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Two Noble Kinsmen: Act 3, Scene 5

Two Noble Kinsmen
Act 3, Scene 5

Another part of the forest near Athens.

  1. Enter a Schoolmaster Gerald, four Countrymen as
  2. morris-dancers and another as the Bavian, five Wenches
  3. (Nell, Friz, Maudline, Luce and Barbary), with a Taborer.

Gerald

4 - 24
  1. Fie, fie,
  2. What tediosity and disensanity
  3. Is here among ye! Have my rudiments
  4. Been labor’d so long with ye, milk’d unto ye,
  5. And by a figure, even the very plum-broth
  6. And marrow of my understanding laid upon ye,
  7. And do you still cry, Where?” and How?” and Wherefore?”
  8. You most coarse frieze capacities, ye jane judgments,
  9. Have I said, Thus let be,” and There let be,”
  10. And Then let be,” and no man understand me?
  11. Proh Deum, medius fidius, ye are all dunces!
  12. For why, here stand I; here the Duke comes; there are you,
  13. Close in the thicket. The Duke appears, I meet him
  14. And unto him I utter learned things,
  15. And many figures; he hears, and nods, and hums,
  16. And then cries, Rare!” and I go forward. At length
  17. I fling my cap up; mark there! Then do you,
  18. As once did Meleager and the boar,
  19. Break comely out before him; like true lovers,
  20. Cast yourselves in a body decently,
  21. And sweetly, by a figure, trace and turn, boys.

First Country Folk

25
  1. And sweetly we will do it, Master Gerald.

Second Country Folk

26
  1. Draw up the company. Where’s the taborer?

Third Country Folk

27
  1. Why, Timothy!

Taborer

28
  1.               Here, my mad boys, have at ye!

Gerald

29
  1. But I say, where’s their women?

Fourth Country Folk

30
  1.                                 Here’s Friz and Maudline.

Second Country Folk

31
  1. And little Luce with the white legs, and bouncing Barbary.

First Country Folk

32
  1. And freckled Nellthat never fail’d her master.

Gerald

33 - 35
  1. Where be your ribands, maids? Swim with your bodies,
  2. And carry it sweetly and deliverly,
  3. And now and then a favor and a frisk.

Nell

36
  1. Let us alone, sir.

Gerald

37
  1.                    Where’s the rest o’ th’ music?

Third Country Folk

38
  1. Dispers’d as you commanded.

Gerald

39 - 44
  1.                             Couple then,
  2. And see what’s wanting. Where’s the Bavian?
  3. My friend, carry your tail without offense
  4. Or scandal to the ladies; and be sure
  5. You tumble with audacity and manhood,
  6. And when you bark, do it with judgment.

Bavian

45
  1.                                         Yes, sir.

Gerald

46
  1. Quo usque tandem? Here is a woman wanting.

Fourth Country Folk

47
  1. We may go whistle; all the fat’s i’ th’ fire.

Gerald

48 - 49
  1. We have, as learned authors utter, wash’d a tile,
  2. We have been fatuus, and labored vainly.

Second Country Folk

50 - 55
  1. This is that scornful piece, that scurvy hilding,
  2. That gave her promise faithfully she would
  3. Be here, Cicely the sempster’s daughter.
  4. The next gloves that I give her shall be dogskin;
  5. Nay, and she fail me onceYou can tell, Arcas,
  6. She swore by wine and bread she would not break.

Gerald

56 - 59
  1. An eel and woman,
  2. A learned poet says, unless by th’ tail
  3. And with thy teeth thou hold, will either fail.
  4. In manners this was false position.

First Country Folk

60
  1. A fire ill take her! Does she flinch now?

Third Country Folk

61 - 62
  1.                                           What
  2. Shall we determine, sir?

Gerald

63 - 65
  1.                          Nothing,
  2. Our business is become a nullity,
  3. Yea, and a woeful and a piteous nullity.

Fourth Country Folk

66 - 68
  1. Now when the credit of our town lay on it,
  2. Now to be frampal, now to piss o’ th’ nettle!
  3. Go thy ways, I’ll remember thee, I’ll fit thee!
  1. Enter Jailer’s Daughter.

Daughter

70 - 83
  1. Sings.
  2. The George Alow came from the south,
  3. From the coast of Barbary-a;
  4. And there he met with brave gallants of war,
  5. By one, by two, by three-a.
  6. Well hail’d, well hail’d, you jolly gallants!
  7. And whither now are you bound-a?
  8. O, let me have your company
  9. Till I come to the sound-a.”
  10. There was three fools fell out about an howlet:
  11. The one said it was an owl,
  12. The other he said nay,
  13. The third he said it was a hawk,
  14. And her bells were cut away.”

Third Country Folk

84 - 87
  1. There’s a dainty mad woman, master,
  2. Comes i’ th’ nick, as mad as a March hare.
  3. If we can get her dance, we are made again.
  4. I warrant her, she’ll do the rarest gambols.

First Country Folk

88
  1. A mad woman? We are made, boys!

Gerald

89
  1. And are you mad, good woman?

Daughter

90 - 91
  1.                              I would be sorry else.
  2. Give me your hand.

Gerald

92
  1.                    Why?

Daughter

93 - 98
  1.      I can tell your fortune.
  2. You are a fool. Tell tenI have pos’d him. Buzz!
  3. Friend, you must eat no white bread; if you do,
  4. Your teeth will bleed extremely. Shall we dance ho?
  5. I know you, y’ are a tinker. Sirrah tinker,
  6. Stop no more holes but what you should.

Gerald

99 - 100
  1.                                         Dii boni!
  2. A tinker, damsel?

Daughter

101 - 103
  1.                   Or a conjurer.
  2. Raise me a devil now, and let him play
  3. Qui passa o’ th’ bells and bones.

Gerald

104 - 107
  1.                                   Go take her,
  2. And fluently persuade her to a peace.
  3. Et opus exegi, quod nec Jovis ira, nec ignis”—
  4. Strike up, and lead her in.

Second Country Folk

108
  1.                             Come, lass, let’s trip it.

Daughter

109
  1. I’ll lead.

Third Country Folk

110
  1. Do, do.

Gerald

111 - 117
  1. Persuasively and cunningly.
  2. Wind horns.
  3.                             Away, boys!
  4. I hear the horns. Give me some meditation,
  5. And mark your cue.
  6. Exeunt all but Schoolmaster.
  7.                    Pallas inspire me!
  1. Enter Theseus, Pirithous, Hippolyta, Emilia, Arcite, and
  2. Train.

Theseus

120
  1. This way the stag took.

Gerald

121
  1.                         Stay, and edify.

Theseus

122
  1. What have we here?

Pirithous

123
  1. Some country sport, upon my life, sir.

Theseus

124 - 125
  1. Well, sir, go forward, we will edify.
  2. Ladies, sit down, we’ll stay it.

Gerald

126
  1. Thou doughty Duke, all hail! All hail, sweet ladies!

Theseus

127
  1. This is a cold beginning.

Gerald

128 - 160
  1. If you but favor, our country pastime made is.
  2. We are a few of those collected here
  3. That ruder tongues distinguish villager,
  4. And to say verity, and not to fable,
  5. We are a merry rout, or else a rable,
  6. Or company, or by a figure, choris,
  7. That ’fore thy dignity will dance a morris.
  8. And I, that am the rectifier of all,
  9. By title paedagogus, that let fall
  10. The birch upon the breeches of the small ones,
  11. And humble with a ferula the tall ones,
  12. Do here present this machine, or this frame,
  13. And, dainty Duke, whose doughty dismal fame
  14. From Dis to Daedalus, from post to pillar,
  15. Is blown abroad, help me, thy poor well-willer,
  16. And with thy twinkling eyes look right and straight
  17. Upon this mighty Morrof mickle weight
  18. Isnow comes in, which being glu’d together
  19. Makes Morris, and the cause that we came hither.
  20. The body of our sport, of no small study,
  21. I first appear, though rude, and raw, and muddy,
  22. To speak, before thy noble Grace, this tenner;
  23. At whose great feet I offer up my penner.
  24. The next, the Lord of May and Lady bright,
  25. The Chambermaid and Servingman, by night
  26. That seek out silent hanging. Then mine Host
  27. And his fat spouse, that welcomes to their cost
  28. The galled traveler, and with a beck’ning
  29. Informs the tapster to inflame the reck’ning.
  30. Then the beast-eating Clown, and next the Fool,
  31. The Bavian, with long tail and eke long tool,
  32. Cum multis aliis that make a dance.
  33. Say Ay,” and all shall presently advance.

Theseus

161
  1. Ay, ay, by any means, dear domine.

Pirithous

162
  1. Produce.

Gerald

163 - 175
  1. Knock for school.
  2. Intrate, filii; come forth, and foot it.
  3. Enter the Dancers. Music. Dance.
  4. Ladies, if we have been merry,
  5. And have pleas’d ye with a derry,
  6. And a derry, and a down,
  7. Say the schoolmaster’s no clown.
  8. Duke, if we have pleas’d thee too
  9. And have done as good boys should do,
  10. Give us but a tree or twain
  11. For a Maypole, and again,
  12. Ere another year run out,
  13. We’ll make thee laugh and all this rout.

Theseus

176
  1. Take twenty, domine.—How does my sweet heart?

Hippolyta

177
  1. Never so pleas’d, sir.

Emilia

178 - 179
  1. ’Twas an excellent dance, and for a preface,
  2. I never heard a better.

Theseus

180 - 181
  1.                         Schoolmaster, I thank you.
  2. One see ’em all rewarded.

Pirithous

182 - 184
  1.                           And here’s something
  2. Gives money.
  3. To paint your pole withal.

Theseus

185
  1.                            Now to our sports again.

Gerald

186 - 192
  1. May the stag thou hunt’st stand long,
  2. And thy dogs be swift and strong!
  3. May they kill him without lets,
  4. And the ladies eat his dowsets!
  5. Exeunt Theseus and his company. Wind horns.
  6. Come, we are all made. Dii deaeque omnes!
  7. Ye have danc’d rarely, wenches.
  1. Exeunt.
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