Romeo and Juliet
Act II, Scene 4
Verona. A street.
- Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.
 
Mercutio
1 - 2- Where the dev’l should this Romeo be?
 - Came he not home tonight?
 
Benvolio
3- Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.
 
Mercutio
4 - 5- Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
 - Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.
 
Benvolio
6 - 7- Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
 - Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.
 
Mercutio
8- A challenge, on my life.
 
Benvolio
9- Romeo will answer it.
 
Mercutio
10- Any man that can write may answer a letter.
 
Benvolio
11 - 12- Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being
 - dar’d.
 
Mercutio
13 - 16- Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabb’d with a white
 - wench’s black eye, run through the ear with a love-song, the
 - very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s
 - butt-shaft; and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?
 
Benvolio
17- Why, what is Tybalt?
 
Mercutio
18 - 24- More than Prince of Cats. O, he’s the courageous captain of
 - compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time,
 - distance, and proportion; he rests his minim rests, one,
 - two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk
 - button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very
 - first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
 - passado, the punto reverso, the hay!
 
Benvolio
25- The what?
 
Mercutio
26 - 33- The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting phantasimes, these
 - new tuners of accent! “By Jesu, a very good blade! A very
 - tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable
 - thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with
 - these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these
 - pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form, that they
 - cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O, their bones, their
 - bones!
 
- Enter Romeo.
 
Benvolio
34- Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
 
Mercutio
35 - 42- Without his roe, like a dried herring: O flesh, flesh, how
 - art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch
 - flow’d in. Laura to his lady was a kitchen wench (marry, she
 - had a better love to berhyme her), Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a
 - gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisby a grey
 - eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour!
 - There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us
 - the counterfeit fairly last night.
 
Romeo
43- Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?
 
Mercutio
44- The slip, sir, the slip, can you not conceive?
 
Romeo
45 - 46- Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a
 - case as mine a man may strain courtesy.
 
Mercutio
47 - 48- That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a
 - man to bow in the hams.
 
Romeo
49- Meaning to cur’sy.
 
Mercutio
50- Thou hast most kindly hit it.
 
Romeo
51- A most courteous exposition.
 
Mercutio
52- Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.
 
Romeo
53- Pink for flower.
 
Mercutio
54- Right.
 
Romeo
55- Why then is my pump well flower’d.
 
Mercutio
56 - 58- Sure wit! Follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out
 - thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest
 - may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.
 
Romeo
59- O single-sol’d jest, solely singular for the singleness!
 
Mercutio
60- Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faints.
 
Romeo
61- Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.
 
Mercutio
62 - 65- Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done; for
 - thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I
 - am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for
 - the goose?
 
Romeo
66 - 67- Thou wast never with me for any thing when thou wast not
 - there for the goose.
 
Mercutio
68- I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.
 
Romeo
69- Nay, good goose, bite not.
 
Mercutio
70- Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.
 
Romeo
71- And is it not then well serv’d in to a sweet goose?
 
Mercutio
72 - 73- O, here’s a wit of cheverel, that stretches from an inch
 - narrow to an ell broad!
 
Romeo
74 - 75- I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which, added to the
 - goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.
 
Mercutio
76 - 80- Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art
 - thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou
 - art, by art as well as by nature, for this drivelling love
 - is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to
 - hide his bable in a hole.
 
Benvolio
81- Stop there, stop there.
 
Mercutio
82- Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.
 
Benvolio
83- Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.
 
Mercutio
84 - 86- O, thou art deceiv’d; I would have made it short, for I was
 - come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to
 - occupy the argument no longer.
 
Romeo
87 - 88- Here’s goodly gear!
 - Enter Nurse and her man, Peter.
 - A sail, a sail!
 
Mercutio
89- Two, two: a shirt and a smock.
 
Nurse
90- Peter!
 
Peter
91- Anon!
 
Nurse
92- My fan, Peter.
 
Mercutio
93- Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.
 
Nurse
94- God ye good morrow, gentlemen.
 
Mercutio
95- God ye good den, fair gentlewoman.
 
Nurse
96- Is it good den?
 
Mercutio
97 - 98- ’Tis no less, I tell ye, for the bawdy hand of the dial is
 - now upon the prick of noon.
 
Nurse
99- Out upon you, what a man are you?
 
Romeo
100- One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.
 
Nurse
101 - 103- By my troth, it is well said; “for himself to mar,” quoth
 - ’a! Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the
 - young Romeo?
 
Romeo
104 - 106- I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have
 - found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest
 - of that name, for fault of a worse.
 
Nurse
107- You say well.
 
Mercutio
108 - 109- Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’ faith, wisely,
 - wisely.
 
Nurse
110- If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.
 
Benvolio
111- She will indite him to some supper.
 
Mercutio
112- A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!
 
Romeo
113- What hast thou found?
 
Mercutio
114 - 123- No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is
 - something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
 - He walks by them and sings.
 - An old hare hoar,
 - And an old hare hoar,
 - Is very good meat in Lent;
 - But a hare that is hoar
 - Is too much for a score,
 - When it hoars ere it be spent.
 - Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner
 - thither.
 
Romeo
124- I will follow you.
 
Mercutio
125 - 126- Farewell, ancient lady, farewell,
 - Singing.
 - “lady, lady, lady.”
 
- Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio.
 
Nurse
127 - 128- I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this, that was so
 - full of his ropery?
 
Romeo
129 - 131- A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and
 - will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a
 - month.
 
Nurse
132 - 137- And ’a speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, and
 - ’a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I
 - cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave, I am none
 - of his flirt-gills, I am none of his skains-mates.
 - She turns to Peter, her man.
 - And thou must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me
 - at his pleasure!
 
Peter
138 - 141- I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon
 - should quickly have been out. I warrant you, I dare draw as
 - soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel,
 - and the law on my side.
 
Nurse
142 - 150- Now, afore God, I am so vex’d that every part about me
 - quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told
 - you, my young lady bid me inquire you out; what she bid me
 - say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye
 - should lead her in a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a
 - very gross kind of behavior, as they say; for the
 - gentlewoman is young; and therefore, if you should deal
 - double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be off’red to
 - any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.
 
Romeo
151 - 152- Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto
 - thee—
 
Nurse
153 - 154- Good heart, and, i’ faith, I will tell her as much. Lord,
 - Lord, she will be a joyful woman.
 
Romeo
155- What wilt thou tell her, nurse? Thou dost not mark me.
 
Nurse
156 - 157- I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take
 - it, is a gentleman-like offer.
 
Romeo
158 - 161- Bid her devise
 - Some means to come to shrift this afternoon,
 - And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’ cell
 - Be shriv’d and married. Here is for thy pains.
 
Nurse
162- No, truly, sir, not a penny.
 
Romeo
163- Go to, I say you shall.
 
Nurse
164- This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.
 
Romeo
165 - 171- And stay, good nurse—behind the abbey wall
 - Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
 - And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
 - Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
 - Must be my convoy in the secret night.
 - Farewell, be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
 - Farewell, commend me to thy mistress.
 
Nurse
172- Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.
 
Romeo
173- What say’st thou, my dear nurse?
 
Nurse
174 - 175- Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say,
 - “Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?
 
Romeo
176- ’Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.
 
Nurse
177 - 184- Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady—Lord, Lord! When
 - ’twas a little prating thing—O, there is a nobleman in town,
 - one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good
 - soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I
 - anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer
 - man, but I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale
 - as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and
 - Romeo begin both with a letter?
 
Romeo
185- Ay, nurse, what of that? Both with an R.
 
Nurse
186 - 189- Ah, mocker, that’s the dog’s name. R is for the—no, I know
 - it begins with some other letter—and she hath the prettiest
 - sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you
 - good to hear it.
 
Romeo
190- Commend me to thy lady.
 
Nurse
191 - 192- Ay, a thousand times.
 - Exit Romeo.
 - Peter!
 
Peter
193- Anon!
 
Nurse
194- Handing him her fan.
 - Before, and apace.
 
- Exit after Peter.
 


 
  



