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Twelfth Night: Act 3, Scene 4

Twelfth Night
Act 3, Scene 4

Olivia’s garden.

  1. Enter Olivia and Maria.

Olivia

2 - 9
  1. Aside.
  2. I have sent after him; he says he’ll come.
  3. How shall I feast him? What bestow of him?
  4. For youth is bought more oft than begg’d or borrow’d.
  5. I speak too loud.—
  6. Where’s Malvolio? He is sad and civil,
  7. And suits well for a servant with my fortunes.
  8. Where is Malvolio?

Maria

10 - 11
  1. He’s coming, madam, but in very strange manner. He is sure
  2. possess’d, madam.

Olivia

12
  1. Why, what’s the matter? Does he rave?

Maria

13 - 15
  1. No, madam, he does nothing but smile. Your ladyship were
  2. best to have some guard about you, if he come, for sure the
  3. man is tainted in ’s wits.

Olivia

16 - 20
  1. Go call him hither.
  2. Enter Malvolio.
  3. I am as mad as he,
  4. If sad and merry madness equal be.
  5. How now, Malvolio?

Malvolio

21
  1. Sweet lady, ho, ho.

Olivia

22
  1. Smil’st thou? I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

Malvolio

23 - 26
  1. Sad, lady? I could be sad. This does make some obstruction
  2. in the blood, this cross-gartering, but what of that? If it
  3. please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet
  4. is, Please one, and please all.”

Olivia

27
  1. Why, how dost thou, man? What is the matter with thee?

Malvolio

28 - 30
  1. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs. It did come
  2. to his hands, and commands shall be executed. I think we do
  3. know the sweet Roman hand.

Olivia

31
  1. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

Malvolio

32
  1. To bed? Ay, sweet heart, and I’ll come to thee.

Olivia

33 - 34
  1. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand
  2. so oft?

Maria

35
  1. How do you, Malvolio?

Malvolio

36
  1. At your request! Yes, nightingales answer daws.

Maria

37
  1. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?

Malvolio

38
  1. Be not afraid of greatness”: ’twas well writ.

Olivia

39
  1. What mean’st thou by that, Malvolio?

Malvolio

40
  1. Some are born great”—

Olivia

41
  1. Ha?

Malvolio

42
  1. Some achieve greatness”—

Olivia

43
  1. What say’st thou?

Malvolio

44
  1. And some have greatness thrust upon them.”

Olivia

45
  1. Heaven restore thee!

Malvolio

46
  1. Remember who commended thy yellow stockings”—

Olivia

47
  1. Thy yellow stockings?

Malvolio

48
  1. And wish’d to see thee cross-garter’d.”

Olivia

49
  1. Cross-garter’d?

Malvolio

50
  1. Go to, thou art made, if thou desir’st to be so”—

Olivia

51
  1. Am I made?

Malvolio

52
  1. If not, let me see thee a servant still.”

Olivia

53
  1. Why, this is very midsummer madness.
  1. Enter Servant.

Olivia’s Servant

55 - 57
  1. Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino’s is
  2. return’d. I could hardly entreat him back. He attends your
  3. ladyship’s pleasure.

Olivia

58 - 62
  1. I’ll come to him.
  2. Exit Servant.
  3. Good Maria, let this fellow be look’d to. Where’s my cousin
  4. Toby? Let some of my people have a special care of him. I
  5. would not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.
  1. Exit with Maria.

Malvolio

64 - 81
  1. O ho, do you come near me now? No worse man than Sir Toby to
  2. look to me! This concurs directly with the letter: she sends
  3. him on purpose, that I may appear stubborn to him; for she
  4. incites me to that in the letter. Cast thy humble slough,”
  5. says she; be opposite with a kinsman, surly with servants;
  6. let thy tongue tang with arguments of state; put thyself
  7. into the trick of singularity”; and consequently sets down
  8. the manner how: as a sad face, a reverend carriage, a slow
  9. tongue, in the habit of some sir of note, and so forth. I
  10. have lim’d her, but it is Jove’s doing, and Jove make me
  11. thankful! And when she went away now, Let this fellow be
  12. look’d to”; fellow”! Not Malvolio,” nor after my degree,
  13. but fellow.” Why, every thing adheres together, that no
  14. dram of a scruple, no scruple of a scruple, no obstacle, no
  15. incredulous or unsafe circumstanceWhat can be said? Nothing
  16. that can be can come between me and the full prospect of my
  17. hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to
  18. be thank’d.
  1. Enter Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

Sir Toby

83 - 85
  1. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If all the devils
  2. of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself possess’d
  3. him, yet I’ll speak to him.

Fabian

86
  1. Here he is, here he is. How is’t with you, sir?

Sir Toby

87
  1. How is’t with you, man?

Malvolio

88
  1. Go off, I discard you. Let me enjoy my private. Go off.

Maria

89 - 90
  1. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! Did not I tell
  2. you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a care of him.

Malvolio

91
  1. Ah ha, does she so?

Sir Toby

92 - 94
  1. Go to, go to; peace, peace, we must deal gently with him.
  2. Let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? How is’t with you? What,
  3. man, defy the devil! Consider, he’s an enemy to mankind.

Malvolio

95
  1. Do you know what you say?

Maria

96 - 97
  1. La you, and you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at
  2. heart! Pray God he be not bewitch’d!

Fabian

98
  1. Carry his water to th’ wise woman.

Maria

99 - 100
  1. Marry, and it shall be done tomorrow morning if I live. My
  2. lady would not lose him for more than I’ll say.

Malvolio

101
  1. How now, mistress?

Maria

102
  1. O Lord!

Sir Toby

103 - 104
  1. Prithee hold thy peace, this is not the way. Do you not see
  2. you move him? Let me alone with him.

Fabian

105 - 106
  1. No way but gentleness, gently, gently. The fiend is rough,
  2. and will not be roughly us’d.

Sir Toby

107
  1. Why, how now, my bawcock? How dost thou, chuck?

Malvolio

108
  1. Sir!

Sir Toby

109 - 110
  1. Ay, biddy, come with me. What, man, ’tis not for gravity to
  2. play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier!

Maria

111
  1. Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get him to pray.

Malvolio

112
  1. My prayers, minx!

Maria

113
  1. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

Malvolio

114 - 115
  1. Go hang yourselves all! You are idle shallow things, I am
  2. not of your element. You shall know more hereafter.
  1. Exit.

Sir Toby

117
  1. Is’t possible?

Fabian

118 - 119
  1. If this were play’d upon a stage now, I could condemn it as
  2. an improbable fiction.

Sir Toby

120
  1. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man.

Maria

121
  1. Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air, and taint.

Fabian

122
  1. Why, we shall make him mad indeed.

Maria

123
  1. The house will be the quieter.

Sir Toby

124 - 129
  1. Come, we’ll have him in a dark room and bound. My niece is
  2. already in the belief that he’s mad. We may carry it thus,
  3. for our pleasure and his penance, till our very pastime,
  4. tir’d out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at
  5. which time we will bring the device to the bar and crown
  6. thee for a finder of madmen. But see, but see.
  1. Enter Sir Andrew.

Fabian

131
  1. More matter for a May morning.

Sir Andrew

132 - 133
  1. Here’s the challenge, read it. I warrant there’s vinegar and
  2. pepper in’t.

Fabian

134
  1. Is’t so saucy?

Sir Andrew

135
  1. Ay, is’t! I warrant him. Do but read.

Sir Toby

136 - 138
  1. Give me.
  2. Reads.
  3. Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow.”

Fabian

139
  1. Good, and valiant.

Sir Toby

140 - 142
  1. Reads.
  2. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee
  3. so, for I will show thee no reason for’t.”

Fabian

143
  1. A good note, that keeps you from the blow of the law.

Sir Toby

144 - 147
  1. Reads.
  2. Thou com’st to the Lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses
  3. thee kindly. But thou liest in thy throat, that is not the
  4. matter I challenge thee for.”

Fabian

148
  1. Very brief, and to exceeding good senseless.

Sir Toby

149 - 151
  1. Reads.
  2. I will waylay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to
  3. kill me”—

Fabian

152
  1. Good.

Sir Toby

153 - 154
  1. Reads.
  2. Thou kill’st me like a rogue and a villain.”

Fabian

155
  1. Still you keep o’ th’ windy side of the law; good.

Sir Toby

156 - 163
  1. Reads.
  2. Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our souls!
  3. He may have mercy upon mine, but my hope is better, and so
  4. look to thyself. Thy friend as thou usest him, and thy sworn
  5. enemy,
  6. Andrew Aguecheek.”
  7. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot. I’ll give’t
  8. him.

Maria

164 - 165
  1. You may have very fit occasion for’t; he is now in some
  2. commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart.

Sir Toby

166 - 171
  1. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the
  2. orchard like a burn-baily. So soon as ever thou seest him,
  3. draw, and as thou draw’st, swear horrible; for it comes to
  4. pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent
  5. sharply twang’d off, gives manhood more approbation than
  6. ever proof itself would have earn’d him. Away!

Sir Andrew

172
  1. Nay, let me alone for swearing.
  1. Exit.

Sir Toby

174 - 185
  1. Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behavior of the
  2. young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and
  3. breeding; his employment between his lord and my niece
  4. confirms no less. Therefore this letter, being so
  5. excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he
  6. will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver
  7. his challenge by word of mouth, set upon Aguecheek a notable
  8. report of valor, and drive the gentleman (as I know his
  9. youth will aptly receive it) into a most hideous opinion of
  10. his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright
  11. them both that they will kill one another by the look, like
  12. cockatrices.
  1. Enter Olivia and Viola.

Fabian

187 - 188
  1. Here he comes with your niece. Give them way till he take
  2. leave, and presently after him.

Sir Toby

189 - 190
  1. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a
  2. challenge.
  1. Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

Olivia

192 - 196
  1. I have said too much unto a heart of stone,
  2. And laid mine honor too unchary on’t.
  3. There’s something in me that reproves my fault;
  4. But such a headstrong potent fault it is
  5. That it but mocks reproof.

Viola

197 - 198
  1. With the same havior that your passion bears
  2. Goes on my master’s griefs.

Olivia

199 - 203
  1. Here, wear this jewel for me, ’tis my picture.
  2. Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you;
  3. And I beseech you come again tomorrow.
  4. What shall you ask of me that I’ll deny,
  5. That honor, sav’d, may upon asking give?

Viola

204
  1. Nothing but thisyour true love for my master.

Olivia

205 - 206
  1. How with mine honor may I give him that
  2. Which I have given to you?

Viola

207
  1.                            I will acquit you.

Olivia

208 - 209
  1. Well, come again tomorrow. Fare thee well.
  2. A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell.
  1. Exit.
  1. Enter Toby and Fabian.

Sir Toby

212
  1. Gentleman, God save thee!

Viola

213
  1. And you, sir.

Sir Toby

214 - 219
  1. That defense thou hast, betake thee to’t. Of what nature the
  2. wrongs are thou hast done him, I know not; but thy
  3. intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the hunter, attends
  4. thee at the orchard-end. Dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy
  5. preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skillful, and
  6. deadly.

Viola

220 - 222
  1. You mistake, sir, I am sure; no man hath any quarrel to me.
  2. My remembrance is very free and clear from any image of
  3. offense done to any man.

Sir Toby

223 - 226
  1. You’ll find it otherwise, I assure you; therefore, if you
  2. hold your life at any price, betake you to your guard; for
  3. your opposite hath in him what youth, strength, skill, and
  4. wrath can furnish man withal.

Viola

227
  1. I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir Toby

228 - 233
  1. He is knight, dubb’d with unhatch’d rapier, and on carpet
  2. consideration, but he is a devil in private brawl. Souls and
  3. bodies hath he divorc’d three, and his incensement at this
  4. moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but
  5. by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob, nob, is his word;
  6. give’t or take’t.

Viola

234 - 237
  1. I will return again into the house, and desire some conduct
  2. of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of some kind of
  3. men that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their
  4. valor. Belike this is a man of that quirk.

Sir Toby

238 - 244
  1. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a very
  2. competent injury; therefore get you on, and give him his
  3. desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you
  4. undertake that with me which with as much safety you might
  5. answer him; therefore on, or strip your sword stark naked;
  6. for meddle you must, that’s certain, or forswear to wear
  7. iron about you.

Viola

245 - 248
  1. This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you do me this
  2. courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offense
  3. to him is. It is something of my negligence, nothing of my
  4. purpose.

Sir Toby

249 - 250
  1. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman
  2. till my return.
  1. Exit Toby.

Viola

252
  1. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fabian

253 - 254
  1. I know the knight is incens’d against you, even to a mortal
  2. arbitrement, but nothing of the circumstance more.

Viola

255
  1. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fabian

256 - 261
  1. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form,
  2. as you are like to find him in the proof of his valor. He is
  3. indeed, sir, the most skillful, bloody, and fatal opposite
  4. that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria.
  5. Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him
  6. if I can.

Viola

262 - 264
  1. I shall be much bound to you for’t. I am one that had rather
  2. go with sir priest than sir knight. I care not who knows so
  3. much of my mettle.
  1. Exeunt.
  1. Enter Toby and Andrew.

Sir Toby

267 - 272
  1. Why, man, he’s a very devil, I have not seen such a firago.
  2. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard, and all; and he
  3. gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion that it is
  4. inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your
  5. feet hits the ground they step on. They say he has been
  6. fencer to the Sophy.

Sir Andrew

273
  1. Pox on’t, I’ll not meddle with him.

Sir Toby

274 - 275
  1. Ay, but he will not now be pacified. Fabian can scarce hold
  2. him yonder.

Sir Andrew

276 - 279
  1. Plague on’t, and I thought he had been valiant, and so
  2. cunning in fence, I’d have seen him damn’d ere I’d have
  3. challeng’d him. Let him let the matter slip, and I’ll give
  4. him my horse, grey Capilet.

Sir Toby

280 - 287
  1. I’ll make the motion. Stand here, make a good show on’t;
  2. this shall end without the perdition of souls.
  3. Aside.
  4. Marry, I’ll ride your horse as well as I ride you.
  5. Enter Fabian and Viola.
  6. To Fabian.
  7. I have his horse to take up the quarrel. I have persuaded
  8. him the youth’s a devil.

Fabian

288 - 289
  1. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and looks
  2. pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir Toby

290 - 295
  1. To Viola.
  2. There’s no remedy, sir, he will fight with you for ’s oath
  3. sake. Marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel,
  4. and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of;
  5. therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow. He protests
  6. he will not hurt you.

Viola

296 - 298
  1. Aside.
  2. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them
  3. how much I lack of a man.

Fabian

299
  1. Give ground if you see him furious.

Sir Toby

300 - 304
  1. Come, Sir Andrew, there’s no remedy, the gentleman will for
  2. his honor’s sake have one bout with you. He cannot by the
  3. duello avoid it; but he has promis’d me, as he is a
  4. gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on,
  5. to’t.

Sir Andrew

305
  1. Pray God he keep his oath!
  1. Enter Antonio.

Viola

307
  1. I do assure you, ’tis against my will.
  1. They draw.

Antonio

309 - 311
  1. Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
  2. Have done offense, I take the fault on me;
  3. If you offend him, I for him defy you.

Sir Toby

312
  1. You, sir? Why, what are you?

Antonio

313 - 314
  1. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
  2. Than you have heard him brag to you he will.

Sir Toby

315
  1. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you.
  1. They draw.
  1. Enter Officers.

Fabian

318
  1. O good Sir Toby, hold! Here come the officers.

Sir Toby

319 - 320
  1. To Antonio.
  2. I’ll be with you anon.
  1. Steps aside to avoid the Officers.

Viola

322
  1. Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.

Sir Andrew

323 - 324
  1. Marry, will I, sir; and for that I promis’d you, I’ll be as
  2. good as my word. He will bear you easily, and reins well.

First Officer

325
  1. This is the man, do thy office.

Second Officer

326
  1. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.

Antonio

327
  1. You do mistake me, sir.

First Officer

328 - 330
  1. No, sir, no jot. I know your favor well,
  2. Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
  3. Take him away, he knows I know him well.

Antonio

331 - 339
  1. I must obey.
  2. To Viola.
  3.              This comes with seeking you;
  4. But there’s no remedy, I shall answer it.
  5. What will you do, now my necessity
  6. Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
  7. Much more for what I cannot do for you
  8. Than what befalls myself. You stand amaz’d,
  9. But be of comfort.

Second Officer

340
  1. Come, sir, away.

Antonio

341
  1. I must entreat of you some of that money.

Viola

342 - 348
  1. What money, sir?
  2. For the fair kindness you have show’d me here,
  3. And part being prompted by your present trouble,
  4. Out of my lean and low ability
  5. I’ll lend you something. My having is not much;
  6. I’ll make division of my present with you.
  7. Hold, there’s half my coffer.

Antonio

349 - 354
  1.                               Will you deny me now?
  2. Is’t possible that my deserts to you
  3. Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
  4. Lest that it make me so unsound a man
  5. As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
  6. That I have done for you.

Viola

355 - 360
  1.                           I know of none,
  2. Nor know I you by voice or any feature.
  3. I hate ingratitude more in a man
  4. Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
  5. Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
  6. Inhabits our frail blood.

Antonio

361
  1.                           O heavens themselves!

Second Officer

362
  1. Come, sir, I pray you go.

Antonio

363 - 367
  1. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
  2. I snatch’d one half out of the jaws of death,
  3. Reliev’d him with such sanctity of love,
  4. And to his image, which methought did promise
  5. Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

First Officer

368
  1. What’s that to us? The time goes by; away!

Antonio

369 - 374
  1. But O, how vild an idol proves this god!
  2. Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
  3. In nature there’s no blemish but the mind;
  4. None can be call’d deform’d but the unkind.
  5. Virtue is beauty, but the beauteous evil
  6. Are empty trunks o’erflourish’d by the devil.

First Officer

375
  1. The man grows mad, away with him! Come, come, sir.

Antonio

376
  1. Lead me on.
  1. Exit with Officers.

Viola

378 - 381
  1. Methinks his words do from such passion fly
  2. That he believes himself; so do not I.
  3. Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
  4. That I, dear brother, be now ta’en for you!

Sir Toby

382 - 383
  1. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian; we’ll whisper o’er
  2. a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Viola

384 - 389
  1. He nam’d Sebastian. I my brother know
  2. Yet living in my glass; even such and so
  3. In favor was my brother, and he went
  4. Still in this fashion, color, ornament,
  5. For him I imitate. O, if it prove,
  6. Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love.
  1. Exit.

Sir Toby

391 - 394
  1. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare.
  2. His dishonesty appears in leaving his friend here in
  3. necessity, and denying him; and for his cowardship, ask
  4. Fabian.

Fabian

395
  1. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.

Sir Andrew

396
  1. ’Slid, I’ll after him again, and beat him.

Sir Toby

397
  1. Do, cuff him soundly, but never draw thy sword.

Sir Andrew

398
  1. And I do not
  1. Exit.

Fabian

400
  1. Come, let’s see the event.

Sir Toby

401
  1. I dare lay any money ’twill be nothing yet.
  1. Exeunt.
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