Much Ado About Nothing
Act V, Scene 1
Before Leonato’s house.
- Enter Leonato and his brother Antonio.
Antonio1 - 3
- If you go on thus, you will kill yourself,
- And ’tis not wisdom thus to second grief
- Against yourself.
Leonato4 - 33
- I pray thee cease thy counsel,
- Which falls into mine ears as profitless
- As water in a sieve. Give not me counsel,
- Nor let no comforter delight mine ear
- But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine.
- Bring me a father that so lov’d his child,
- Whose joy of her is overwhelm’d like mine,
- And bid him speak of patience;
- Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine,
- And let it answer every strain for strain,
- As thus for thus, and such a grief for such,
- In every lineament, branch, shape, and form;
- If such a one will smile and stroke his beard,
- And, sorrow wag, cry “hem!” when he should groan,
- Patch grief with proverbs, make misfortune drunk
- With candle-wasters, bring him yet to me,
- And I of him will gather patience.
- But there is no such man, for, brother, men
- Can counsel and speak comfort to that grief
- Which they themselves not feel, but tasting it,
- Their counsel turns to passion, which before
- Would give preceptial med’cine to rage,
- Fetter strong madness in a silken thread,
- Charm ache with air, and agony with words.
- No, no, ’tis all men’s office to speak patience
- To those that wring under the load of sorrow,
- But no man’s virtue nor sufficiency
- To be so moral when he shall endure
- The like himself. Therefore give me no counsel,
- My griefs cry louder than advertisement.
- Therein do men from children nothing differ.
Leonato35 - 39
- I pray thee peace. I will be flesh and blood,
- For there was never yet philosopher
- That could endure the toothache patiently,
- However they have writ the style of gods,
- And made a push at chance and sufferance.
Antonio40 - 41
- Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself;
- Make those that do offend you suffer too.
Leonato42 - 45
- There thou speak’st reason; nay, I will do so.
- My soul doth tell me Hero is belied,
- And that shall Claudio know; so shall the Prince,
- And all of them that thus dishonor her.
- Enter Prince Don Pedro and Claudio.
- Here comes the Prince and Claudio hastily.
- Good den, good den.
- Good day to both of you.
- Hear you, my lords—
- We have some haste, Leonato.
Leonato51 - 52
- Some haste, my lord! Well, fare you well, my lord.
- Are you so hasty now? Well, all is one.
- Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old man.
Antonio54 - 55
- If he could right himself with quarreling,
- Some of us would lie low.
- Who wrongs him?
Leonato57 - 59
- Marry, thou dost wrong me, thou dissembler, thou—
- Nay, never lay thy hand upon thy sword,
- I fear thee not.
Claudio60 - 62
- Marry, beshrew my hand,
- If it should give your age such cause of fear.
- In faith, my hand meant nothing to my sword.
Leonato63 - 76
- Tush, tush, man, never fleer and jest at me;
- I speak not like a dotard nor a fool,
- As under privilege of age to brag
- What I have done being young, or what would do
- Were I not old. Know, Claudio, to thy head,
- Thou hast so wrong’d mine innocent child and me
- That I am forc’d to lay my reverence by,
- And with grey hairs and bruise of many days,
- Do challenge thee to trial of a man.
- I say thou hast belied mine innocent child!
- Thy slander hath gone through and through her heart,
- And she lies buried with her ancestors—
- O, in a tomb where never scandal slept,
- Save this of hers, fram’d by thy villainy!
- My villainy?
- Thine, Claudio, thine, I say.
- You say not right, old man.
Leonato80 - 83
- My lord, my lord,
- I’ll prove it on his body, if he dare,
- Despite his nice fence and his active practice,
- His May of youth and bloom of lustihood.
- Away, I will not have to do with you.
Leonato85 - 86
- Canst thou so daff me? Thou hast kill’d my child.
- If thou kill’st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man.
Antonio87 - 92
- He shall kill two of us, and men indeed;
- But that’s no matter, let him kill one first.
- Win me and wear me, let him answer me.
- Come follow me, boy; come, sir boy, come follow me.
- Sir boy, I’ll whip you from your foining fence,
- Nay, as I am a gentleman, I will.
Antonio94 - 98
- Content yourself. God knows I lov’d my niece,
- And she is dead, slander’d to death by villains,
- That dare as well answer a man indeed
- As I dare take a serpent by the tongue.
- Boys, apes, braggarts, Jacks, milksops!
- Brother Anthony—
Antonio100 - 107
- Hold you content. What, man! I know them, yea,
- And what they weigh, even to the utmost scruple—
- Scambling, outfacing, fashion-monging boys,
- That lie and cog and flout, deprave and slander,
- Go anticly, and show outward hideousness,
- And speak off half a dozen dang’rous words,
- How they might hurt their enemies—if they durst—
- And this is all.
- But, brother Anthony—
Antonio109 - 110
- Come, ’tis no matter;
- Do not you meddle, let me deal in this.
Don Pedro111 - 114
- Gentlemen both, we will not wake your patience.
- My heart is sorry for your daughter’s death;
- But on my honor she was charg’d with nothing
- But what was true, and very full of proof.
- My lord, my lord—
- I will not hear you.
- No? Come, brother, away! I will be heard.
- And shall, or some of us will smart for it.
- Exeunt ambo Leonato and Antonio.
- Enter Benedick.
- See, see, here comes the man we went to seek.
- Now, signior, what news?
- Good day, my lord.
- Welcome, signior, you are almost come to part almost a fray.
Claudio123 - 124
- We had lik’d to have had our two noses snapp’d off with two
- old men without teeth.
Don Pedro125 - 126
- Leonato and his brother. What think’st thou? Had we fought,
- I doubt we should have been too young for them.
Benedick127 - 128
- In a false quarrel there is no true valor. I came to seek
- you both.
Claudio129 - 131
- We have been up and down to seek thee, for we are high-proof
- melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away. Wilt thou
- use thy wit?
- It is in my scabbard, shall I draw it?
- Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side?
Claudio134 - 136
- Never any did so, though very many have been beside their
- wit. I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels, draw to
- pleasure us.
Don Pedro137 - 138
- As I am an honest man, he looks pale. Art thou sick, or
Claudio139 - 140
- What, courage, man! What though care kill’d a cat, thou hast
- mettle enough in thee to kill care.
Benedick141 - 142
- Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, and you charge it
- against me. I pray you choose another subject.
- Nay then give him another staff, this last was broke cross.
Don Pedro144 - 145
- By this light, he changes more and more. I think he be angry
- If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle.
- Shall I speak a word in your ear?
- God bless me from a challenge!
Benedick149 - 152
- Aside to Claudio
- You are a villain. I jest not; I will make it good how you
- dare, with what you dare, and when you dare. Do me right; or
- I will protest your cowardice. You have kill’d a sweet lady,
- and her death shall fall heavy on you. Let me hear from you.
- Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer.
- What, a feast, a feast?
Claudio155 - 157
- I’ faith, I thank him, he hath bid me to a calve’s-head and
- a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say my
- knife’s naught. Shall I not find a woodcock too?
- Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes easily.
Don Pedro159 - 170
- I’ll tell thee how Beatrice prais’d thy wit the other day. I
- said thou hadst a fine wit. “True,” said she, “a fine little
- one.” “No,” said I, “a great wit.” “Right,” says she, “a
- great gross one.” “Nay,” said I, “a good wit.” “Just,” said
- she, “it hurts nobody.” “Nay,” said I, “the gentleman is
- wise.” “Certain,” said she, “a wise gentleman.” “Nay,” said
- I, “he hath the tongues.” “That I believe,” said she, “for
- he swore a thing to me on Monday night, which he forswore on
- Tuesday morning. There’s a double tongue, there’s two
- tongues.” Thus did she an hour together trans-shape thy
- particular virtues, yet at last she concluded with a sigh,
- thou wast the proper’st man in Italy.
- For the which she wept heartily and said she car’d not.
Don Pedro172 - 174
- Yea, that she did, but yet for all that, and if she did not
- hate him deadly, she would love him dearly. The old man’s
- daughter told us all.
Claudio175 - 176
- All, all, and, moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the
Don Pedro177 - 178
- But when shall we set the savage bull’s horns on the
- sensible Benedick’s head?
Claudio179 - 180
- Yea, and text underneath, “Here dwells Benedick the married
Benedick181 - 188
- Fare you well, boy, you know my mind. I will leave you now
- to your gossip-like humor. You break jests as braggarts do
- their blades, which, God be thank’d, hurt not. My lord, for
- your many courtesies I thank you. I must discontinue your
- company. Your brother the bastard is fled from Messina. You
- have among you kill’d a sweet and innocent lady. For my Lord
- Lack-beard there, he and I shall meet, and till then peace
- be with him.
- He is in earnest.
Claudio190 - 191
- In most profound earnest, and I’ll warrant you, for the love
- of Beatrice.
- And hath challeng’d thee?
- Most sincerely.
Don Pedro194 - 195
- What a pretty thing man is when he goes in his doublet and
- hose and leaves off his wit!
- Enter Constables Dogberry and Verges, and the Watch with
- Conrade and Borachio.
Claudio196 - 197
- He is then a giant to an ape, but then is an ape a doctor to
- such a man.
Don Pedro198 - 199
- But soft you, let me be. Pluck up, my heart, and be sad. Did
- he not say my brother was fled?
Dogberry200 - 202
- Come you, sir. If justice cannot tame you, she shall ne’er
- weigh more reasons in her balance. Nay, and you be a cursing
- hypocrite once, you must be look’d to.
- How now? Two of my brother’s men bound? Borachio one!
- Hearken after their offense, my lord.
- Officers, what offense have these men done?
Dogberry206 - 210
- Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover they
- have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth
- and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have
- verified unjust things; and to conclude, they are lying
Don Pedro211 - 213
- First, I ask thee what they have done; thirdly, I ask thee
- what’s their offense; sixth and lastly, why they are
- committed; and to conclude, what you lay to their charge.
Claudio214 - 215
- Rightly reason’d, and in his own division, and by my troth
- there’s one meaning well suited.
Don Pedro216 - 218
- Who have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to
- your answer? This learned constable is too cunning to be
- understood. What’s your offense?
Borachio219 - 230
- Sweet Prince, let me go no farther to mine answer: do you
- hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceiv’d even
- your very eyes. What your wisdoms could not discover, these
- shallow fools have brought to light, who in the night
- overheard me confessing to this man how Don John your
- brother incens’d me to slander the Lady Hero, how you were
- brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in
- Hero’s garments, how you disgrac’d her when you should marry
- her. My villainy they have upon record, which I had rather
- seal with my death than repeat over to my shame. The lady is
- dead upon mine and my master’s false accusation; and
- briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain.
- Runs not this speech like iron through your blood?
- I have drunk poison whiles he utter’d it.
- But did my brother set thee on to this?
- Yea, and paid me richly for the practice of it.
Don Pedro235 - 236
- He is compos’d and fram’d of treachery,
- And fled he is upon this villainy.
Claudio237 - 238
- Sweet Hero, now thy image doth appear
- In the rare semblance that I lov’d it first.
Dogberry239 - 242
- Come, bring away the plaintiffs. By this time our sexton
- hath reform’d Signior Leonato of the matter; and, masters,
- do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve,
- that I am an ass.
- Here, here comes Master Signior Leonato, and the sexton too.
- Enter Leonato, his brother Antonio, and the Sexton.
Leonato244 - 246
- Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes,
- That when I note another man like him
- I may avoid him. Which of these is he?
- If you would know your wronger, look on me.
Leonato248 - 249
- Art thou the slave that with thy breath hast kill’d
- Mine innocent child?
- Yea, even I alone.
Leonato251 - 256
- No, not so, villain, thou beliest thyself.
- Here stand a pair of honorable men,
- A third is fled, that had a hand in it.
- I thank you, princes, for my daughter’s death;
- Record it with your high and worthy deeds.
- ’Twas bravely done, if you bethink you of it.
Claudio257 - 261
- I know not how to pray your patience,
- Yet I must speak. Choose your revenge yourself,
- Impose me to what penance your invention
- Can lay upon my sin; yet sinn’d I not,
- But in mistaking.
Don Pedro262 - 265
- By my soul, nor I,
- And yet, to satisfy this good old man,
- I would bend under any heavy weight
- That he’ll enjoin me to.
Leonato266 - 279
- I cannot bid you bid my daughter live—
- That were impossible—but I pray you both,
- Possess the people in Messina here
- How innocent she died, and if your love
- Can labor aught in sad invention,
- Hang her an epitaph upon her tomb,
- And sing it to her bones, sing it tonight.
- Tomorrow morning come you to my house,
- And since you could not be my son-in-law,
- Be yet my nephew. My brother hath a daughter,
- Almost the copy of my child that’s dead,
- And she alone is heir to both of us.
- Give her the right you should have giv’n her cousin,
- And so dies my revenge.
Claudio280 - 283
- O noble sir!
- Your overkindness doth wring tears from me.
- I do embrace your offer, and dispose
- For henceforth of poor Claudio.
Leonato284 - 288
- Tomorrow then I will expect your coming,
- Tonight I take my leave. This naughty man
- Shall face to face be brought to Margaret,
- Who I believe was pack’d in all this wrong,
- Hir’d to it by your brother.
Borachio289 - 292
- No, by my soul she was not,
- Nor knew not what she did when she spoke to me,
- But always hath been just and virtuous
- In any thing that I do know by her.
Dogberry293 - 301
- Moreover, sir, which indeed is not under white and black,
- this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass. I
- beseech you let it be rememb’red in his punishment. And
- also, the watch heard them talk of one Deformed. They say he
- wears a key in his ear and a lock hanging by it, and borrows
- money in God’s name, the which he hath us’d so long and
- never paid that now men grow hard-hearted and will lend
- nothing for God’s sake. Pray you examine him upon that
- I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.
Dogberry303 - 304
- Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverent youth,
- and I praise God for you.
- There’s for thy pains.
- God save the foundation!
- Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I thank thee.
Dogberry308 - 313
- I leave an arrant knave with your worship, which I beseech
- your worship to correct yourself, for the example of others.
- God keep your worship! I wish your worship well. God restore
- you to health! I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a
- merry meeting may be wish’d, God prohibit it! Come,
- Exeunt Dogberry and Verges.
- Until tomorrow morning, lords, farewell.
- Farewell, my lords, we look for you tomorrow.
- We will not fail.
- Tonight I’ll mourn with Hero.
Leonato318 - 319
- To the Watch.
- Bring you these fellows on.—We’ll talk with Margaret,
- How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow.
- Exeunt severally.