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Twelfth Night: Act 3, Scene 1

Twelfth Night
Act 3, Scene 1

Scene 1

Olivia’s garden.

  1. Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor.

Viola

2 - 3
  1. ’Save thee, friend, and thy music! Dost thou live by thy
  2. tabor?

Feste

4
  1. No, sir, I live by the church.

Viola

5
  1. Art thou a churchman?

Feste

6 - 7
  1. No such matter, sir. I do live by the church; for I do live
  2. at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.

Viola

8 - 10
  1. So thou mayst say the king lies by a beggar, if a beggar
  2. dwells near him; or the church stands by thy tabor, if thy
  3. tabor stand by the church.

Feste

11 - 13
  1. You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence is but a
  2. chev’ril glove to a good wit. How quickly the wrong side may
  3. be turn’d outward!

Viola

14 - 15
  1. Nay, that’s certain. They that dally nicely with words may
  2. quickly make them wanton.

Feste

16
  1. I would therefore my sister had had no name, sir.

Viola

17
  1. Why, man?

Feste

18 - 20
  1. Why, sir, her name’s a word, and to dally with that word
  2. might make my sister wanton. But indeed, words are very
  3. rascals since bonds disgrac’d them.

Viola

21
  1. Thy reason, man?

Feste

22 - 23
  1. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words, and words
  2. are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason with them.

Viola

24
  1. I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car’st for nothing.

Feste

25 - 27
  1. Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my conscience,
  2. sir, I do not care for you. If that be to care for nothing,
  3. sir, I would it would make you invisible.

Viola

28
  1. Art not thou the Lady Olivia’s fool?

Feste

29 - 33
  1. No, indeed, sir, the Lady Olivia has no folly. She will keep
  2. no fool, sir, till she be married, and fools are as like
  3. husbands as pilchers are to herrings, the husband’s the
  4. bigger. I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of
  5. words.

Viola

34
  1. I saw thee late at the Count Orsino’s.

Feste

35 - 38
  1. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun, it
  2. shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool
  3. should be as oft with your master as with my mistress. I
  4. think I saw your wisdom there.

Viola

39 - 40
  1. Nay, and thou pass upon me, I’ll no more with thee. Hold,
  2. there’s expenses for thee.

Feste

41
  1. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!

Viola

42 - 45
  1. By my troth, I’ll tell thee, I am almost sick for one
  2. Aside.
  3. though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady
  4. within?

Feste

46
  1. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?

Viola

47
  1. Yes, being kept together, and put to use.

Feste

48 - 49
  1. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to bring a
  2. Cressida to this Troilus.

Viola

50
  1. I understand you, sir. ’Tis well begg’d.

Feste

51 - 55
  1. The matter, I hope, is not great, sirbegging but a beggar:
  2. Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will
  3. conster to them whence you come; who you are, and what you
  4. would, are out of my welkinI might say element,” but the
  5. word is overworn.
  1. Exit.

Viola

57 - 65
  1. This fellow is wise enough to play the fool,
  2. And to do that well craves a kind of wit.
  3. He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
  4. The quality of persons, and the time;
  5. And like the haggard, check at every feather
  6. That comes before his eye. This is a practice
  7. As full of labor as a wise man’s art;
  8. For folly that he wisely shows is fit,
  9. But wise men, folly-fall’n, quite taint their wit.
  1. Enter Sir Toby and Andrew.

Sir Toby

67
  1. ’Save you, gentleman.

Viola

68
  1. And you, sir.

Sir Andrew

69
  1. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.

Viola

70
  1. Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.

Sir Andrew

71
  1. I hope, sir, you are, and I am yours.

Sir Toby

72 - 73
  1. Will you encounter the house? My niece is desirous you
  2. should enter, if your trade be to her.

Viola

74 - 75
  1. I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean she is the list of my
  2. voyage.

Sir Toby

76
  1. Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion.

Viola

77 - 78
  1. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what
  2. you mean by bidding me taste my legs.

Sir Toby

79
  1. I mean, to go, sir, to enter.

Viola

80 - 84
  1. I will answer you with gait and entrancebut we are
  2. prevented.
  3. Enter Olivia and Gentlewoman.
  4. Most excellent accomplish’d lady, the heavens rain odors on
  5. you!

Sir Andrew

85
  1. That youth’s a rare courtier—“rain odors,” well.

Viola

86 - 87
  1. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant
  2. and vouchsafed ear.

Sir Andrew

88 - 89
  1. Odors,” pregnant,” and vouchsafed”; I’ll get ’em all
  2. three all ready.

Olivia

90 - 92
  1. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
  2. Exeunt all but Olivia and Viola.
  3. Give me your hand, sir.

Viola

93
  1. My duty, madam, and most humble service.

Olivia

94
  1. What is your name?

Viola

95
  1. Cesario is your servant’s name, fair princess.

Olivia

96 - 98
  1. My servant, sir? ’Twas never merry world
  2. Since lowly feigning was call’d compliment.
  3. Y’ are servant to the Count Orsino, youth.

Viola

99 - 100
  1. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
  2. Your servant’s servant is your servant, madam.

Olivia

101 - 102
  1. For him, I think not on him. For his thoughts,
  2. Would they were blanks, rather than fill’d with me.

Viola

103 - 104
  1. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
  2. On his behalf.

Olivia

105 - 109
  1.                O, by your leave, I pray you:
  2. I bade you never speak again of him;
  3. But would you undertake another suit,
  4. I had rather hear you to solicit that
  5. Than music from the spheres.

Viola

110
  1.                              Dear lady

Olivia

111 - 122
  1. Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
  2. After the last enchantment you did here,
  3. A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse
  4. Myself, my servant, and I fear me you.
  5. Under your hard construction must I sit,
  6. To force that on you in a shameful cunning
  7. Which you knew none of yours. What might you think?
  8. Have you not set mine honor at the stake,
  9. And baited it with all th’ unmuzzled thoughts
  10. That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
  11. Enough is shown; a cypress, not a bosom,
  12. Hides my heart. So let me hear you speak.

Viola

123
  1. I pity you.

Olivia

124
  1.             That’s a degree to love.

Viola

125 - 126
  1. No, not a grize; for ’tis a vulgar proof
  2. That very oft we pity enemies.

Olivia

127 - 136
  1. Why then methinks ’tis time to smile again.
  2. O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
  3. If one should be a prey, how much the better
  4. To fall before the lion than the wolf!
  5. Clock strikes.
  6. The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
  7. Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you,
  8. And yet when wit and youth is come to harvest,
  9. Your wife is like to reap a proper man.
  10. There lies your way, due west.

Viola

137 - 139
  1.                                Then westward-ho!
  2. Grace and good disposition attend your ladyship!
  3. You’ll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?

Olivia

140 - 141
  1. Stay!
  2. I prithee tell me what thou think’st of me.

Viola

142
  1. That you do think you are not what you are.

Olivia

143
  1. If I think so, I think the same of you.

Viola

144
  1. Then think you right: I am not what I am.

Olivia

145
  1. I would you were as I would have you be.

Viola

146 - 147
  1. Would it be better, madam, than I am?
  2. I wish it might, for now I am your fool.

Olivia

148 - 160
  1. Aside.
  2. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
  3. In the contempt and anger of his lip!
  4. A murd’rous guilt shows not itself more soon
  5. Than love that would seem hid: love’s night is noon.—
  6. Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
  7. By maidhood, honor, truth, and every thing,
  8. I love thee so, that maugre all thy pride,
  9. Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
  10. Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
  11. For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
  12. But rather reason thus with reason fetter:
  13. Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.

Viola

161 - 166
  1. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
  2. I have one heart, one bosom, and one truth,
  3. And that no woman has, nor never none
  4. Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
  5. And so adieu, good madam, never more
  6. Will I my master’s tears to you deplore.

Olivia

167 - 168
  1. Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move
  2. That heart which now abhors, to like his love.
  1. Exeunt.
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