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The Two Noble Kinsmen: Act III, Scene 5

The Two Noble Kinsmen
Act III, Scene 5

Another part of the forest near Athens.

  1. Enter a Schoolmaster Gerald, four Countrymen as
  2. morris-dancers and another as the Bavian, five Wenches
  3. (Nell, Friz, Maudline, Luce and Barbary), with a Taborer.

Gerald

1 - 21
  1. Fie, fie,
  2. What tediosity and disensanity
  3. Is here among ye! Have my rudiments
  4. Been labor’d so long with ye, milk’d unto ye,
  5. And by a figure, even the very plum-broth
  6. And marrow of my understanding laid upon ye,
  7. And do you still cry, Where?” and How?” and Wherefore?”
  8. You most coarse frieze capacities, ye jane judgments,
  9. Have I said, Thus let be,” and There let be,”
  10. And Then let be,” and no man understand me?
  11. Proh Deum, medius fidius, ye are all dunces!
  12. For why, here stand I; here the Duke comes; there are you,
  13. Close in the thicket. The Duke appears, I meet him
  14. And unto him I utter learned things,
  15. And many figures; he hears, and nods, and hums,
  16. And then cries, Rare!” and I go forward. At length
  17. I fling my cap up; mark there! Then do you,
  18. As once did Meleager and the boar,
  19. Break comely out before him; like true lovers,
  20. Cast yourselves in a body decently,
  21. And sweetly, by a figure, trace and turn, boys.

First Country Folk

22
  1. And sweetly we will do it, Master Gerald.

Second Country Folk

23
  1. Draw up the company. Where’s the taborer?

Third Country Folk

24
  1. Why, Timothy!

Taborer

25
  1.               Here, my mad boys, have at ye!

Gerald

26
  1. But I say, where’s their women?

Fourth Country Folk

27
  1.                                 Here’s Friz and Maudline.

Second Country Folk

28
  1. And little Luce with the white legs, and bouncing Barbary.

First Country Folk

29
  1. And freckled Nellthat never fail’d her master.

Gerald

30 - 32
  1. Where be your ribands, maids? Swim with your bodies,
  2. And carry it sweetly and deliverly,
  3. And now and then a favor and a frisk.

Nell

33
  1. Let us alone, sir.

Gerald

34
  1.                    Where’s the rest o’ th’ music?

Third Country Folk

35
  1. Dispers’d as you commanded.

Gerald

36 - 41
  1.                             Couple then,
  2. And see what’s wanting. Where’s the Bavian?
  3. My friend, carry your tail without offense
  4. Or scandal to the ladies; and be sure
  5. You tumble with audacity and manhood,
  6. And when you bark, do it with judgment.

Bavian

42
  1.                                         Yes, sir.

Gerald

43
  1. Quo usque tandem? Here is a woman wanting.

Fourth Country Folk

44
  1. We may go whistle; all the fat’s i’ th’ fire.

Gerald

45 - 46
  1. We have, as learned authors utter, wash’d a tile,
  2. We have been fatuus, and labored vainly.

Second Country Folk

47 - 52
  1. This is that scornful piece, that scurvy hilding,
  2. That gave her promise faithfully she would
  3. Be here, Cicely the sempster’s daughter.
  4. The next gloves that I give her shall be dogskin;
  5. Nay, and she fail me onceYou can tell, Arcas,
  6. She swore by wine and bread she would not break.

Gerald

53 - 56
  1. An eel and woman,
  2. A learned poet says, unless by th’ tail
  3. And with thy teeth thou hold, will either fail.
  4. In manners this was false position.

First Country Folk

57
  1. A fire ill take her! Does she flinch now?

Third Country Folk

58 - 59
  1.                                           What
  2. Shall we determine, sir?

Gerald

60 - 62
  1.                          Nothing,
  2. Our business is become a nullity,
  3. Yea, and a woeful and a piteous nullity.

Fourth Country Folk

63 - 65
  1. Now when the credit of our town lay on it,
  2. Now to be frampal, now to piss o’ th’ nettle!
  3. Go thy ways, I’ll remember thee, I’ll fit thee!
  1. Enter Jailer’s Daughter.

Daughter

66 - 78
  1. Sings.
  2. The George Alow came from the south,
  3. From the coast of Barbary-a;
  4. And there he met with brave gallants of war,
  5. By one, by two, by three-a.
  6. Well hail’d, well hail’d, you jolly gallants!
  7. And whither now are you bound-a?
  8. O, let me have your company
  9. Till I come to the sound-a.”
  10. There was three fools fell out about an howlet:
  11. The one said it was an owl,
  12. The other he said nay,
  13. The third he said it was a hawk,
  14. And her bells were cut away.”

Third Country Folk

79 - 82
  1. There’s a dainty mad woman, master,
  2. Comes i’ th’ nick, as mad as a March hare.
  3. If we can get her dance, we are made again.
  4. I warrant her, she’ll do the rarest gambols.

First Country Folk

83
  1. A mad woman? We are made, boys!

Gerald

84
  1. And are you mad, good woman?

Daughter

85 - 86
  1.                              I would be sorry else.
  2. Give me your hand.

Gerald

87
  1.                    Why?

Daughter

88 - 93
  1.      I can tell your fortune.
  2. You are a fool. Tell tenI have pos’d him. Buzz!
  3. Friend, you must eat no white bread; if you do,
  4. Your teeth will bleed extremely. Shall we dance ho?
  5. I know you, y’ are a tinker. Sirrah tinker,
  6. Stop no more holes but what you should.

Gerald

94 - 95
  1.                                         Dii boni!
  2. A tinker, damsel?

Daughter

96 - 98
  1.                   Or a conjurer.
  2. Raise me a devil now, and let him play
  3. Qui passa o’ th’ bells and bones.

Gerald

99 - 102
  1.                                   Go take her,
  2. And fluently persuade her to a peace.
  3. Et opus exegi, quod nec Jovis ira, nec ignis”—
  4. Strike up, and lead her in.

Second Country Folk

103
  1.                             Come, lass, let’s trip it.

Daughter

104
  1. I’ll lead.

Third Country Folk

105
  1. Do, do.

Gerald

106 - 110
  1. Persuasively and cunningly.
  2. Wind horns.
  3.                             Away, boys!
  4. I hear the horns. Give me some meditation,
  5. And mark your cue.
  6. Exeunt all but Schoolmaster.
  7.                    Pallas inspire me!
  1. Enter Theseus, Pirithous, Hippolyta, Emilia, Arcite, and
  2. Train.

Theseus

111
  1. This way the stag took.

Gerald

112
  1.                         Stay, and edify.

Theseus

113
  1. What have we here?

Pirithous

114
  1. Some country sport, upon my life, sir.

Theseus

115 - 116
  1. Well, sir, go forward, we will edify.
  2. Ladies, sit down, we’ll stay it.

Gerald

117
  1. Thou doughty Duke, all hail! All hail, sweet ladies!

Theseus

118
  1. This is a cold beginning.

Gerald

119 - 151
  1. If you but favor, our country pastime made is.
  2. We are a few of those collected here
  3. That ruder tongues distinguish villager,
  4. And to say verity, and not to fable,
  5. We are a merry rout, or else a rable,
  6. Or company, or by a figure, choris,
  7. That ’fore thy dignity will dance a morris.
  8. And I, that am the rectifier of all,
  9. By title paedagogus, that let fall
  10. The birch upon the breeches of the small ones,
  11. And humble with a ferula the tall ones,
  12. Do here present this machine, or this frame,
  13. And, dainty Duke, whose doughty dismal fame
  14. From Dis to Daedalus, from post to pillar,
  15. Is blown abroad, help me, thy poor well-willer,
  16. And with thy twinkling eyes look right and straight
  17. Upon this mighty Morrof mickle weight
  18. Isnow comes in, which being glu’d together
  19. Makes Morris, and the cause that we came hither.
  20. The body of our sport, of no small study,
  21. I first appear, though rude, and raw, and muddy,
  22. To speak, before thy noble Grace, this tenner;
  23. At whose great feet I offer up my penner.
  24. The next, the Lord of May and Lady bright,
  25. The Chambermaid and Servingman, by night
  26. That seek out silent hanging. Then mine Host
  27. And his fat spouse, that welcomes to their cost
  28. The galled traveler, and with a beck’ning
  29. Informs the tapster to inflame the reck’ning.
  30. Then the beast-eating Clown, and next the Fool,
  31. The Bavian, with long tail and eke long tool,
  32. Cum multis aliis that make a dance.
  33. Say Ay,” and all shall presently advance.

Theseus

152
  1. Ay, ay, by any means, dear domine.

Pirithous

153
  1. Produce.

Gerald

154 - 164
  1. Knock for school.
  2. Intrate, filii; come forth, and foot it.
  3. Enter the Dancers. Music. Dance.
  4. Ladies, if we have been merry,
  5. And have pleas’d ye with a derry,
  6. And a derry, and a down,
  7. Say the schoolmaster’s no clown.
  8. Duke, if we have pleas’d thee too
  9. And have done as good boys should do,
  10. Give us but a tree or twain
  11. For a Maypole, and again,
  12. Ere another year run out,
  13. We’ll make thee laugh and all this rout.

Theseus

165
  1. Take twenty, domine.—How does my sweet heart?

Hippolyta

166
  1. Never so pleas’d, sir.

Emilia

167 - 168
  1. ’Twas an excellent dance, and for a preface,
  2. I never heard a better.

Theseus

169 - 170
  1.                         Schoolmaster, I thank you.
  2. One see ’em all rewarded.

Pirithous

171 - 172
  1.                           And here’s something
  2. Gives money.
  3. To paint your pole withal.

Theseus

173
  1.                            Now to our sports again.

Gerald

174 - 179
  1. May the stag thou hunt’st stand long,
  2. And thy dogs be swift and strong!
  3. May they kill him without lets,
  4. And the ladies eat his dowsets!
  5. Exeunt Theseus and his company. Wind horns.
  6. Come, we are all made. Dii deaeque omnes!
  7. Ye have danc’d rarely, wenches.
  1. Exeunt.
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