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Troilus and Cressida: Act I, Scene 2

Troilus and Cressida
Act I, Scene 2

Troy. A street.

  1. Enter Cressida and her man Alexander.

Cressida

1
  1. Who were those went by?

Alexander

2
  1.                         Queen Hecuba and Helen.

Cressida

3
  1. And whither go they?

Alexander

4 - 13
  1.                      Up to the eastern tower,
  2. Whose height commands as subject all the vale,
  3. To see the battle. Hector, whose patience
  4. Is as a virtue fix’d, today was mov’d:
  5. He chid Andromache and struck his armorer,
  6. And like as there were husbandry in war,
  7. Before the sun rose he was harness’d light,
  8. And to the field goes he; where every flower
  9. Did as a prophet weep what it foresaw
  10. In Hector’s wrath.

Cressida

14
  1.                    What was his cause of anger?

Alexander

15 - 17
  1. The noise goes, this: there is among the Greeks
  2. A lord of Troyan blood, nephew to Hector,
  3. They call him Ajax.

Cressida

18
  1.                     Good; and what of him?

Alexander

19
  1. They say he is a very man per se and stands alone.

Cressida

20
  1. So do all men, unless th’ are drunk, sick, or have no legs.

Alexander

21 - 31
  1. This man, lady, hath robb’d many beasts of their particular
  2. additions: he is as valiant as the lion, churlish as the
  3. bear, slow as the elephant; a man into whom nature hath so
  4. crowded humors that his valor is crush’d into folly, his
  5. folly sauc’d with discretion. There is no man hath a virtue
  6. that he hath not a glimpse of, nor any man an attaint but he
  7. carries some stain of it. He is melancholy without cause,
  8. and merry against the hair; he hath the joints of every
  9. thing, but every thing so out of joint that he is a gouty
  10. Briareus, many hands and no use, or purblind Argus, all eyes
  11. and no sight.

Cressida

32 - 33
  1. But how should this man, that makes me smile, make Hector
  2. angry?

Alexander

34 - 36
  1. They say he yesterday cop’d Hector in the battle and struck
  2. him down, the disdain and shame whereof hath ever since kept
  3. Hector fasting and waking.
  1. Enter Pandarus.

Cressida

37
  1. Who comes here?

Alexander

38
  1. Madam, your uncle Pandarus.

Cressida

39
  1. Hector’s a gallant man.

Alexander

40
  1. As may be in the world, lady.

Pandarus

41
  1. What’s that? What’s that?

Cressida

42
  1. Good morrow, uncle Pandarus.

Pandarus

43 - 45
  1. Good morrow, cousin Cressid. What do you talk of? Good
  2. morrow, Alexander. How do you, cousin? When were you at
  3. Ilium?

Cressida

46
  1. This morning, uncle.

Pandarus

47 - 48
  1. What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector arm’d and
  2. gone ere ye came to Ilium? Helen was not up, was she?

Cressida

49
  1. Hector was gone, but Helen was not up.

Pandarus

50
  1. E’en so; Hector was stirring early.

Cressida

51
  1. That were we talking of, and of his anger.

Pandarus

52
  1. Was he angry?

Cressida

53
  1. So he says here.

Pandarus

54 - 57
  1. True, he was so; I know the cause too. He’ll lay about him
  2. today, I can tell them that, and there’s Troilus will not
  3. come far behind him. Let them take heed of Troilus; I can
  4. tell them that too.

Cressida

58
  1. What, is he angry too?

Pandarus

59
  1. Who, Troilus? Troilus is the better man of the two.

Cressida

60
  1. O Jupiter, there’s no comparison.

Pandarus

61 - 62
  1. What, not between Troilus and Hector? Do you know a man if
  2. you see him?

Cressida

63
  1. Ay, if I ever saw him before and knew him.

Pandarus

64
  1. Well, I say Troilus is Troilus.

Cressida

65
  1. Then you say as I say, for I am sure he is not Hector.

Pandarus

66
  1. No, nor Hector is not Troilus in some degrees.

Cressida

67
  1. ’Tis just to each of them; he is himself.

Pandarus

68
  1. Himself? Alas, poor Troilus, I would he were!

Cressida

69
  1. So he is.

Pandarus

70
  1. Condition I had gone barefoot to India.

Cressida

71
  1. He is not Hector.

Pandarus

72 - 75
  1. Himself? No! He’s not himself. Would ’a were himself! Well,
  2. the gods are above, time must friend or end. Well, Troilus,
  3. well, I would my heart were in her body. No, Hector is not a
  4. better man than Troilus.

Cressida

76
  1. Excuse me.

Pandarus

77
  1. He is elder.

Cressida

78
  1. Pardon me, pardon me.

Pandarus

79 - 81
  1. Th’ other’s not come to’t. You shall tell me another tale
  2. when th’ other’s come to’t. Hector shall not have his wit
  3. this year.

Cressida

82
  1. He shall not need it if he have his own.

Pandarus

83
  1. Nor his qualities.

Cressida

84
  1. No matter.

Pandarus

85
  1. Nor his beauty.

Cressida

86
  1. ’Twould not become him, his own’s better.

Pandarus

87 - 89
  1. You have no judgment, niece. Helen herself swore th’ other
  2. day that Troilus, for a brown favor (for so ’tis, I must
  3. confess)—not brown neither

Cressida

90
  1. No, but brown.

Pandarus

91
  1. Faith, to say truth, brown and not brown.

Cressida

92
  1. To say the truth, true and not true.

Pandarus

93
  1. She prais’d his complexion above Paris.

Cressida

94
  1. Why, Paris hath color enough.

Pandarus

95
  1. So he has.

Cressida

96 - 100
  1. Then Troilus should have too much: if she prais’d him above,
  2. his complexion is higher than his. He having color enough,
  3. and the other higher, is too flaming a praise for a good
  4. complexion. I had as lief Helen’s golden tongue had
  5. commended Troilus for a copper nose.

Pandarus

101
  1. I swear to you, I think Helen loves him better than Paris.

Cressida

102
  1. Then she’s a merry Greek indeed.

Pandarus

103 - 105
  1. Nay, I am sure she does. She came to him th’ other day into
  2. the compass’d windowand you know he has not past three or
  3. four hairs on his chin

Cressida

106 - 107
  1. Indeed a tapster’s arithmetic may soon bring his particulars
  2. therein to a total.

Pandarus

108 - 109
  1. Why, he is very young, and yet will he, within three pound,
  2. lift as much as his brother Hector.

Cressida

110
  1. Is he so young a man and so old a lifter?

Pandarus

111 - 112
  1. But to prove to you that Helen loves him: she came and puts
  2. me her white hand to his cloven chin

Cressida

113
  1. Juno have mercy! How came it cloven?

Pandarus

114 - 115
  1. Why, you know ’tis dimpled. I think his smiling becomes him
  2. better than any man in all Phrygia.

Cressida

116
  1. O, he smiles valiantly.

Pandarus

117
  1. Does he not?

Cressida

118
  1. O yes, and ’twere a cloud in autumn.

Pandarus

119 - 120
  1. Why, go to then. But to prove to you that Helen loves
  2. Troilus

Cressida

121
  1. Troilus will stand to the proof, if you’ll prove it so.

Pandarus

122 - 123
  1. Troilus! Why, he esteems her no more than I esteem an addle
  2. egg.

Cressida

124 - 125
  1. If you love an addle egg as well as you love an idle head,
  2. you would eat chickens i’ th’ shell.

Pandarus

126 - 127
  1. I cannot choose but laugh to think how she tickled his chin.
  2. Indeed she has a marvel’s white hand, I must needs confess.

Cressida

128
  1. Without the rack.

Pandarus

129
  1. And she takes upon her to spy a white hair on his chin.

Cressida

130
  1. Alas, poor chin! Many a wart is richer.

Pandarus

131 - 132
  1. But there was such laughing! Queen Hecuba laugh’d that her
  2. eyes ran o’er.

Cressida

133
  1. With millstones.

Pandarus

134
  1. And Cassandra laugh’d.

Cressida

135 - 136
  1. But there was a more temperate fire under the pot of her
  2. eyes. Did her eyes run o’er too?

Pandarus

137
  1. And Hector laugh’d.

Cressida

138
  1. At what was all this laughing?

Pandarus

139
  1. Marry, at the white hair that Helen spied on Troilus’ chin.

Cressida

140
  1. And’t had been a green hair, I should have laugh’d too.

Pandarus

141 - 142
  1. They laugh’d not so much at the hair as at his pretty
  2. answer.

Cressida

143
  1. What was his answer?

Pandarus

144 - 145
  1. Quoth she, Here’s but two and fifty hairs on your chinand
  2. one of them is white.”

Cressida

146
  1. This is her question.

Pandarus

147 - 153
  1. That’s true, make no question of that. Two and fifty
  2. hairs,” quoth he, and one white. That white hair is my
  3. father, and all the rest are his sons.” Jupiter,” quoth
  4. she, which of these hairs is Paris my husband?” The fork’d
  5. one,” quoth he, pluck’t out, and give it him.” But there
  6. was such laughing! And Helen so blush’d, and Paris so
  7. chaf’d, and all the rest so laugh’d, that it pass’d.

Cressida

154
  1. So let it now, for it has been a great while going by.

Pandarus

155
  1. Well, cousin, I told you a thing yesterday, think on’t.

Cressida

156
  1. So I do.

Pandarus

157 - 158
  1. I’ll be sworn ’tis true; he will weep you an’ ’twere a man
  2. born in April.
  1. Sound a retreat.

Cressida

159 - 160
  1. And I’ll spring up in his tears an’ ’twere a nettle against
  2. May.

Pandarus

161 - 163
  1. Hark, they are coming from the field. Shall we stand up here
  2. and see them as they pass toward Ilion? Good niece, do,
  3. sweet niece Cressida.

Cressida

164
  1. At your pleasure.

Pandarus

165 - 167
  1. Here, here, here’s an excellent place, here we may see most
  2. bravely. I’ll tell you them all by their names as they pass
  3. by, but mark Troilus above the rest.
  1. Enter Aeneas and passes over the stage.

Cressida

168
  1. Speak not so loud.

Pandarus

169 - 171
  1. That’s Aeneas; is not that a brave man? He’s one of the
  2. flowers of Troy, I can tell you. But mark Troilus; you shall
  3. see anon.

Cressida

172
  1. Who’s that?
  1. Enter Antenor and passes over the stage.

Pandarus

173 - 177
  1. That’s Antenor. He has a shrewd wit, I can tell you, and
  2. he’s man good enough. He’s one o’ th’ soundest judgements in
  3. Troy, whosoever, and a proper man of person. When comes
  4. Troilus? I’ll show you Troilus anon. If he see me, you shall
  5. see him nod at me.

Cressida

178
  1. Will he give you the nod?

Pandarus

179
  1. You shall see.

Cressida

180
  1. If he do, the rich shall have more.
  1. Enter Hector and passes over the stage.

Pandarus

181 - 184
  1. That’s Hector, that, that, look you, that; there’s a fellow!
  2. Go thy way. Hector! There’s a brave man, niece. O brave
  3. Hector! Look how he looks! There’s a countenance! Is’t not a
  4. brave man?

Cressida

185
  1. O, a brave man!

Pandarus

186 - 189
  1. Is ’a not? It does a man’s heart good. Look you what hacks
  2. are on his helmet! Look you yonder, do you see? Look you
  3. there, there’s no jesting; there’s laying on, take’t off who
  4. will, as they say. There be hacks!

Cressida

190
  1. Be those with swords?

Pandarus

191 - 197
  1. Swords! Any thing, he cares not; and the devil come to him,
  2. it’s all one. By God’s lid, it does one’s heart good. Yonder
  3. comes Paris, yonder comes Paris.
  4. Enter Paris and passes over the stage.
  5. Look ye yonder, niece; is’t not a gallant man too, is’t not?
  6. Why, this is brave now. Who said he came hurt home today?
  7. He’s not hurt. Why, this will do Helen’s heart good now, ha?
  8. Would I could see Troilus now! You shall see Troilus anon.

Cressida

198
  1. Who’s that?
  1. Enter Helenus and passes over the stage.

Pandarus

199 - 200
  1. That’s Helenus. I marvel where Troilus is. That’s Helenus. I
  2. think he went not forth today. That’s Helenus.

Cressida

201
  1. Can Helenus fight, uncle?

Pandarus

202 - 204
  1. Helenus? No. Yes, he’ll fight indifferent well. I marvel
  2. where Troilus is. Hark, do you not hear the people cry
  3. Troilus”? Helenus is a priest.

Cressida

205
  1. What sneaking fellow comes yonder?
  1. Enter Troilus and passes over the stage.

Pandarus

206 - 207
  1. Where? Yonder? That’s Deiphobus. ’Tis Troilus! There’s a
  2. man, niece! Hem! Brave Troilus, the prince of chivalry!

Cressida

208
  1. Peace, for shame, peace!

Pandarus

209 - 216
  1. Mark him, note him. O brave Troilus! Look well upon him,
  2. niece. Look you how his sword is bloodied, and his helm more
  3. hack’d than Hector’s, and how he looks, and how he goes! O
  4. admirable youth! He never saw three and twenty. Go thy way,
  5. Troilus, go thy way! Had I a sister were a grace, or a
  6. daughter a goddess, he should take his choice. O admirable
  7. man! Paris? Paris is dirt to him, and I warrant Helen, to
  8. change, would give an eye to boot.
  1. Enter Trojan Soldiers and pass over the stage.

Cressida

217
  1. Here comes more.

Pandarus

218 - 222
  1. Asses, fools, dolts! Chaff and bran, chaff and bran!
  2. Porridge after meat! I could live and die in the eyes of
  3. Troilus. Ne’er look, ne’er look, the eagles are gone; crows
  4. and daws, crows and daws! I had rather be such a man as
  5. Troilus than Agamemnon and all Greece.

Cressida

223 - 224
  1. There is amongst the Greeks Achilles, a better man than
  2. Troilus.

Pandarus

225
  1. Achilles! A drayman, a porter, a very camel.

Cressida

226
  1. Well, well,

Pandarus

227 - 231
  1. Well, well! Why, have you any discretion? Have you any eyes?
  2. Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good shape,
  3. discourse, manhood, learning, gentleness, virtue, youth,
  4. liberality, and suchlike, the spice and salt that season a
  5. man?

Cressida

232 - 233
  1. Ay, a minc’d man, and then to be bak’d with no date in the
  2. pie, for then the man’s date is out.

Pandarus

234
  1. You are such a woman, a man knows not at what ward you lie.

Cressida

235 - 238
  1. Upon my back, to defend my belly, upon my wit, to defend my
  2. wiles, upon my secrecy, to defend mine honesty, my mask, to
  3. defend my beauty, and you, to defend all these; and at all
  4. these wards I lie, at a thousand watches.

Pandarus

239
  1. Say one of your watches.

Cressida

240 - 243
  1. Nay, I’ll watch you for that; and that’s one of the chiefest
  2. of them too. If I cannot ward what I would not have hit, I
  3. can watch you for telling how I took the blowunless it
  4. swell past hiding, and then it’s past watching.

Pandarus

244
  1. You are such another!
  1. Enter Troilus’ Boy.

Troilus’s Boy

245
  1. Sir, my lord would instantly speak with you.

Pandarus

246
  1. Where?

Troilus’s Boy

247
  1. At your own house, there he unarms him.

Pandarus

248 - 249
  1. Good boy, tell him I come.
  2. Exit Troilus’s Boy.
  3. I doubt he be hurt. Fare ye well, good niece.

Cressida

250
  1. Adieu, uncle.

Pandarus

251
  1. I will be with you, niece, by and by.

Cressida

252
  1. To bring, uncle?

Pandarus

253
  1. Ay, a token from Troilus.

Cressida

254 - 268
  1. By the same token, you are a bawd.
  2. Exit Pandarus.
  3. Words, vows, gifts, tears, and love’s full sacrifice,
  4. He offers in another’s enterprise,
  5. But more in Troilus thousandfold I see
  6. Than in the glass of Pandar’s praise may be;
  7. Yet hold I off. Women are angels, wooing:
  8. Things won are done, joy’s soul lies in the doing.
  9. That she belov’d knows nought that knows not this:
  10. Men prize the thing ungain’d more than it is.
  11. That she was never yet that ever knew
  12. Love got so sweet as when desire did sue.
  13. Therefore this maxim out of love I teach:
  14. Achievement is command; ungain’d, beseech;
  15. Then though my heart’s content firm love doth bear,
  16. Nothing of that shall from mine eyes appear.
  1. Exit with Alexander.
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