The Comedy of Errors
Act 1, Scene 2
- Enter Antipholus Erotes of Syracuse, First Merchant, and
- Dromio of Syracuse.
First Merchant3 - 10
- Therefore give out you are of Epidamium,
- Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate:
- This very day a Syracusian merchant
- Is apprehended for arrival here;
- And not being able to buy out his life,
- According to the statute of the town,
- Dies ere the weary sun set in the west.
- There is your money that I had to keep.
Antipholus of Syracuse11 - 18
- Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
- And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee.
- Within this hour it will be dinner-time;
- Till that, I’ll view the manners of the town,
- Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings,
- And then return and sleep within mine inn,
- For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
- Get thee away.
Dromio of Syracuse19 - 20
- Many a man would take you at your word,
- And go indeed, having so good a mean.
- Exit Dromio.
Antipholus of Syracuse22 - 26
- A trusty villain, sir, that very oft,
- When I am dull with care and melancholy,
- Lightens my humor with his merry jests.
- What, will you walk with me about the town,
- And then go to my inn and dine with me?
First Merchant27 - 32
- I am invited, sir, to certain merchants,
- Of whom I hope to make much benefit;
- I crave your pardon. Soon at five a’ clock,
- Please you, I’ll meet with you upon the mart,
- And afterward consort you till bed-time:
- My present business calls me from you now.
Antipholus of Syracuse33 - 34
- Farewell till then. I will go lose myself,
- And wander up and down to view the city.
- Sir, I commend you to your own content.
Antipholus of Syracuse37 - 47
- He that commends me to mine own content,
- Commends me to the thing I cannot get:
- I to the world am like a drop of water,
- That in the ocean seeks another drop,
- Who, falling there to find his fellow forth
- (Unseen, inquisitive), confounds himself.
- So I, to find a mother and a brother,
- In quest of them (unhappy), ah, lose myself.
- Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
- Here comes the almanac of my true date.
- What now? How chance thou art return’d so soon?
Dromio of Ephesus48 - 57
- Return’d so soon! Rather approach’d too late:
- The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit;
- The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell:
- My mistress made it one upon my cheek:
- She is so hot, because the meat is cold:
- The meat is cold, because you come not home:
- You come not home, because you have no stomach:
- You have no stomach, having broke your fast:
- But we that know what ’tis to fast and pray,
- Are penitent for your default today.
Antipholus of Syracuse58 - 59
- Stop in your wind, sir; tell me this, I pray:
- Where have you left the money that I gave you?
Dromio of Ephesus60 - 62
- O—sixpence that I had a’ We’n’sday last
- To pay the saddler for my mistress’ crupper?
- The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not.
Antipholus of Syracuse63 - 66
- I am not in a sportive humor now:
- Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
- We being strangers here, how dar’st thou trust
- So great a charge from thine own custody?
Dromio of Ephesus67 - 72
- I pray you jest, sir, as you sit at dinner.
- I from my mistress come to you in post:
- If I return, I shall be post indeed,
- For she will score your fault upon my pate:
- Methinks your maw, like mine, should be your clock,
- And strike you home without a messenger.
Antipholus of Syracuse73 - 75
- Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out of season,
- Reserve them till a merrier hour than this:
- Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
Dromio of Ephesus76
- To me, sir? Why, you gave no gold to me.
Antipholus of Syracuse77 - 78
- Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
- And tell me how thou hast dispos’d thy charge.
Dromio of Ephesus79 - 81
- My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
- Home to your house, the Phoenix, sir, to dinner;
- My mistress and her sister stays for you.
Antipholus of Syracuse82 - 86
- Now, as I am a Christian, answer me,
- In what safe place you have bestow’d my money;
- Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours
- That stands on tricks when I am undispos’d:
- Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
Dromio of Ephesus87 - 91
- I have some marks of yours upon my pate;
- Some of my mistress’ marks upon my shoulders;
- But not a thousand marks between you both.
- If I should pay your worship those again,
- Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
Antipholus of Syracuse92
- Thy mistress’ marks? What mistress, slave, hast thou?
Dromio of Ephesus93 - 95
- Your worship’s wife, my mistress at the Phoenix;
- She that doth fast till you come home to dinner;
- And prays that you will hie you home to dinner.
Antipholus of Syracuse96 - 97
- What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my face,
- Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave.
- Strikes Dromio.
Dromio of Ephesus99 - 100
- What mean you, sir? For God sake hold your hands!
- Nay, and you will not, sir, I’ll take my heels.
- Exit Dromio of Ephesus.
Antipholus of Syracuse102 - 112
- Upon my life, by some device or other
- The villain is o’erraught of all my money.
- They say this town is full of cozenage:
- As nimble jugglers that deceive the eye,
- Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind,
- Soul-killing witches that deform the body,
- Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
- And many such-like liberties of sin:
- If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
- I’ll to the Centaur to go seek this slave;
- I greatly fear my money is not safe.