Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act 4, Scene 2
A public road near Coventry.
- Enter Falstaff, Bardolph.
Falstaff2 - 4
- Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of
- sack. Our soldiers shall march through; we’ll to Sutton
- Co’fil’ tonight.
- Will you give me money, captain?
- Lay out, lay out.
- This bottle makes an angel.
Falstaff8 - 10
- And if it do, take it for thy labor, and if it make twenty,
- take them all, I’ll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant
- Peto meet me at town’s end.
- I will, captain, farewell.
Falstaff13 - 45
- If I be not asham’d of my soldiers, I am a sous’d gurnet. I
- have misus’d the King’s press damnably. I have got, in
- exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and
- odd pounds. I press me none but good householders, yeomen’s
- sons, inquire me out contracted bachelors, such as had been
- ask’d twice on the banes, such a commodity of warm slaves,
- as had as lief hear the devil as a drum, such as fear the
- report of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild
- duck. I press’d me none but such toasts-and-butter, with
- hearts in their bellies no bigger than pins’ heads, and they
- have bought out their services; and now my whole charge
- consists of ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of
- companies—slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth,
- where the glutton’s dogs lick’d his sores, and such as
- indeed were never soldiers, but discarded unjust servingmen,
- younger sons to younger brothers, revolted tapsters, and
- ostlers trade-fall’n, the cankers of a calm world and a long
- peace, ten times more dishonorable ragged than an old feaz’d
- ancient: and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them as
- have bought out their services, that you would think that I
- had a hundred and fifty totter’d prodigals lately come from
- swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met
- me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
- press’d the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.
- I’ll not march through Coventry with them, that’s flat. Nay,
- and the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had
- gyves on, for indeed I had the most of them out of prison.
- There’s not a shirt and a half in all my company, and the
- half shirt is two napkins tack’d together and thrown over
- the shoulders like a herald’s coat without sleeves; and the
- shirt, to say the truth, stol’n from my host at Saint
- Albans, or the red-nose innkeeper of Daventry. But that’s
- all one, they’ll find linen-enough on every hedge.
- Enter the Prince, Lord of Westmorland.
- How now, blown Jack? How now, quilt?
Falstaff48 - 50
- What, Hal? How now, mad wag? What a devil dost thou in
- Warwickshire? My good Lord of Westmorland, I cry you mercy!
- I thought your honor had already been at Shrewsbury.
Earl of Westmorland51 - 53
- Faith, Sir John, ’tis more than time that I were there, and
- you too, but my powers are there already. The King, I can
- tell you, looks for us all, we must away all night.
Falstaff54 - 55
- Tut, never fear me, I am as vigilant as a cat to steal
Prince Henry56 - 58
- I think, to steal cream indeed, for thy theft hath already
- made thee butter. But tell me, Jack, whose fellows are these
- that come after?
- Mine, Hal, mine.
- I did never see such pitiful rascals.
Falstaff61 - 63
- Tut, tut, good enough to toss, food for powder, food for
- powder; they’ll fill a pit as well as better. Tush, man,
- mortal men, mortal men.
Earl of Westmorland64 - 65
- Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and
- bare, too beggarly.
Falstaff66 - 68
- Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had that,
- and for their bareness, I am sure they never learn’d that of
Prince Henry69 - 71
- No, I’ll be sworn, unless you call three fingers in the ribs
- bare. But, sirrah, make haste, Percy is already in the
- What, is the King encamp’d?
Earl of Westmorland74
- He is, Sir John. I fear we shall stay too long.
Falstaff75 - 77
- To the latter end of a fray and the beginning of a feast
- Fits a dull fighter and a keen guest.