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Romeo and Juliet: Act II, Scene 4

Romeo and Juliet
Act II, Scene 4

Verona. A street.

  1. Enter Benvolio and Mercutio.

Mercutio

1 - 2
  1. Where the dev’l should this Romeo be?
  2. Came he not home tonight?

Benvolio

3
  1. Not to his father’s, I spoke with his man.

Mercutio

4 - 5
  1. Why, that same pale hard-hearted wench, that Rosaline,
  2. Torments him so, that he will sure run mad.

Benvolio

6 - 7
  1. Tybalt, the kinsman to old Capulet,
  2. Hath sent a letter to his father’s house.

Mercutio

8
  1. A challenge, on my life.

Benvolio

9
  1. Romeo will answer it.

Mercutio

10
  1. Any man that can write may answer a letter.

Benvolio

11 - 12
  1. Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how he dares, being
  2. dar’d.

Mercutio

13 - 16
  1. Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead, stabb’d with a white
  2. wench’s black eye, run through the ear with a love-song, the
  3. very pin of his heart cleft with the blind bow-boy’s
  4. butt-shaft; and is he a man to encounter Tybalt?

Benvolio

17
  1. Why, what is Tybalt?

Mercutio

18 - 24
  1. More than Prince of Cats. O, he’s the courageous captain of
  2. compliments. He fights as you sing prick-song, keeps time,
  3. distance, and proportion; he rests his minim rests, one,
  4. two, and the third in your bosom: the very butcher of a silk
  5. button, a duellist, a duellist; a gentleman of the very
  6. first house, of the first and second cause. Ah, the immortal
  7. passado, the punto reverso, the hay!

Benvolio

25
  1. The what?

Mercutio

26 - 33
  1. The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting phantasimes, these
  2. new tuners of accent! By Jesu, a very good blade! A very
  3. tall man! A very good whore!” Why, is not this a lamentable
  4. thing, grandsire, that we should be thus afflicted with
  5. these strange flies, these fashion-mongers, these
  6. pardon-me’s, who stand so much on the new form, that they
  7. cannot sit at ease on the old bench? O, their bones, their
  8. bones!
  1. Enter Romeo.

Benvolio

34
  1. Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.

Mercutio

35 - 42
  1. Without his roe, like a dried herring: O flesh, flesh, how
  2. art thou fishified! Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch
  3. flow’d in. Laura to his lady was a kitchen wench (marry, she
  4. had a better love to berhyme her), Dido a dowdy, Cleopatra a
  5. gypsy, Helen and Hero hildings and harlots, Thisby a grey
  6. eye or so, but not to the purpose. Signior Romeo, bonjour!
  7. There’s a French salutation to your French slop. You gave us
  8. the counterfeit fairly last night.

Romeo

43
  1. Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?

Mercutio

44
  1. The slip, sir, the slip, can you not conceive?

Romeo

45 - 46
  1. Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a
  2. case as mine a man may strain courtesy.

Mercutio

47 - 48
  1. That’s as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a
  2. man to bow in the hams.

Romeo

49
  1. Meaning to cur’sy.

Mercutio

50
  1. Thou hast most kindly hit it.

Romeo

51
  1. A most courteous exposition.

Mercutio

52
  1. Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy.

Romeo

53
  1. Pink for flower.

Mercutio

54
  1. Right.

Romeo

55
  1. Why then is my pump well flower’d.

Mercutio

56 - 58
  1. Sure wit! Follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out
  2. thy pump, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest
  3. may remain, after the wearing, solely singular.

Romeo

59
  1. O single-sol’d jest, solely singular for the singleness!

Mercutio

60
  1. Come between us, good Benvolio, my wits faints.

Romeo

61
  1. Swits and spurs, swits and spurs, or I’ll cry a match.

Mercutio

62 - 65
  1. Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I am done; for
  2. thou hast more of the wild goose in one of thy wits than, I
  3. am sure, I have in my whole five. Was I with you there for
  4. the goose?

Romeo

66 - 67
  1. Thou wast never with me for any thing when thou wast not
  2. there for the goose.

Mercutio

68
  1. I will bite thee by the ear for that jest.

Romeo

69
  1. Nay, good goose, bite not.

Mercutio

70
  1. Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting, it is a most sharp sauce.

Romeo

71
  1. And is it not then well serv’d in to a sweet goose?

Mercutio

72 - 73
  1. O, here’s a wit of cheverel, that stretches from an inch
  2. narrow to an ell broad!

Romeo

74 - 75
  1. I stretch it out for that word broad,” which, added to the
  2. goose, proves thee far and wide a broad goose.

Mercutio

76 - 80
  1. Why, is not this better now than groaning for love? Now art
  2. thou sociable, now art thou Romeo; now art thou what thou
  3. art, by art as well as by nature, for this drivelling love
  4. is like a great natural that runs lolling up and down to
  5. hide his bable in a hole.

Benvolio

81
  1. Stop there, stop there.

Mercutio

82
  1. Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against the hair.

Benvolio

83
  1. Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large.

Mercutio

84 - 86
  1. O, thou art deceiv’d; I would have made it short, for I was
  2. come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to
  3. occupy the argument no longer.

Romeo

87 - 88
  1. Here’s goodly gear!
  2. Enter Nurse and her man, Peter.
  3. A sail, a sail!

Mercutio

89
  1. Two, two: a shirt and a smock.

Nurse

90
  1. Peter!

Peter

91
  1. Anon!

Nurse

92
  1. My fan, Peter.

Mercutio

93
  1. Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s the fairer face.

Nurse

94
  1. God ye good morrow, gentlemen.

Mercutio

95
  1. God ye good den, fair gentlewoman.

Nurse

96
  1. Is it good den?

Mercutio

97 - 98
  1. ’Tis no less, I tell ye, for the bawdy hand of the dial is
  2. now upon the prick of noon.

Nurse

99
  1. Out upon you, what a man are you?

Romeo

100
  1. One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself to mar.

Nurse

101 - 103
  1. By my troth, it is well said; for himself to mar,” quoth
  2. ’a! Gentlemen, can any of you tell me where I may find the
  3. young Romeo?

Romeo

104 - 106
  1. I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older when you have
  2. found him than he was when you sought him. I am the youngest
  3. of that name, for fault of a worse.

Nurse

107
  1. You say well.

Mercutio

108 - 109
  1. Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’ faith, wisely,
  2. wisely.

Nurse

110
  1. If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with you.

Benvolio

111
  1. She will indite him to some supper.

Mercutio

112
  1. A bawd, a bawd, a bawd! So ho!

Romeo

113
  1. What hast thou found?

Mercutio

114 - 123
  1. No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a lenten pie, that is
  2. something stale and hoar ere it be spent.
  3. He walks by them and sings.
  4. An old hare hoar,
  5. And an old hare hoar,
  6. Is very good meat in Lent;
  7. But a hare that is hoar
  8. Is too much for a score,
  9. When it hoars ere it be spent.
  10. Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to dinner
  11. thither.

Romeo

124
  1. I will follow you.

Mercutio

125 - 126
  1. Farewell, ancient lady, farewell,
  2. Singing.
  3. lady, lady, lady.”
  1. Exeunt Mercutio and Benvolio.

Nurse

127 - 128
  1. I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this, that was so
  2. full of his ropery?

Romeo

129 - 131
  1. A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself talk, and
  2. will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a
  3. month.

Nurse

132 - 137
  1. And ’a speak any thing against me, I’ll take him down, and
  2. ’a were lustier than he is, and twenty such Jacks; and if I
  3. cannot, I’ll find those that shall. Scurvy knave, I am none
  4. of his flirt-gills, I am none of his skains-mates.
  5. She turns to Peter, her man.
  6. And thou must stand by too and suffer every knave to use me
  7. at his pleasure!

Peter

138 - 141
  1. I saw no man use you at his pleasure; if I had, my weapon
  2. should quickly have been out. I warrant you, I dare draw as
  3. soon as another man, if I see occasion in a good quarrel,
  4. and the law on my side.

Nurse

142 - 150
  1. Now, afore God, I am so vex’d that every part about me
  2. quivers. Scurvy knave! Pray you, sir, a word: and as I told
  3. you, my young lady bid me inquire you out; what she bid me
  4. say, I will keep to myself. But first let me tell ye, if ye
  5. should lead her in a fool’s paradise, as they say, it were a
  6. very gross kind of behavior, as they say; for the
  7. gentlewoman is young; and therefore, if you should deal
  8. double with her, truly it were an ill thing to be off’red to
  9. any gentlewoman, and very weak dealing.

Romeo

151 - 152
  1. Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. I protest unto
  2. thee

Nurse

153 - 154
  1. Good heart, and, i’ faith, I will tell her as much. Lord,
  2. Lord, she will be a joyful woman.

Romeo

155
  1. What wilt thou tell her, nurse? Thou dost not mark me.

Nurse

156 - 157
  1. I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as I take
  2. it, is a gentleman-like offer.

Romeo

158 - 161
  1. Bid her devise
  2. Some means to come to shrift this afternoon,
  3. And there she shall at Friar Lawrence’ cell
  4. Be shriv’d and married. Here is for thy pains.

Nurse

162
  1. No, truly, sir, not a penny.

Romeo

163
  1. Go to, I say you shall.

Nurse

164
  1. This afternoon, sir? Well, she shall be there.

Romeo

165 - 171
  1. And stay, good nursebehind the abbey wall
  2. Within this hour my man shall be with thee,
  3. And bring thee cords made like a tackled stair,
  4. Which to the high top-gallant of my joy
  5. Must be my convoy in the secret night.
  6. Farewell, be trusty, and I’ll quit thy pains.
  7. Farewell, commend me to thy mistress.

Nurse

172
  1. Now God in heaven bless thee! Hark you, sir.

Romeo

173
  1. What say’st thou, my dear nurse?

Nurse

174 - 175
  1. Is your man secret? Did you ne’er hear say,
  2. Two may keep counsel, putting one away”?

Romeo

176
  1. ’Warrant thee, my man’s as true as steel.

Nurse

177 - 184
  1. Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest ladyLord, Lord! When
  2. ’twas a little prating thingO, there is a nobleman in town,
  3. one Paris, that would fain lay knife aboard; but she, good
  4. soul, had as lief see a toad, a very toad, as see him. I
  5. anger her sometimes and tell her that Paris is the properer
  6. man, but I’ll warrant you, when I say so, she looks as pale
  7. as any clout in the versal world. Doth not rosemary and
  8. Romeo begin both with a letter?

Romeo

185
  1. Ay, nurse, what of that? Both with an R.

Nurse

186 - 189
  1. Ah, mocker, that’s the dog’s name. R is for theno, I know
  2. it begins with some other letterand she hath the prettiest
  3. sententious of it, of you and rosemary, that it would do you
  4. good to hear it.

Romeo

190
  1. Commend me to thy lady.

Nurse

191 - 192
  1. Ay, a thousand times.
  2. Exit Romeo.
  3. Peter!

Peter

193
  1. Anon!

Nurse

194
  1. Handing him her fan.
  2. Before, and apace.
  1. Exit after Peter.
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