All’s Well That Ends Well
Act II, Scene 2
Roussillon . The Count’s palace .
- Enter Countess and Clown .
Countess1 - 2
- Come on , sir , I shall now put you to the height of your
- breeding .
Lavatch3 - 4
- I will show myself highly fed and lowly taught . I know my
- business is but to the court .
Countess5 - 6
- To the court ! Why , what place make you special , when you put
- off that with such contempt ? But to the court !
Lavatch7 - 12
- Truly , madam , if God have lent a man any manners , he may
- easily put it off at court . He that cannot make a leg , put
- off ’s cap , kiss his hand , and say nothing , has neither leg ,
- hands , lip , nor cap ; and indeed such a fellow , to say
- precisely , were not for the court ; but for me , I have an
- answer will serve all men .
- Marry , that’s a bountiful answer that fits all questions .
Lavatch14 - 16
- It is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks : the
- pin - buttock , the quatch - buttock , the brawn - buttock , or any
- buttock .
- Will your answer serve fit to all questions ?
Lavatch18 - 23
- As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an attorney , as your
- French crown for your taffety punk , as Tib’s rush for Tom’s
Feb 23, 2019 MikoShrove Tuesday, also called Pancake Day, or (in modern times) Fat Tuesday, is the last day before Lent (which begins on Ash Wednesday). It was traditional to consume all remaining fattening foods before Lent began. Pancakes were a good way to use up fatty foods such as milk and butter.
- May - day , as the nail to his hole , the cuckold to his horn ,
- as a scolding quean to a wrangling knave , as the nun’s lip
- to the friar’s mouth , nay , as the pudding to his skin .
Countess24 - 25
- Have you , I say , an answer of such fitness for all
- questions ?
Lavatch26 - 27
- From below your duke to beneath your constable , it will fit
- any question .
Countess28 - 29
- It must be an answer of most monstrous size that must fit
- all demands .
Lavatch30 - 32
- But a trifle neither , in good faith , if the learned should
- speak truth of it . Here it is , and all that belongs to’t .
- Ask me if I am a courtier : it shall do you no harm to learn .
Countess33 - 35
- To be young again , if we could , I will be a fool in
- question , hoping to be the wiser by your answer . I pray you ,
- sir , are you a courtier ?
Lavatch36 - 37
- O Lord , sir !— There’s a simple putting off . More , more , a
- hundred of them .
- Sir , I am a poor friend of yours that loves you .
- O Lord , sir !— Thick , thick , spare not me .
- I think , sir , you can eat none of this homely meat .
- O Lord , sir !— Nay , put me to’t , I warrant you .
- You were lately whipt , sir , as I think .
- O Lord , sir !— Spare not me .
Countess44 - 47
- Do you cry , “ O Lord , sir !” at your whipping , and “ Spare not
- me ”? Indeed your “ O Lord , sir !” is very sequent to your
- whipping ; you would answer very well to a whipping , if you
- were but bound to’t .
Lavatch48 - 49
- I ne’er had worse luck in my life in my “ O Lord , sir !” I see
- things may serve long , but not serve ever .
Countess50 - 51
- I play the noble huswife with the time ,
- To entertain it so merrily with a fool .
- O Lord , sir !— Why , there’t serves well again .
Countess53 - 56
- An end , sir ; to your business : give Helen this ,
- And urge her to a present answer back .
- Commend me to my kinsmen and my son .
- This is not much .
- Not much commendation to them .
- Not much employment for you . You understand me ?
- Most fruitfully , I am there before my legs .
- Haste you again .
- Exeunt .