Henry IV, Pt. 2
Act 2, Scene 1
London. A street.
- Enter Hostess Quickly of the Tavern and an officer or
- two—Fang and Snare, Snare lagging behind.
- Master Fang, have you ent’red the action?
- It is ent’red.
Mistress Quickly5 - 6
- Where’s your yeoman? Is’t a lusty yeoman?
- Will ’a stand to’t?
- Sirrah! Where’s Snare?
- O Lord, ay! Good Master Snare.
- Here, here.
- Snare, we must arrest Sir John Falstaff.
- Yea, good Master Snare, I have ent’red him and all.
- It may chance cost some of us our lives, for he will stab.
Mistress Quickly13 - 16
- Alas the day, take heed of him! He stabb’d me in mine own
- house, most beastly, in good faith. ’A cares not what
- mischief he does, if his weapon be out. He will foin like
- any devil, he will spare neither man, woman, nor child.
- If I can close with him, I care not for his thrust.
- No, nor I neither, I’ll be at your elbow.
- And I but fist him once, and ’a come but within my vice—
Mistress Quickly20 - 37
- I am undone by his going, I warrant you, he’s an infinitive
- thing upon my score. Good Master Fang, hold him sure. Good
- Master Snare, let him not scape. ’a comes continuantly to
- Pie-corner (saving your manhoods) to buy a saddle, and he is
- indited to dinner to the Lubber’s Head in Lumbert street, to
- Master Smooth’s the silk-man. I pray you, since my exion is
- ent’red and my case so openly known to the world, let him be
- brought in to his answer. A hundred mark is a long one for a
- poor lone woman to bear, and I have borne, and borne, and
- borne, and have been fubb’d off, and fubb’d off, and fubb’d
- off, from this day to that day, that it is a shame to be
- thought on. There is no honesty in such dealing, unless a
- woman should be made an ass and a beast, to bear every
- knave’s wrong.
- Enter Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph and the Boy Page.
- Yonder he comes, and that arrant malmsey-nose knave,
- Bardolph, with him. Do your offices, do your offices, Master
- Fang and Master Snare, do me, do me, do me your offices.
- How now, whose mare’s dead? What’s the matter?
- I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.
Falstaff40 - 41
- Away, varlets! Draw, Bardolph, cut me off the villain’s
- head, throw the quean in the channel.
Mistress Quickly42 - 46
- Throw me in the channel? I’ll throw thee in the channel.
- Wilt thou? Wilt thou? Thou bastardly rogue! Murder, murder!
- Ah, thou honeysuckle villain! Wilt thou kill God’s officers
- and the King’s? Ah, thou honeyseed rogue! Thou art a
- honeyseed, a man-queller, and a woman-queller.
- Keep them off, Bardolph.
- A rescue! A rescue!
Mistress Quickly49 - 52
- Good people, bring a rescue or two.
- The Page attacks her.
- Thou wo’t, wo’t thou? Thou wo’t, wo’t ta? Do, do, thou
- rogue! Do, thou hempseed!
Falstaff’s Page53 - 54
- Away, you scullion! You rampallian! You fustilarian! I’ll
- tickle your catastrophe.
- Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men.
Lord Chief Justice56
- What is the matter? Keep the peace here, ho!
- Good my lord, be good to me; I beseech you stand to me.
Lord Chief Justice58 - 61
- How now, Sir John? What are you brawling here?
- Doth this become your place, your time, and business?
- You should have been well on your way to York.
- Stand from him, fellow, wherefore hang’st thou upon him?
Mistress Quickly62 - 63
- O my most worshipful lord, and’t please your Grace, I am a
- poor widow of Eastcheap, and he is arrested at my suit.
Lord Chief Justice64
- For what sum?
Mistress Quickly65 - 69
- It is more than for some, my lord, it is for all I have. He
- hath eaten me out of house and home, he hath put all my
- substance into that fat belly of his, but I will have some
- of it out again, or I will ride thee a’ nights like the
Falstaff70 - 71
- I think I am as like to ride the mare, if I have any vantage
- of ground to get up.
Lord Chief Justice72 - 75
- How comes this, Sir John? What man of good temper would
- endure this tempest of exclamation? Are you not asham’d to
- enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her
- What is the gross sum that I owe thee?
Mistress Quickly77 - 93
- Marry, if thou wert an honest man, thyself and the money
- too. Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel-gilt goblet,
- sitting in my Dauphin chamber, at the round table by a
- sea-coal fire, upon Wednesday in Wheeson week, when the
- Prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing-man
- of Windsor, thou didst swear to me then, as I was washing
- thy wound, to marry me and make me my lady thy wife. Canst
- thou deny it? Did not goodwife Keech, the butcher’s wife,
- come in then and call me gossip Quickly? Coming in to borrow
- a mess of vinegar, telling us she had a good dish of prawns,
- whereby thou didst desire to eat some, whereby I told thee
- they were ill for a green wound? And didst thou not, when
- she was gone down stairs, desire me to be no more so
- familiarity with such poor people, saying that ere long they
- should call me madam? And didst thou not kiss me, and bid me
- fetch thee thirty shillings? I put thee now to thy
- book-oath. Deny it if thou canst.
Falstaff94 - 98
- My lord, this is a poor mad soul, and she says up and down
- the town that her eldest son is like you. She hath been in
- good case, and the truth is, poverty hath distracted her.
- But for these foolish officers, I beseech you I may have
- redress against them.
Lord Chief Justice99 - 105
- Sir John, Sir John, I am well acquainted with your manner of
- wrenching the true cause the false way. It is not a
- confident brow, nor the throng of words that come with such
- more than impudent sauciness from you, can thrust me from a
- level consideration. You have, as it appears to me,
- practic’d upon the easy-yielding spirit of this woman, and
- made her serve your uses both in purse and in person.
- Yea, in truth, my lord.
Lord Chief Justice107 - 109
- Pray thee peace. Pay her the debt you owe her, and unpay the
- villainy you have done with her. The one you may do with
- sterling money, and the other with current repentance.
Falstaff110 - 115
- My lord, I will not undergo this sneap without reply. You
- call honorable boldness impudent sauciness; if a man will
- make curtsy and say nothing, he is virtuous. No, my lord, my
- humble duty rememb’red, I will not be your suitor. I say to
- you, I do desire deliverance from these officers, being upon
- hasty employment in the King’s affairs.
Lord Chief Justice116 - 117
- You speak as having power to do wrong, but answer in th’
- effect of your reputation, and satisfy the poor woman.
- Come hither, hostess.
- Enter a messenger, Master Gower.
Lord Chief Justice120
- Now, Master Gower, what news?
Gower121 - 122
- The King, my lord, and Harry Prince of Wales
- Are near at hand. The rest the paper tells.
- As I am a gentleman!
- Faith, you said so before.
- As I am a gentleman! Come, no more words of it.
Mistress Quickly126 - 127
- By this heav’nly ground I tread on, I must be fain to pawn
- both my plate and the tapestry of my dining-chambers.
Falstaff128 - 136
- Glasses, glasses, is the only drinking, and for thy walls, a
- pretty slight drollery, or the story of the Prodigal, or the
- German hunting in waterwork, is worth a thousand of these
- bed-hangers and these fly-bitten tapestries. Let it be ten
- pound, if thou canst. Come, and ’twere not for thy humors,
- there’s not a better wench in England. Go wash thy face, and
- draw the action. Come, thou must not be in this humor with
- me, dost not know me? Come, come, I know thou wast set on to
Mistress Quickly137 - 138
- Pray thee, Sir John, let it be but twenty nobles. I’ faith,
- I am loath to pawn my plate, so God save me law!
- Let it alone, I’ll make other shift. You’ll be a fool still.
Mistress Quickly140 - 141
- Well, you shall have it, though I pawn my gown. I hope
- you’ll come to supper. You’ll pay me all together?
Falstaff142 - 144
- Will I live?
- To Bardolph.
- Go, with her, with her, hook on, hook on.
- Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper?
- No more words, let’s have her.
- Exeunt Hostess and Fang, Snare, and Bardolph.
Lord Chief Justice148
- I have heard better news.
- What’s the news, my lord?
Lord Chief Justice150
- Where lay the King tonight?
- At Basingstoke, my lord.
- I hope, my lord, all’s well. What is the news, my lord?
Lord Chief Justice153
- Come all his forces back?
Gower154 - 156
- No, fifteen hundred foot, five hundred horse,
- Are march’d up to my Lord of Lancaster,
- Against Northumberland and the Archbishop.
- Comes the King back from Wales, my noble lord?
Lord Chief Justice158 - 159
- You shall have letters of me presently. Come, go along with
- me, good Master Gower.
- My lord!
Lord Chief Justice161
- What’s the matter?
- Master Gower, shall I entreat you with me to dinner?
Gower163 - 164
- I must wait upon my good lord here, I thank you, good Sir
Lord Chief Justice165 - 166
- Sir John, you loiter here too long, being you are to take
- soldiers up in counties as you go.
- Will you sup with me, Master Gower?
Lord Chief Justice168
- What foolish master taught you these manners, Sir John?
Falstaff169 - 171
- Master Gower, if they become me not, he was a fool that
- taught them me. This is the right fencing grace, my lord,
- tap for tap, and so part fair.
Lord Chief Justice172
- Now the Lord lighten thee! Thou art a great fool.