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Twelfth Night: Act 5, Scene 1

Twelfth Night
Act 5, Scene 1

Scene 1

A street before Olivia’s house.

  1. Enter Clown and Fabian.

Fabian

2
  1. Now as thou lov’st me, let me see his letter.

Feste

3
  1. Good Master Fabian, grant me another request.

Fabian

4
  1. Any thing.

Feste

5
  1. Do not desire to see this letter.

Fabian

6
  1. This is to give a dog and in recompense desire my dog again.
  1. Enter Duke, Viola, Curio, and Lords.

Orsino

8
  1. Belong you to the Lady Olivia, friends?

Feste

9
  1. Ay, sir, we are some of her trappings.

Orsino

10
  1. I know thee well; how dost thou, my good fellow?

Feste

11 - 12
  1. Truly, sir, the better for my foes and the worse for my
  2. friends.

Orsino

13
  1. Just the contrary: the better for thy friends.

Feste

14
  1. No, sir, the worse.

Orsino

15
  1. How can that be?

Feste

16 - 21
  1. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me. Now my
  2. foes tell me plainly I am an ass; so that by my foes, sir, I
  3. profit in the knowledge of myself, and by my friends I am
  4. abus’d; so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four
  5. negatives make your two affirmatives, why then the worse for
  6. my friends and the better for my foes.

Orsino

22
  1. Why, this is excellent.

Feste

23 - 24
  1. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my
  2. friends.

Orsino

25
  1. Thou shalt not be the worse for me, there’s gold.

Feste

26 - 27
  1. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I would you could
  2. make it another.

Orsino

28
  1. O, you give me ill counsel.

Feste

29 - 30
  1. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let
  2. your flesh and blood obey it.

Orsino

31 - 32
  1. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer.
  2. There’s another.

Feste

33 - 36
  1. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play, and the old saying
  2. is, the third pays for all. The triplex, sir, is a good
  3. tripping measure, or the bells of Saint Bennet, sir, may put
  4. you in mindone, two, three.

Orsino

37 - 39
  1. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw. If you
  2. will let your lady know I am here to speak with her, and
  3. bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further.

Feste

40 - 43
  1. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come again. I go,
  2. sir, but I would not have you to think that my desire of
  3. having is the sin of covetousness; but as you say, sir, let
  4. your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon.
  1. Exit.
  1. Enter Antonio and Officers.

Viola

46
  1. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me.

Orsino

47 - 55
  1. That face of his I do remember well,
  2. Yet when I saw it last, it was besmear’d
  3. As black as Vulcan in the smoke of war.
  4. A baubling vessel was he captain of,
  5. For shallow draught and bulk unprizable,
  6. With which such scathful grapple did he make
  7. With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
  8. That very envy, and the tongue of loss,
  9. Cried fame and honor on him. What’s the matter?

First Officer

56 - 61
  1. Orsino, this is that Antonio
  2. That took the Phoenix and her fraught from Candy,
  3. And this is he that did the Tiger board,
  4. When your young nephew Titus lost his leg.
  5. Here in the streets, desperate of shame and state,
  6. In private brabble did we apprehend him.

Viola

62 - 64
  1. He did me kindness, sir, drew on my side,
  2. But in conclusion put strange speech upon me.
  3. I know not what ’twas but distraction.

Orsino

65 - 68
  1. Notable pirate, thou salt-water thief!
  2. What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies
  3. Whom thou in terms so bloody and so dear
  4. Hast made thine enemies?

Antonio

69 - 89
  1.                          Orsino, noble sir,
  2. Be pleas’d that I shake off these names you give me.
  3. Antonio never yet was thief or pirate,
  4. Though I confess, on base and ground enough,
  5. Orsino’s enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
  6. That most ingrateful boy there by your side
  7. From the rude sea’s enrag’d and foamy mouth
  8. Did I redeem; a wrack past hope he was.
  9. His life I gave him, and did thereto add
  10. My love, without retention or restraint,
  11. All his in dedication. For his sake
  12. Did I expose myself (pure for his love)
  13. Into the danger of this adverse town,
  14. Drew to defend him when he was beset;
  15. Where being apprehended, his false cunning
  16. (Not meaning to partake with me in danger)
  17. Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
  18. And grew a twenty years removed thing
  19. While one would wink; denied me mine own purse,
  20. Which I had recommended to his use
  21. Not half an hour before.

Viola

90
  1.                          How can this be?

Orsino

91
  1. When came he to this town?

Antonio

92 - 94
  1. Today, my lord; and for three months before,
  2. No int’rim, not a minute’s vacancy,
  3. Both day and night did we keep company.
  1. Enter Olivia and Attendants.

Orsino

96 - 99
  1. Here comes the Countess, now heaven walks on earth.
  2. But for thee, fellowfellow, thy words are madness.
  3. Three months this youth hath tended upon me,
  4. But more of that anon. Take him aside.

Olivia

100 - 102
  1. What would my lord, but that he may not have,
  2. Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?
  3. Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.

Viola

103
  1. Madam

Orsino

104
  1. Gracious Olivia

Olivia

105
  1. What do you say, Cesario? Good my lord

Viola

106
  1. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.

Olivia

107 - 109
  1. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
  2. It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear
  3. As howling after music.

Orsino

110
  1.                         Still so cruel?

Olivia

111
  1. Still so constant, lord.

Orsino

112 - 115
  1. What, to perverseness? You uncivil lady,
  2. To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars
  3. My soul the faithfull’st off’rings have breath’d out
  4. That e’er devotion tender’d! What shall I do?

Olivia

116
  1. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him.

Orsino

117 - 131
  1. Why should I not (had I the heart to do it),
  2. Like to th’ Egyptian thief at point of death,
  3. Kill what I love? (a savage jealousy
  4. That sometime savors nobly), but hear me this:
  5. Since you to non-regardance cast my faith,
  6. And that I partly know the instrument
  7. That screws me from my true place in your favor,
  8. Live you the marble-breasted tyrant still.
  9. But this your minion, whom I know you love,
  10. And whom, by heaven I swear, I tender dearly,
  11. Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
  12. Where he sits crowned in his master’s spite.
  13. Come, boy, with me, my thoughts are ripe in mischief.
  14. I’ll sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
  15. To spite a raven’s heart within a dove.

Viola

132 - 133
  1. And I most jocund, apt, and willingly,
  2. To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.

Olivia

134
  1. Where goes Cesario?

Viola

135 - 139
  1.                     After him I love
  2. More than I love these eyes, more than my life,
  3. More by all mores than e’er I shall love wife.
  4. If I do feign, you witnesses above
  5. Punish my life for tainting of my love!

Olivia

140
  1. Ay me, detested! How am I beguil’d!

Viola

141
  1. Who does beguile you? Who does do you wrong?

Olivia

142 - 143
  1. Hast thou forgot thyself? Is it so long?
  2. Call forth the holy father.

Orsino

144
  1.                             Come, away!

Olivia

145
  1. Whither, my lord? Cesario, husband, stay.

Orsino

146
  1. Husband?

Olivia

147
  1.          Ay, husband. Can he that deny?

Orsino

148
  1. Her husband, sirrah?

Viola

149
  1.                      No, my lord, not I.

Olivia

150 - 161
  1. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear
  2. That makes thee strangle thy propriety.
  3. Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up,
  4. Be that thou know’st thou art, and then thou art
  5. As great as that thou fear’st.
  6. Enter Priest.
  7.                                O, welcome, father!
  8. Father, I charge thee by thy reverence
  9. Here to unfold, though lately we intended
  10. To keep in darkness what occasion now
  11. Reveals before ’tis ripe, what thou dost know
  12. Hath newly pass’d between this youth and me.

Priest

162 - 169
  1. A contract of eternal bond of love,
  2. Confirm’d by mutual joinder of your hands,
  3. Attested by the holy close of lips,
  4. Strength’ned by interchangement of your rings,
  5. And all the ceremony of this compact
  6. Seal’d in my function, by my testimony;
  7. Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave
  8. I have travel’d but two hours.

Orsino

170 - 175
  1. O thou dissembling cub! What wilt thou be
  2. When time hath sow’d a grizzle on thy case?
  3. Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
  4. That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
  5. Farewell, and take her, but direct thy feet
  6. Where thou and I (henceforth) may never meet.

Viola

176
  1. My lord, I do protest

Olivia

177 - 178
  1.                        O, do not swear!
  2. Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear.
  1. Enter Sir Andrew.

Sir Andrew

180 - 181
  1. For the love of God, a surgeon! Send one presently to Sir
  2. Toby.

Olivia

182
  1. What’s the matter?

Sir Andrew

183 - 185
  1. H’as broke my head across, and has given Sir Toby a bloody
  2. coxcomb too. For the love of God, your help! I had rather
  3. than forty pound I were at home.

Olivia

186
  1. Who has done this, Sir Andrew?

Sir Andrew

187 - 188
  1. The Count’s gentleman, one Cesario. We took him for a
  2. coward, but he’s the very devil incardinate.

Orsino

189
  1. My gentleman, Cesario?

Sir Andrew

190 - 191
  1. ’Od’s lifelings, here he is! You broke my head for nothing,
  2. and that that I did, I was set on to do’t by Sir Toby.

Viola

192 - 194
  1. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you.
  2. I drew your sword upon me without cause,
  3. But I bespake you fair, and hurt you not.
  1. Enter Toby and Clown.

Sir Andrew

196 - 199
  1. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you have hurt me. I think you
  2. set nothing by a bloody coxcomb. Here comes Sir Toby
  3. haltingyou shall hear more. But if he had not been in
  4. drink, he would have tickled you othergates than he did.

Orsino

200
  1. How now, gentleman? How is’t with you?

Sir Toby

201 - 202
  1. That’s all one. H’as hurt me, and there’s th’ end on’t. Sot,
  2. didst see Dick surgeon, sot?

Feste

203 - 204
  1. O, he’s drunk, Sir Toby, an hour agone; his eyes were set at
  2. eight i’ th’ morning.

Sir Toby

205 - 206
  1. Then he’s a rogue, and a passy-measures pavin. I hate a
  2. drunken rogue.

Olivia

207
  1. Away with him! Who hath made this havoc with them?

Sir Andrew

208
  1. I’ll help you, Sir Toby, because we’ll be dress’d together.

Sir Toby

209 - 210
  1. Will you help?—an ass-head and a coxcomb and a knave, a
  2. thin-fac’d knave, a gull!

Olivia

211
  1. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look’d to.
  1. Exeunt Clown, Fabian, Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew.
  1. Enter Sebastian.

Sebastian

214 - 220
  1. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsman,
  2. But had it been the brother of my blood,
  3. I must have done no less with wit and safety.
  4. You throw a strange regard upon me, and by that
  5. I do perceive it hath offended you.
  6. Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows
  7. We made each other but so late ago.

Orsino

221 - 222
  1. One face, one voice, one habit, and two persons,
  2. A natural perspective, that is and is not!

Sebastian

223 - 225
  1. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!
  2. How have the hours rack’d and tortur’d me,
  3. Since I have lost thee!

Antonio

226
  1. Sebastian are you?

Sebastian

227
  1.                    Fear’st thou that, Antonio?

Antonio

228 - 230
  1. How have you made division of yourself?
  2. An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin
  3. Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?

Olivia

231
  1. Most wonderful!

Sebastian

232 - 237
  1. Do I stand there? I never had a brother;
  2. Nor can there be that deity in my nature
  3. Of here and every where. I had a sister,
  4. Whom the blind waves and surges have devour’d.
  5. Of charity, what kin are you to me?
  6. What countryman? What name? What parentage?

Viola

238 - 242
  1. Of Messaline; Sebastian was my father,
  2. Such a Sebastian was my brother too;
  3. So went he suited to his watery tomb.
  4. If spirits can assume both form and suit,
  5. You come to fright us.

Sebastian

243 - 248
  1.                        A spirit I am indeed,
  2. But am in that dimension grossly clad
  3. Which from the womb I did participate.
  4. Were you a woman, as the rest goes even,
  5. I should my tears let fall upon your cheek,
  6. And say, Thrice welcome, drowned Viola!”

Viola

249
  1. My father had a mole upon his brow.

Sebastian

250
  1. And so had mine.

Viola

251 - 252
  1. And died that day when Viola from her birth
  2. Had numb’red thirteen years.

Sebastian

253 - 255
  1. O, that record is lively in my soul!
  2. He finished indeed his mortal act
  3. That day that made my sister thirteen years.

Viola

256 - 265
  1. If nothing lets to make us happy both
  2. But this my masculine usurp’d attire,
  3. Do not embrace me till each circumstance
  4. Of place, time, fortune, do cohere and jump
  5. That I am Violawhich to confirm,
  6. I’ll bring you to a captain in this town,
  7. Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help
  8. I was preserv’d to serve this noble count.
  9. All the occurrence of my fortune since
  10. Hath been between this lady and this lord.

Sebastian

266 - 271
  1. To Olivia.
  2. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook;
  3. But Nature to her bias drew in that.
  4. You would have been contracted to a maid,
  5. Nor are you therein, by my life, deceiv’d,
  6. You are betroth’d both to a maid and man.

Orsino

272 - 277
  1. Be not amaz’d, right noble is his blood.
  2. If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
  3. I shall have share in this most happy wrack.
  4. To Viola.
  5. Boy, thou hast said to me a thousand times
  6. Thou never shouldst love woman like to me.

Viola

278 - 281
  1. And all those sayings will I over swear,
  2. And all those swearings keep as true in soul
  3. As doth that orbed continent the fire
  4. That severs day from night.

Orsino

282 - 283
  1.                             Give me thy hand,
  2. And let me see thee in thy woman’s weeds.

Viola

284 - 287
  1. The captain that did bring me first on shore
  2. Hath my maid’s garments. He upon some action
  3. Is now in durance, at Malvolio’s suit,
  4. A gentleman, and follower of my lady’s.

Olivia

288 - 294
  1. He shall enlarge him; fetch Malvolio hither.
  2. And yet, alas, now I remember me,
  3. They say, poor gentleman, he’s much distract.
  4. Enter Clown with a letter, and Fabian.
  5. A most extracting frenzy of mine own
  6. From my remembrance clearly banish’d his.
  7. How does he, sirrah?

Feste

295 - 299
  1. Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the stave’s end as well
  2. as a man in his case may do. H’as here writ a letter to you;
  3. I should have given’t you today morning. But as a madman’s
  4. epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much when they are
  5. deliver’d.

Olivia

300
  1. Open’t and read it.

Feste

301 - 304
  1. Look then to be well edified when the fool delivers the
  2. madman.
  3. Reads madly.
  4. By the Lord, madam”—

Olivia

305
  1. How now, art thou mad?

Feste

306 - 307
  1. No, madam, I do but read madness. And your ladyship will
  2. have it as it ought to be, you must allow vox.

Olivia

308
  1. Prithee read i’ thy right wits.

Feste

309 - 310
  1. So I do, madonna; but to read his right wits is to read
  2. thus; therefore perpend, my princess, and give ear.

Olivia

311 - 312
  1. To Fabian.
  2. Read it you, sirrah.

Fabian

313 - 322
  1. Reads.
  2. By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know
  3. it. Though you have put me into darkness, and given your
  4. drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my
  5. senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that
  6. induc’d me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt
  7. not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of
  8. me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and
  9. speak out of my injury.
  10. The madly-us’d Malvolio.”

Olivia

323
  1. Did he write this?

Feste

324
  1. Ay, madam.

Orsino

325
  1. This savors not much of distraction.

Olivia

326 - 331
  1. See him deliver’d, Fabian, bring him hither.
  2. Exit Fabian.
  3. My lord, so please you, these things further thought on,
  4. To think me as well a sister as a wife,
  5. One day shall crown th’ alliance on’t, so please you,
  6. Here at my house and at my proper cost.

Orsino

332 - 339
  1. Madam, I am most apt t’ embrace your offer.
  2. To Viola.
  3. Your master quits you; and for your service done him,
  4. So much against the mettle of your sex,
  5. So far beneath your soft and tender breeding,
  6. And since you call’d me master for so long,
  7. Here is my handyou shall from this time be
  8. Your master’s mistress.

Olivia

340
  1.                         A sister! You are she.
  1. Enter Fabian with Malvolio.

Orsino

342
  1. Is this the madman?

Olivia

343 - 344
  1.                     Ay, my lord, this same.
  2. How now, Malvolio?

Malvolio

345 - 346
  1.                    Madam, you have done me wrong,
  2. Notorious wrong.

Olivia

347
  1.                  Have I, Malvolio? No.

Malvolio

348 - 362
  1. Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter.
  2. You must not now deny it is your hand;
  3. Write from it if you can, in hand or phrase,
  4. Or say ’tis not your seal, not your invention.
  5. You can say none of this. Well, grant it then,
  6. And tell me, in the modesty of honor,
  7. Why you have given me such clear lights of favor,
  8. Bade me come smiling and cross-garter’d to you,
  9. To put on yellow stockings, and to frown
  10. Upon Sir Toby and the lighter people;
  11. And acting this in an obedient hope,
  12. Why have you suffer’d me to be imprison’d,
  13. Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
  14. And made the most notorious geck and gull
  15. That e’er invention play’d on? Tell me why!

Olivia

363 - 373
  1. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
  2. Though I confess much like the character;
  3. But out of question ’tis Maria’s hand.
  4. And now I do bethink me, it was she
  5. First told me thou wast mad. Then cam’st in smiling,
  6. And in such forms which here were presuppos’d
  7. Upon thee in the letter. Prithee be content.
  8. This practice hath most shrewdly pass’d upon thee;
  9. But when we know the grounds and authors of it,
  10. Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
  11. Of thine own cause.

Fabian

374 - 387
  1.                     Good madam, hear me speak,
  2. And let no quarrel nor no brawl to come
  3. Taint the condition of this present hour,
  4. Which I have wond’red at. In hope it shall not,
  5. Most freely I confess, myself and Toby
  6. Set this device against Malvolio here,
  7. Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
  8. We had conceiv’d against him. Maria writ
  9. The letter at Sir Toby’s great importance,
  10. In recompense whereof he hath married her.
  11. How with a sportful malice it was follow’d
  12. May rather pluck on laughter than revenge,
  13. If that the injuries be justly weigh’d
  14. That have on both sides pass’d.

Olivia

388
  1. Alas, poor fool, how have they baffled thee!

Feste

389 - 395
  1. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some
  2. have greatness thrown upon them.” I was one, sir, in this
  3. enterludeone Sir Topas, sir, but that’s all one. By the
  4. Lord, fool, I am not mad.” But do you remember? Madam, why
  5. laugh you at such a barren rascal? And you smile not, he’s
  6. gagg’d.” And thus the whirligig of time brings in his
  7. revenges.

Malvolio

396
  1. I’ll be reveng’d on the whole pack of you.
  1. Exit.

Olivia

398
  1. He hath been most notoriously abus’d.

Orsino

399 - 407
  1. Pursue him, and entreat him to a peace;
  2. He hath not told us of the captain yet.
  3. When that is known, and golden time convents,
  4. A solemn combination shall be made
  5. Of our dear souls. Mean time, sweet sister,
  6. We will not part from hence. Cesario, come
  7. For so you shall be while you are a man;
  8. But when in other habits you are seen,
  9. Orsino’s mistress, and his fancy’s queen.
  1. Exeunt all but Clown.

Feste

409 - 429
  1. Clown sings.
  2. When that I was and a little tiny boy,
  3. With hey ho, the wind and the rain,
  4. A foolish thing was but a toy,
  5. For the rain it raineth every day.
  6. But when I came to man’s estate,
  7. With hey ho, etc.
  8. ’Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,
  9. For the rain, etc.
  10. But when I came, alas, to wive,
  11. With hey ho, etc.
  12. By swaggering could I never thrive,
  13. For the rain, etc.
  14. But when I came unto my beds,
  15. With hey ho, etc.
  16. With toss-pots still had drunken heads,
  17. For the rain, etc.
  18. A great while ago the world begun,
  19. With hey ho, etc.
  20. But that’s all one, our play is done,
  21. And we’ll strive to please you every day.
  1. Exit.
finis
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