shop,
- And show’d me silks that he had bought for me,
- And therewithal took measure of my body.
- Sure these are but imaginary wiles,
- And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
- Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
Dromio of Syracuse12 - 13
- Master, here’s the gold you sent me for. What, have you got
- the picture of old Adam new apparell’d?
Antipholus of Syracuse14
- What gold is this? What Adam dost thou mean?
Dromio of Syracuse15 - 18
- Not that Adam that kept the Paradise, but that Adam that
- keeps the prison; he that goes in the calve’s-skin that was
- kill’d for the Prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like
- an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty.
Antipholus of Syracuse19
- I understand thee not.
Dromio of Syracuse20 - 25
- No? Why, ’tis a plain case: he that went like a base-viol in
- a case of leather; the man, sir, that when gentlemen are
- tir’d, gives them a sob and ’rests them; he, sir, that takes
- pity on decay’d men and gives them suits of durance; he that
- sets up his rest to do more exploits with his mace than a
Antipholus of Syracuse26
- What, thou mean’st an officer?
Dromio of Syracuse27 - 29
- Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band: he that brings any man to
- answer it that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always
- going to bed and says, “God give you good rest!”
Antipholus of Syracuse30 - 31
- Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ships
- puts forth tonight? May we be gone?
Dromio of Syracuse32 - 35
- Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since that the bark
- Expedition put forth tonight, and then were you hind’red by
- the sergeant to tarry for the hoy Delay. Here are the angels
- that you sent for to deliver you.
Antipholus of Syracuse36 - 38
- The fellow is distract, and so am I,
- And here we wander in illusions:
- Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
- Enter a Courtezan.
Courtezan39 - 41
- Well met, well met, Master Antipholus.
- I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now.
- Is that the chain you promis’d me today?
Antipholus of Syracuse42
- Satan, avoid, I charge thee tempt me not.
Dromio of Syracuse43
- Master, is this Mistress Satan?
Antipholus of Syracuse44
- It is the devil.
Dromio of Syracuse45 - 50
- Nay, she is worse, she is the devil’s dam, and here she
- comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes that
- the wenches say, “God damn me,” that’s as much to say, “God
- make me a light wench.” It is written, they appear to men
- like angels of light, light is an effect of fire, and fire
- will burn: ergo, light wenches will burn. Come not near her.
Courtezan51 - 52
- Your man and you are marvelous merry, sir.
- Will you go with me? We’ll mend our dinner here.
Dromio of Syracuse53 - 54
- Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long
Antipholus of Syracuse55
- Why, Dromio?
Dromio of Syracuse56 - 57
- Marry, he must have a long spoon that must eat with the
Antipholus of Syracuse58 - 60
- Avoid then, fiend, what tell’st thou me of supping?
- Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress:
- I conjure thee to leave me and be gone.
Courtezan61 - 63
- Give me the ring of mine you had at dinner,
- Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis’d,
- And I’ll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
Dromio of Syracuse64 - 69
- Some devils ask but the parings of one’s nail,
- A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin,
- A nut, a cherry-stone;
- But she, more covetous, would have a chain.
- Master, be wise, and if you give it her,
- The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it.
Courtezan70 - 71
- I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the chain;
- I hope you do not mean to cheat me so?
Antipholus of Syracuse72
- Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go.
Dromio of Syracuse73
- “Fly pride,” says the peacock: mistress, that you know.
- Exit with Antipholus of Syracuse.
Courtezan74 - 89
- Now out of doubt Antipholus is mad,
- Else would he never so demean himself.
- A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats,
- And for the same he promis’d me a chain:
- Both one and other he denies me now.
- The reason that I gather he is mad,
- Besides this present instance of his rage,
- Is a mad tale he told today at dinner,
- Of his own doors being shut against his entrance.
- Belike his wife, acquainted with his fits,
- On purpose shut the doors against his way.
- My way is now to hie home to his house,
- And tell his wife that, being lunatic,
- He rush’d into my house, and took perforce
- My ring away. This course I fittest choose,
- For forty ducats is too much to lose.