Two Noble Kinsmen
Act 5, Scene 2
A darkened room in the prison.
- Enter Doctor, Jailer, and Wooer in habit of Palamon.
- Has this advice I told you done any good upon her?
Wooer3 - 7
- O, very much; the maids that kept her company
- Have half persuaded her that I am Palamon.
- Within this half hour she came smiling to me,
- And ask’d me what I would eat, and when I would kiss her.
- I told her, presently, and kiss’d her twice.
Doctor8 - 9
- ’Twas well done. Twenty times had been far better,
- For there the cure lies mainly.
Wooer10 - 12
- Then she told me
- She would watch with me tonight, for well she knew
- What hour my fit would take me.
Doctor13 - 14
- Let her do so,
- And when your fit comes, fit her home, and presently.
- She would have me sing.
- You did so?
Doctor18 - 19
- ’Twas very ill done then.
- You should observe her ev’ry way.
Wooer20 - 21
- I have no voice, sir, to confirm her that way.
Doctor22 - 24
- That’s all one, if ye make a noise.
- If she entreat again, do any thing,
- Lie with her, if she ask you.
- Ho there, doctor!
- Yes, in the way of cure.
Jailer27 - 28
- But first, by your leave,
- I’ th’ way of honesty.
Doctor29 - 32
- That’s but a niceness.
- Nev’r cast your child away for honesty.
- Cure her first this way; then if she will be honest,
- She has the path before her.
- Thank ye, doctor.
Doctor34 - 35
- Pray bring her in
- And let’s see how she is.
Jailer36 - 38
- I will, and tell her
- Her Palamon stays for her; but, doctor,
- Methinks you are i’ th’ wrong still.
- Exit Jailer.
Doctor40 - 42
- Go, go!
- You fathers are fine fools. Her honesty!
- And we should give her physic till we find that—
- Why, do you think she is not honest, sir?
- How old is she?
- She’s eighteen.
Doctor46 - 50
- She may be,
- But that’s all one, ’tis nothing to our purpose.
- What e’er her father says, if you perceive
- Her mood inclining that way that I spoke of,
- Videlicet, the way of flesh—you have me?
- Yet very well, sir.
Doctor52 - 54
- Please her appetite,
- And do it home; it cures her ipso facto
- The melancholy humor that infects her.
- I am of your mind, doctor.
- Enter Jailer, Daughter, Maid.
- You’ll find it so. She comes. Pray humor her.
- Wooer retires.
Jailer59 - 60
- Come, your love Palamon stays for you, child,
- And has done this long hour, to visit you.
Daughter61 - 63
- I thank him for his gentle patience,
- He’s a kind gentleman, and I am much bound to him.
- Did you nev’r see the horse he gave me?
- How do you like him?
- He’s a very fair one.
- You never saw him dance?
Daughter69 - 72
- I have often.
- He dances very finely, very comely,
- And for a jig, come cut and long tail to him,
- He turns ye like a top.
- That’s fine indeed.
Daughter74 - 78
- He’ll dance the morris twenty mile an hour,
- And that will founder the best hobby-horse
- (If I have any skill) in all the parish,
- And gallops to the tune of “Light a’ love.”
- What think you of this horse?
Jailer79 - 80
- Having these virtues,
- I think he might be brought to play at tennis.
- Alas, that’s nothing.
- Can he write and read too?
Daughter83 - 86
- A very fair hand, and casts himself th’ accounts
- Of all his hay and provender. That hostler
- Must rise betime that cozens him. You know
- The chestnut mare the Duke has?
- Very well.
Daughter88 - 89
- She is horribly in love with him, poor beast,
- But he is like his master, coy and scornful.
- What dowry has she?
Daughter91 - 94
- Some two hundred bottles,
- And twenty strike of oats, but he’ll ne’er have her.
- He lisps in ’s neighing able to entice
- A miller’s mare, he’ll be the death of her.
- What stuff she utters!
- Make curtsy, here your love comes.
- Wooer comes forward.
Wooer98 - 99
- Pretty soul,
- How do ye? That’s a fine maid! There’s a curtsy!
Daughter100 - 101
- Yours to command i’ th’ way of honesty.
- How far is’t now to th’ end o’ th’ world, my masters?
- Why, a day’s journey, wench.
- Will you go with me?
- What shall we do there, wench?
Daughter105 - 106
- Why, play at stoolball:
- What is there else to do?
Wooer107 - 108
- I am content,
- If we shall keep our wedding there.
Daughter109 - 115
- ’Tis true,
- For there, I will assure you, we shall find
- Some blind priest for the purpose that will venture
- To marry us, for here they are nice and foolish.
- Besides, my father must be hang’d tomorrow,
- And that would be a blot i’ th’ business.
- Are not you Palamon?
- Do not you know me?
Daughter117 - 118
- Yes, but you care not for me. I have nothing
- But this poor petticoat and two coarse smocks.
- That’s all one, I will have you.
- Will you surely?
- Yes, by this fair hand, will I.
- We’ll to bed then.
- Ev’n when you will.
- Kisses her.
- O, sir, you would fain be nibbling.
- Why do you rub my kiss off?
Daughter127 - 129
- ’Tis a sweet one,
- And will perfume me finely against the wedding.
- Is not this your cousin Arcite?
Doctor130 - 132
- Yes, sweet heart,
- And I am glad my cousin Palamon
- Has made so fair a choice.
- Do you think he’ll have me?
- Yes, without doubt.
- Do you think so too?
Daughter137 - 141
- We shall have many children.—Lord, how y’ are grown!
- My Palamon I hope will grow too, finely,
- Now he’s at liberty. Alas, poor chicken,
- He was kept down with hard meat and ill lodging,
- But I’ll kiss him up again.
- Enter First Messenger.
First Messenger143 - 144
- What do you here? You’ll lose the noblest sight
- That ev’r was seen.
- Are they i’ th’ field?
First Messenger146 - 147
- They are.
- You bear a charge there too.
Jailer148 - 149
- I’ll away straight.
- I must ev’n leave you here.
Doctor150 - 151
- Nay, we’ll go with you,
- I will not lose the fight.
- How did you like her?
Doctor153 - 157
- I’ll warrant you within these three or four days
- I’ll make her right again.
- To the Wooer.
- You must not from her,
- But still preserve her in this way.
- I will.
- Let’s get her in.
Wooer160 - 161
- Come, sweet, we’ll go to dinner,
- And then we’ll play at cards.
- And shall we kiss too?
- A hundred times.
- And twenty?
- Ay, and twenty.
- And then we’ll sleep together?
- Take her offer.
- Yes, marry, will we.
- But you shall not hurt me.
- I will not, sweet.
- If you do, love, I’ll cry.