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The Two Noble Kinsmen: Act V, Scene 2

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The Two Noble Kinsmen
Act V, Scene 2

A darkened room in the prison.

  1. Enter Doctor, Jailer, and Wooer in habit of Palamon.

Doctor

1
  1. Has this advice I told you done any good upon her?

Wooer

2 - 6
  1. O, very much; the maids that kept her company
  2. Have half persuaded her that I am Palamon.
  3. Within this half hour she came smiling to me,
  4. And ask’d me what I would eat, and when I would kiss her.
  5. I told her, presently, and kiss’d her twice.

Doctor

7 - 8
  1. ’Twas well done. Twenty times had been far better,
  2. For there the cure lies mainly.

Wooer

9 - 11
  1.                                 Then she told me
  2. She would watch with me tonight, for well she knew
  3. What hour my fit would take me.

Doctor

12 - 13
  1.                                 Let her do so,
  2. And when your fit comes, fit her home, and presently.

Wooer

14
  1. She would have me sing.

Doctor

15
  1. You did so?

Wooer

16
  1.             No.

Doctor

17 - 18
  1.     ’Twas very ill done then.
  2. You should observe her ev’ry way.

Wooer

19 - 20
  1.                                   Alas,
  2. I have no voice, sir, to confirm her that way.

Doctor

21 - 23
  1. That’s all one, if ye make a noise.
  2. If she entreat again, do any thing,
  3. Lie with her, if she ask you.

Jailer

24
  1.                               Ho there, doctor!

Doctor

25
  1. Yes, in the way of cure.

Jailer

26 - 27
  1.                          But first, by your leave,
  2. I’ th’ way of honesty.

Doctor

28 - 31
  1.                        That’s but a niceness.
  2. Nev’r cast your child away for honesty.
  3. Cure her first this way; then if she will be honest,
  4. She has the path before her.

Jailer

32
  1.                              Thank ye, doctor.

Doctor

33 - 34
  1. Pray bring her in
  2. And let’s see how she is.

Jailer

35 - 37
  1.                           I will, and tell her
  2. Her Palamon stays for her; but, doctor,
  3. Methinks you are i’ th’ wrong still.
  1. Exit Jailer.

Doctor

38 - 40
  1.                                      Go, go!
  2. You fathers are fine fools. Her honesty!
  3. And we should give her physic till we find that—

Wooer

41
  1. Why, do you think she is not honest, sir?

Doctor

42
  1. How old is she?

Wooer

43
  1.                 She’s eighteen.

Doctor

44 - 48
  1.                 She may be,
  2. But that’s all one, ’tis nothing to our purpose.
  3. What e’er her father says, if you perceive
  4. Her mood inclining that way that I spoke of,
  5. Videlicet, the way of flesh—you have me?

Wooer

49
  1. Yet very well, sir.

Doctor

50 - 52
  1.                     Please her appetite,
  2. And do it home; it cures her ipso facto
  3. The melancholy humor that infects her.

Wooer

53
  1. I am of your mind, doctor.
  1. Enter Jailer, Daughter, Maid.

Doctor

54
  1. You’ll find it so. She comes. Pray humor her.
  1. Wooer retires.

Jailer

55 - 56
  1. Come, your love Palamon stays for you, child,
  2. And has done this long hour, to visit you.

Daughter

57 - 59
  1. I thank him for his gentle patience,
  2. He’s a kind gentleman, and I am much bound to him.
  3. Did you nev’r see the horse he gave me?

Jailer

60
  1.                                         Yes.

Daughter

61
  1. How do you like him?

Jailer

62
  1.                      He’s a very fair one.

Daughter

63
  1. You never saw him dance?

Jailer

64
  1.                          No.

Daughter

65 - 68
  1.     I have often.
  2. He dances very finely, very comely,
  3. And for a jig, come cut and long tail to him,
  4. He turns ye like a top.

Jailer

69
  1.                         That’s fine indeed.

Daughter

70 - 74
  1. He’ll dance the morris twenty mile an hour,
  2. And that will founder the best hobby-horse
  3. (If I have any skill) in all the parish,
  4. And gallops to the tune of “Light a’ love.”
  5. What think you of this horse?

Jailer

75 - 76
  1.                               Having these virtues,
  2. I think he might be brought to play at tennis.

Daughter

77
  1. Alas, that’s nothing.

Jailer

78
  1.                       Can he write and read too?

Daughter

79 - 82
  1. A very fair hand, and casts himself th’ accounts
  2. Of all his hay and provender. That hostler
  3. Must rise betime that cozens him. You know
  4. The chestnut mare the Duke has?

Jailer

83
  1.                                 Very well.

Daughter

84 - 85
  1. She is horribly in love with him, poor beast,
  2. But he is like his master, coy and scornful.

Jailer

86
  1. What dowry has she?

Daughter

87 - 90
  1.                     Some two hundred bottles,
  2. And twenty strike of oats, but he’ll ne’er have her.
  3. He lisps in ’s neighing able to entice
  4. A miller’s mare, he’ll be the death of her.

Doctor

91
  1. What stuff she utters!

Jailer

92
  1. Make curtsy, here your love comes.
  1. Wooer comes forward.

Wooer

93 - 94
  1.                                    Pretty soul,
  2. How do ye? That’s a fine maid! There’s a curtsy!

Daughter

95 - 96
  1. Yours to command i’ th’ way of honesty.
  2. How far is’t now to th’ end o’ th’ world, my masters?

Doctor

97
  1. Why, a day’s journey, wench.

Daughter

98
  1.                              Will you go with me?

Wooer

99
  1. What shall we do there, wench?

Daughter

100 - 101
  1.                                Why, play at stoolball:
  2. What is there else to do?

Wooer

102 - 103
  1.                           I am content,
  2. If we shall keep our wedding there.

Daughter

104 - 110
  1.                                     ’Tis true,
  2. For there, I will assure you, we shall find
  3. Some blind priest for the purpose that will venture
  4. To marry us, for here they are nice and foolish.
  5. Besides, my father must be hang’d tomorrow,
  6. And that would be a blot i’ th’ business.
  7. Are not you Palamon?

Wooer

111
  1.                      Do not you know me?

Daughter

112 - 113
  1. Yes, but you care not for me. I have nothing
  2. But this poor petticoat and two coarse smocks.

Wooer

114
  1. That’s all one, I will have you.

Daughter

115
  1.                                  Will you surely?

Wooer

116
  1. Yes, by this fair hand, will I.

Daughter

117
  1.                                 We’ll to bed then.

Wooer

118
  1. Ev’n when you will.
  1. Kisses her.

Daughter

119
  1.                     O, sir, you would fain be nibbling.

Wooer

120
  1. Why do you rub my kiss off?

Daughter

121 - 123
  1.                             ’Tis a sweet one,
  2. And will perfume me finely against the wedding.
  3. Is not this your cousin Arcite?

Doctor

124 - 126
  1.                                 Yes, sweet heart,
  2. And I am glad my cousin Palamon
  3. Has made so fair a choice.

Daughter

127
  1.                            Do you think he’ll have me?

Doctor

128
  1. Yes, without doubt.

Daughter

129
  1.                     Do you think so too?

Jailer

130
  1.                      Yes.

Daughter

131 - 135
  1. We shall have many children.—Lord, how y’ are grown!
  2. My Palamon I hope will grow too, finely,
  3. Now he’s at liberty. Alas, poor chicken,
  4. He was kept down with hard meat and ill lodging,
  5. But I’ll kiss him up again.
  1. Enter First Messenger.

First Messenger

136 - 137
  1. What do you here? You’ll lose the noblest sight
  2. That ev’r was seen.

Jailer

138
  1.                     Are they i’ th’ field?

First Messenger

139 - 140
  1.                        They are.
  2. You bear a charge there too.

Jailer

141 - 142
  1.                              I’ll away straight.
  2. I must ev’n leave you here.

Doctor

143 - 144
  1.                             Nay, we’ll go with you,
  2. I will not lose the fight.

Jailer

145
  1.                            How did you like her?

Doctor

146 - 149
  1. I’ll warrant you within these three or four days
  2. I’ll make her right again.
  3. To the Wooer.
  4.                            You must not from her,
  5. But still preserve her in this way.

Wooer

150
  1.                                     I will.

Doctor

151
  1. Let’s get her in.

Wooer

152 - 153
  1.                   Come, sweet, we’ll go to dinner,
  2. And then we’ll play at cards.

Daughter

154
  1.                               And shall we kiss too?

Wooer

155
  1. A hundred times.

Daughter

156
  1.                  And twenty?

Wooer

157
  1.             Ay, and twenty.

Daughter

158
  1. And then we’ll sleep together?

Doctor

159
  1.                                Take her offer.

Wooer

160
  1. Yes, marry, will we.

Daughter

161
  1.                      But you shall not hurt me.

Wooer

162
  1. I will not, sweet.

Daughter

163
  1.                    If you do, love, I’ll cry.
  1. Exeunt.
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