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Much Ado About Nothing: Act 5, Scene 2

Much Ado About Nothing
Act 5, Scene 2

Leonato’s garden.

  1. Enter Benedick and Margaret, meeting.

Benedick

2 - 3
  1. Pray thee, sweet Mistress Margaret, deserve well at my hands
  2. by helping me to the speech of Beatrice.

Margaret

4
  1. Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty?

Benedick

5 - 6
  1. In so high a style, Margaret, that no man living shall come
  2. over it, for in most comely truth thou deservest it.

Margaret

7 - 8
  1. To have no man come over me? Why, shall I always keep below
  2. stairs?

Benedick

9
  1. Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound’s mouth, it catches.

Margaret

10 - 11
  1. And yours as blunt as the fencer’s foils, which hit, but
  2. hurt not.

Benedick

12 - 13
  1. A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a woman. And so
  2. I pray thee call Beatrice; I give thee the bucklers.

Margaret

14
  1. Give us the swords, we have bucklers of our own.

Benedick

15 - 16
  1. If you use them, Margaret, you must put in the pikes with a
  2. vice, and they are dangerous weapons for maids.

Margaret

17
  1. Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I think hath legs.
  1. Exit Margaret.

Benedick

19 - 36
  1. And therefore will come.
  2. Sings.
  3. The god of love,
  4. That sits above,
  5. And knows me, and knows me,
  6. How pitiful I deserve”—
  7. I mean in singing; but in loving, Leander the good swimmer,
  8. Troilus the first employer of pandars, and a whole bookful
  9. of these quondam carpet-mongers, whose names yet run
  10. smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were
  11. never so truly turn’d over and over as my poor self in love.
  12. Marry, I cannot show it in rhyme; I have tried. I can find
  13. out no rhyme to lady but baby,” an innocent rhyme; for
  14. scorn,” horn,” a hard rhyme; for school,” fool,” a
  15. babbling rhyme: very ominous endings. No, I was not born
  16. under a rhyming planet, nor I cannot woo in festival terms.
  17. Enter Beatrice.
  18. Sweet Beatrice, wouldst thou come when I call’d thee?

Beatrice

37
  1. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me.

Benedick

38
  1. O, stay but till then!

Beatrice

39 - 41
  1. Then is spoken; fare you well now. And yet ere I go, let
  2. me go with that I came, which is, with knowing what hath
  3. pass’d between you and Claudio.

Benedick

42
  1. Only foul wordsand thereupon I will kiss thee.

Beatrice

43 - 45
  1. Foul words is but foul wind, and foul wind is but foul
  2. breath, and foul breath is noisome; therefore I will depart
  3. unkiss’d.

Benedick

46 - 51
  1. Thou hast frighted the word out of his right sense, so
  2. forcible is thy wit. But I must tell thee plainly, Claudio
  3. undergoes my challenge, and either I must shortly hear from
  4. him, or I will subscribe him a coward. And I pray thee now
  5. tell me, for which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in
  6. love with me?

Beatrice

52 - 55
  1. For them all together, which maintain’d so politic a state
  2. of evil that they will not admit any good part to
  3. intermingle with them. But for which of my good parts did
  4. you first suffer love for me?

Benedick

56 - 57
  1. Suffer love! A good epithite! I do suffer love indeed, for I
  2. love thee against my will.

Beatrice

58 - 60
  1. In spite of your heart, I think. Alas, poor heart, if you
  2. spite it for my sake, I will spite it for yours, for I will
  3. never love that which my friend hates.

Benedick

61
  1. Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably.

Beatrice

62 - 63
  1. It appears not in this confession; there’s not one wise man
  2. among twenty that will praise himself.

Benedick

64 - 67
  1. An old, an old instance, Beatrice, that liv’d in the time of
  2. good neighbors. If a man do not erect in this age his own
  3. tomb ere he dies, he shall live no longer in monument than
  4. the bell rings and the widowweeps.

Beatrice

68
  1. And how long is that, think you?

Benedick

69 - 74
  1. Question: why, an hour in clamor and a quarter in rheum;
  2. therefore is it most expedient for the wise, if Don Worm
  3. (his conscience) find no impediment to the contrary, to be
  4. the trumpet of his own virtues, as I am to myself. So much
  5. for praising myself, who I myself will bear witness is
  6. praiseworthy. And now tell me, how doth your cousin?

Beatrice

75
  1. Very ill.

Benedick

76
  1. And how do you?

Beatrice

77
  1. Very ill too.

Benedick

78 - 79
  1. Serve God, love me, and mend. There will I leave you too,
  2. for here comes one in haste.
  1. Enter Ursula.

Ursula

81 - 85
  1. Madam, you must come to your uncle, yonder’s old coil at
  2. home. It is prov’d my Lady Hero hath been falsely accus’d,
  3. the Prince and Claudio mightily abus’d, and Don John is the
  4. author of all, who is fled and gone. Will you come
  5. presently?

Beatrice

86
  1. Will you go hear this news, signior?

Benedick

87 - 88
  1. I will live in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be buried in
  2. thy eyes; and moreover I will go with thee to thy uncle’s.
  1. Exeunt.
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