log out

The Comedy of Errors: Act III, Scene 1

The Comedy of Errors
Act III, Scene 1

Scene 1

Before the house of Antipholus of Ephesus.

  1. Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, his man Dromio of Ephesus,
  2. Angelo the goldsmith, and Balthazar the merchant.

Antipholus of Ephesus

1 - 10
  1. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all,
  2. My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours:
  3. Say that I linger’d with you at your shop
  4. To see the making of her carcanet,
  5. And that tomorrow you will bring it home.
  6. But here’s a villain that would face me down
  7. He met me on the mart, and that I beat him,
  8. And charg’d him with a thousand marks in gold,
  9. And that I did deny my wife and house.
  10. Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?

Dromio of Ephesus

11 - 14
  1. Say what you will, sir, but I know what I know:
  2. That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand to show;
  3. If the skin were parchment, and the blows you gave were ink,
  4. Your own handwriting would tell you what I think.

Antipholus of Ephesus

15
  1. I think thou art an ass.

Dromio of Ephesus

16 - 19
  1.                          Marry, so it doth appear
  2. By the wrongs I suffer, and the blows I bear.
  3. I should kick, being kick’d, and being at that pass,
  4. You would keep from my heels, and beware of an ass.

Antipholus of Ephesus

20 - 21
  1. Y’ are sad, Signior Balthazar, pray God our cheer
  2. May answer my good will and your good welcome here.

Balthazar

22
  1. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.

Antipholus of Ephesus

23 - 24
  1. O, Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
  2. A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.

Balthazar

25
  1. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.

Antipholus of Ephesus

26
  1. And welcome more common, for that’s nothing but words.

Balthazar

27
  1. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.

Antipholus of Ephesus

28 - 31
  1. Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest:
  2. But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
  3. Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
  4. But soft, my door is lock’d; go bid them let us in.

Dromio of Ephesus

32
  1. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cic’ly, Gillian, Ginn!

Dromio of Syracuse

33 - 36
  1. Within.
  2. Mome, malt-horse, capon, cox-comb, idiot, patch!
  3. Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the hatch;
  4. Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call’st for such store,
  5. When one is one too many? Go get thee from the door.

Dromio of Ephesus

37
  1. What patch is made our porter? My master stays in the street.

Dromio of Syracuse

38
  1. Within.
  2. Let him walk from whence he came, lest he catch cold on ’s feet.

Antipholus of Ephesus

39
  1. Who talks within there? Ho, open the door!

Dromio of Syracuse

40
  1. Within.
  2. Right, sir, I’ll tell you when, and you’ll tell me wherefore.

Antipholus of Ephesus

41
  1. Wherefore? For my dinner: I have not din’d today.

Dromio of Syracuse

42
  1. Within.
  2. Nor today here you must not, come again when you may.

Antipholus of Ephesus

43
  1. What art thou that keep’st me out from the house I owe?

Dromio of Syracuse

44
  1. Within.
  2. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.

Dromio of Ephesus

45 - 48
  1. O villain, thou hast stol’n both mine office and my name:
  2. The one ne’er got me credit, the other mickle blame.
  3. If thou hadst been Dromio today in my place,
  4. Thou wouldst have chang’d thy face for a name, or thy name for an ass.
  1. Enter Luce within.

Luce

49 - 50
  1. Within.
  2. What a coil is there, Dromio?
  3. Who are those at the gate?

Dromio of Ephesus

51
  1. Let my master in, Luce.

Luce

52 - 53
  1. Within.
  2.                         Faith, no, he comes too late,
  3. And so tell your master.

Dromio of Ephesus

54 - 55
  1.                          O Lord, I must laugh!
  2. Have at you with a proverbShall I set in my staff?

Luce

56
  1. Within.
  2. Have at you with another, that’sWhen? Can you tell?

Dromio of Syracuse

57
  1. Within.
  2. If thy name be called LuceLuce, thou hast answer’d him well.

Antipholus of Ephesus

58
  1. Do you hear, you minion? You’ll let us in, I hope?

Luce

59
  1. Within.
  2. I thought to have ask’d you.

Dromio of Syracuse

60
  1. Within.
  2.                              And you said no.

Dromio of Ephesus

61
  1. So come help: well struck! There was blow for blow.

Antipholus of Ephesus

62
  1. Thou baggage, let me in.

Luce

63
  1. Within.
  2.                          Can you tell for whose sake?

Dromio of Ephesus

64
  1. Master, knock the door hard.

Luce

65
  1. Within.
  2.                              Let him knock till it ache.

Antipholus of Ephesus

66
  1. You’ll cry for this, minion, if I beat the door down.

Luce

67
  1. Within.
  2. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks in the town?
  1. Enter Adriana within.

Adriana

68
  1. Within.
  2. Who is that at the door that keeps all this noise?

Dromio of Syracuse

69
  1. Within.
  2. By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.

Antipholus of Ephesus

70
  1. Are you there, wife? You might have come before.

Adriana

71
  1. Within.
  2. Your wife, sir knave? Go get you from the door.

Dromio of Ephesus

72
  1. If you went in pain, master, this knave would go sore.

Angelo

73
  1. Here is neither cheer, sir, nor welcome: we would fain have either.

Balthazar

74
  1. In debating which was best, we shall part with neither.

Dromio of Ephesus

75
  1. They stand at the door, master, bid them welcome hither.

Antipholus of Ephesus

76
  1. There is something in the wind, that we cannot get in.

Dromio of Ephesus

77 - 79
  1. You would say so, master, if your garments were thin.
  2. Your cake here is warm within: you stand here in the cold.
  3. It would make a man mad as a buck to be so bought and sold.

Antipholus of Ephesus

80
  1. Go fetch me something: I’ll break ope the gate.

Dromio of Syracuse

81
  1. Within.
  2. Break any breaking here, and I’ll break your knave’s pate.

Dromio of Ephesus

82 - 83
  1. A man may break a word with you, sir, and words are but wind:
  2. Ay, and break it in your face, so he break it not behind.

Dromio of Syracuse

84
  1. Within.
  2. It seems thou want’st breaking, out upon thee, hind!

Dromio of Ephesus

85
  1. Here’s too much out upon thee!”; I pray thee let me in.

Dromio of Syracuse

86
  1. Within.
  2. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and fish have no fin.

Antipholus of Ephesus

87
  1. Well, I’ll break in: go borrow me a crow.

Dromio of Ephesus

88 - 90
  1. A crow without feather? Master, mean you so?
  2. For a fish without a fin, there’s a fowl without a feather:
  3. If a crow help us in, sirrah, we’ll pluck a crow together.

Antipholus of Ephesus

91
  1. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow.

Balthazar

92 - 113
  1. Have patience, sir, O, let it not be so!
  2. Herein you war against your reputation,
  3. And draw within the compass of suspect
  4. Th’ unviolated honor of your wife.
  5. Once thisyour long experience of her wisdom,
  6. Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,
  7. Plead on her part some cause to you unknown;
  8. And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse
  9. Why at this time the doors are made against you.
  10. Be rul’d by me, depart in patience,
  11. And let us to the Tiger all to dinner;
  12. And about evening come yourself alone
  13. To know the reason of this strange restraint.
  14. If by strong hand you offer to break in
  15. Now in the stirring passage of the day,
  16. A vulgar comment will be made of it;
  17. And that supposed by the common rout
  18. Against your yet ungalled estimation,
  19. That may with foul intrusion enter in,
  20. And dwell upon your grave when you are dead;
  21. For slander lives upon succession,
  22. Forever hous’d where it gets possession.

Antipholus of Ephesus

114 - 129
  1. You have prevail’d. I will depart in quiet,
  2. And in despite of mirth mean to be merry.
  3. I know a wench of excellent discourse,
  4. Pretty and witty; wild, and yet, too, gentle;
  5. There will we dine. This woman that I mean,
  6. My wife (but, I protest, without desert)
  7. Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal:
  8. To her will we to dinner.
  9. To Angelo.
  10. Get you home
  11. And fetch the chain; by this I know ’tis made.
  12. Bring it, I pray you, to the Porpentine,
  13. For there’s the house. That chain will I bestow
  14. (Be it for nothing but to spite my wife)
  15. Upon mine hostess there. Good sir, make haste.
  16. Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me,
  17. I’ll knock elsewhere, to see if they’ll disdain me.

Angelo

130
  1. I’ll meet you at that place some hour hence.

Antipholus of Ephesus

131
  1. Do so. This jest shall cost me some expense.
  1. Exeunt.
© 2019 Unotate.comcontactprivacy policyCreative Commons text from PlayShakespeare.comAll illustrations are public domain or Creative CommonsHeader illustration by Byam Shaw