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Henry IV, Pt. 1: Act 4, Scene 2

Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act 4, Scene 2

A public road near Coventry.

  1. Enter Falstaff, Bardolph.

Falstaff

2 - 4
  1. Bardolph, get thee before to Coventry; fill me a bottle of
  2. sack. Our soldiers shall march through; we’ll to Sutton
  3. Co’fil’ tonight.

Bardolph

5
  1. Will you give me money, captain?

Falstaff

6
  1. Lay out, lay out.

Bardolph

7
  1. This bottle makes an angel.

Falstaff

8 - 10
  1. And if it do, take it for thy labor, and if it make twenty,
  2. take them all, I’ll answer the coinage. Bid my lieutenant
  3. Peto meet me at town’s end.

Bardolph

11
  1. I will, captain, farewell.
  1. Exit.

Falstaff

13 - 45
  1. If I be not asham’d of my soldiers, I am a sous’d gurnet. I
  2. have misus’d the King’s press damnably. I have got, in
  3. exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers, three hundred and
  4. odd pounds. I press me none but good householders, yeomen’s
  5. sons, inquire me out contracted bachelors, such as had been
  6. ask’d twice on the banes, such a commodity of warm slaves,
  7. as had as lief hear the devil as a drum, such as fear the
  8. report of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild
  9. duck. I press’d me none but such toasts-and-butter, with
  10. hearts in their bellies no bigger than pins’ heads, and they
  11. have bought out their services; and now my whole charge
  12. consists of ancients, corporals, lieutenants, gentlemen of
  13. companiesslaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth,
  14. where the glutton’s dogs lick’d his sores, and such as
  15. indeed were never soldiers, but discarded unjust servingmen,
  16. younger sons to younger brothers, revolted tapsters, and
  17. ostlers trade-fall’n, the cankers of a calm world and a long
  18. peace, ten times more dishonorable ragged than an old feaz’d
  19. ancient: and such have I, to fill up the rooms of them as
  20. have bought out their services, that you would think that I
  21. had a hundred and fifty totter’d prodigals lately come from
  22. swine-keeping, from eating draff and husks. A mad fellow met
  23. me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
  24. press’d the dead bodies. No eye hath seen such scarecrows.
  25. I’ll not march through Coventry with them, that’s flat. Nay,
  26. and the villains march wide betwixt the legs, as if they had
  27. gyves on, for indeed I had the most of them out of prison.
  28. There’s not a shirt and a half in all my company, and the
  29. half shirt is two napkins tack’d together and thrown over
  30. the shoulders like a herald’s coat without sleeves; and the
  31. shirt, to say the truth, stol’n from my host at Saint
  32. Albans, or the red-nose innkeeper of Daventry. But that’s
  33. all one, they’ll find linen-enough on every hedge.
  1. Enter the Prince, Lord of Westmorland.

Prince Henry

47
  1. How now, blown Jack? How now, quilt?

Falstaff

48 - 50
  1. What, Hal? How now, mad wag? What a devil dost thou in
  2. Warwickshire? My good Lord of Westmorland, I cry you mercy!
  3. I thought your honor had already been at Shrewsbury.

Earl of Westmorland

51 - 53
  1. Faith, Sir John, ’tis more than time that I were there, and
  2. you too, but my powers are there already. The King, I can
  3. tell you, looks for us all, we must away all night.

Falstaff

54 - 55
  1. Tut, never fear me, I am as vigilant as a cat to steal
  2. cream.

Prince Henry

56 - 58
  1. I think, to steal cream indeed, for thy theft hath already
  2. made thee butter. But tell me, Jack, whose fellows are these
  3. that come after?

Falstaff

59
  1. Mine, Hal, mine.

Prince Henry

60
  1. I did never see such pitiful rascals.

Falstaff

61 - 63
  1. Tut, tut, good enough to toss, food for powder, food for
  2. powder; they’ll fill a pit as well as better. Tush, man,
  3. mortal men, mortal men.

Earl of Westmorland

64 - 65
  1. Ay, but, Sir John, methinks they are exceeding poor and
  2. bare, too beggarly.

Falstaff

66 - 68
  1. Faith, for their poverty, I know not where they had that,
  2. and for their bareness, I am sure they never learn’d that of
  3. me.

Prince Henry

69 - 71
  1. No, I’ll be sworn, unless you call three fingers in the ribs
  2. bare. But, sirrah, make haste, Percy is already in the
  3. field.
  1. Exit.

Falstaff

73
  1. What, is the King encamp’d?

Earl of Westmorland

74
  1. He is, Sir John. I fear we shall stay too long.

Falstaff

75 - 77
  1. Well,
  2. To the latter end of a fray and the beginning of a feast
  3. Fits a dull fighter and a keen guest.
  1. Exeunt.
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