The Merry Wives of Windsor
Act 1, Scene 1
Windsor. A street in front of Page’s house.
- Enter Justice Shallow, Slender, Sir Hugh Evans.
Shallow2 - 4
- Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter
- of it. If he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not
- abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
- In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace and Coram.
- Ay, cousin Slender, and Custa-lorum.
Slender7 - 9
- Ay, and Rato-lorum too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson,
- who writes himself Armigero, in any bill, warrant,
- quittance, or obligation, Armigero.
Shallow10 - 11
- Ay, that I do, and have done any time these three hundred
Slender12 - 14
- All his successors (gone before him) hath done’t; and all
- his ancestors (that come after him) may. They may give the
- dozen white luces in their coat.
- It is an old coat.
Evans16 - 18
- The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees
- well, passant. It is a familiar beast to man, and signifies
- The luce is the fresh fish, the salt fish is an old coat.
- I may quarter, coz.
- You may, by marrying.
- It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
- Not a whit.
Evans24 - 29
- Yes, py’r lady. If he has a quarter of your coat, there is
- but three skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures. But
- that is all one. If Sir John Falstaff have committed
- disparagements unto you, I am of the church, and will be
- glad to do my benevolence to make atonements and compromises
- between you.
- The Council shall hear it, it is a riot.
Evans31 - 34
- It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of
- Got in a riot. The Council, look you, shall desire to hear
- the fear of Got, and not to hear a riot. Take your vizaments
- in that.
Shallow35 - 36
- Ha! O’ my life, if I were young again, the sword should end
Evans37 - 41
- It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it; and
- there is also another device in my prain, which peradventure
- prings goot discretions with it: there is Anne Page, which
- is daughter to Master George Page, which is pretty
Slender42 - 43
- Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small
- like a woman.
Evans44 - 50
- It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will
- desire, and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and
- silver, is her grandsire upon his death’s-bed (Got deliver
- to a joyful resurrections!) give, when she is able to
- overtake seventeen years old. It were a goot motion if we
- leave our pribbles and prabbles, and desire a marriage
- between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
- Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
- Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
- I know the young gentlewoman, she has good gifts.
- Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
- Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
Evans56 - 61
- Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise
- one that is false, or as I despise one that is not true. The
- knight Sir John is there, and I beseech you be rul’d by your
- well-willers. I will peat the door for Master Page.
- What ho! Got pless your house here!
George62 - 63
- Who’s there?
- Enter Page.
Evans65 - 68
- Here is Got’s plessing, and your friend, and Justice
- Shallow, and here young Master Slender, that peradventures
- shall tell you another tale, if matters grow to your
George69 - 70
- I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my
- venison, Master Shallow.
Shallow71 - 74
- Master Page, I am glad to see you. Much good do it your good
- heart! I wish’d your venison better, it was ill kill’d. How
- doth good Mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my
- heart, la! With my heart.
- Sir, I thank you.
- Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
- I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
Slender78 - 79
- How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was
- outrun on Cotsall.
- It could not be judg’d, sir.
- You’ll not confess, you’ll not confess.
Shallow82 - 83
- That he will not. ’Tis your fault, ’tis your fault; ’tis a
- good dog.
- A cur, sir.
Shallow85 - 86
- Sir! He’s a good dog, and a fair dog—can there be more said?
- He is good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
George87 - 88
- Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office
- between you.
- It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
- He hath wrong’d me, Master Page.
- Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
Shallow92 - 95
- If it be confess’d, it is not redress’d. Is not that so,
- Master Page? He hath wrong’d me, indeed he hath, at a word
- he hath. Believe me, Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is
- Here comes Sir John.
- Enter Sir John Falstaff, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol.
- Now, Master Shallow, you’ll complain of me to the King?
Shallow99 - 100
- Knight, you have beaten my men, kill’d my deer, and broke
- open my lodge.
- But not kiss’d your keeper’s daughter?
- Tut, a pin! This shall be answer’d.
Falstaff103 - 104
- I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now
- The Council shall know this.
Falstaff106 - 107
- ’Twere better for you if it were known in counsel. You’ll be
- laugh’d at.
- Pauca verba; Sir John, good worts.
Falstaff109 - 110
- Good worts? Good cabbage. Slender, I broke your head; what
- matter have you against me?
Slender111 - 114
- Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you, and
- against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and
- Pistol. They carried me to the tavern and made me drunk, and
- afterward pick’d my pocket.
- You Banbury cheese!
- Ay, it is no matter.
- How now, Mephostophilus?
- Ay, it is no matter.
- Slice, I say! Pauca, pauca. Slice, that’s my humor.
- Where’s Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
Evans121 - 125
- Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three
- umpires in this matter, as I understand: that is, Master
- Page (fidelicet Master Page) and there is myself (fidelicet
- myself) and the three party is (lastly and finally) mine
- host of the Garter.
- We three to hear it and end it between them.
Evans127 - 129
- Fery goot. I will make a prief of it in my note-book, and we
- will afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly
- as we can.
- He hears with ears.
Evans132 - 133
- The tevil and his tam! What phrase is this? “He hears with
- ear”? Why, it is affectations.
- Pistol, did you pick Master Slender’s purse?
Slender135 - 139
- Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might never come
- in mine own great chamber again else, of seven groats in
- mill-sixpences, and two Edward shovel-boards, that cost me
- two shilling and two pence a-piece of Yead Miller—by these
- Is this true, Pistol?
- No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
Pistol142 - 145
- Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John, and master mine,
- I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
- Word of denial in thy labras here!
- Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest!
- By these gloves, then ’twas he.
Nym147 - 149
- Be avis’d, sir, and pass good humors. I will say “marry
- trap” with you, if you run the nuthook’s humor on me—that is
- the very note of it.
Slender150 - 152
- By this hat, then he in the red face had it; for though I
- cannot remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am
- not altogether an ass.
- What say you, Scarlet and John?
Bardolph154 - 155
- Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself
- out of his five sentences.
- It is his five senses. Fie, what the ignorance is!
Bardolph157 - 158
- And being fap, sir, was (as they say) cashier’d; and so
- conclusions pass’d the careers.
Slender159 - 163
- Ay, you spake in Latin then too: but ’tis no matter; I’ll
- ne’er be drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil,
- godly company, for this trick. If I be drunk, I’ll be drunk
- with those that have the fear of God, and not with drunken
- So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
- You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
- Enter Anne Page with wine, Mistress Ford, Mistress Page.
- Nay, daughter, carry the wine in, we’ll drink within.
- Exit Anne Page.
- O heaven! This is Mistress Anne Page.
- How now, Mistress Ford?
Falstaff171 - 172
- Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met. By your
- leave, good mistress.
- Kisses her.
George174 - 176
- Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot
- venison pasty to dinner. Come, gentlemen, I hope we shall
- drink down all unkindness.
- Exeunt all except Shallow, Slender, and Evans.
Slender178 - 183
- I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and
- Sonnets here.
- Enter Simple.
- How now, Simple, where have you been? I must wait on myself,
- must I? You have not the Book of Riddles about you, have
Simple184 - 185
- Book of Riddles? Why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake
- upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
Shallow186 - 189
- Come, coz, come, coz, we stay for you. A word with you, coz;
- marry, this, coz: there is as ’twere a tender, a kind of
- tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh here. Do you understand
Slender190 - 191
- Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable. If it be so, I shall
- do that that is reason.
- Nay, but understand me.
- So I do, sir.
Evans194 - 195
- Give ear to his motions: Master Slender, I will description
- the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Slender196 - 198
- Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says. I pray you pardon
- me; he’s a Justice of Peace in his country, simple though I
- stand here.
Evans199 - 200
- But that is not the question: the question is concerning
- your marriage.
- Ay, there’s the point, sir.
- Marry, is it; the very point of it—to Mistress Anne Page.
Slender203 - 204
- Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable
Evans205 - 208
- But can you affection the oman? Let us command to know that
- of your mouth, or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold
- that the lips is parcel of the mouth. Therefore precisely,
- can you carry your good will to the maid?
- Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
Slender210 - 211
- I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do
Evans212 - 213
- Nay, Got’s lords and his ladies, you must speak possitable,
- if you can carry her your desires towards her.
- That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
Slender215 - 216
- I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request,
- cousin, in any reason.
Shallow217 - 218
- Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to
- pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid?
Slender219 - 224
- I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no
- great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon
- better acquaintance, when we are married and have more
- occasion to know one another. I hope, upon familiarity will
- grow more content. But if you say, “Marry her,” I will marry
- her; that I am freely dissolv’d, and dissolutely.
Evans225 - 227
- It is a fery discretion answer, save the fall is in the ord
- “dissolutely.” The ort is (according to our meaning)
- “resolutely.” His meaning is good.
- Ay—I think my cousin meant well.
- Ay, or else I would I might be hang’d, la!
Shallow230 - 232
- Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
- Enter Anne Page.
- Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
Anne233 - 234
- The dinner is on the table. My father desires your worships’
- I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne.
- ’Od’s plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
- Exeunt Shallow and Evans.
- Will’t please your worship to come in, sir?
- No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
- The dinner attends you, sir.
Slender241 - 247
- I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for
- all you are my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow.
- Exit Simple.
- A Justice of Peace sometime may be beholding to his friend
- for a man. I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my
- mother be dead. But what though? Yet I live like a poor
- gentleman born.
Anne248 - 249
- I may not go in without your worship; they will not sit till
- you come.
Slender250 - 251
- I’ faith, I’ll eat nothing. I thank you as much as though I
- I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slender253 - 257
- I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruis’d my shin th’
- other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of
- fence (three veneys for a dish of stew’d prunes) and by my
- troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do
- your dogs bark so? Be there bears i’ th’ town?
- I think there are, sir, I heard them talk’d of.
Slender259 - 261
- I love the sport well, but I shall as soon quarrel at it as
- any man in England. You are afraid if you see the bear
- loose, are you not?
- Ay indeed, sir.
Slender263 - 267
- That’s meat and drink to me, now. I have seen Sackerson
- loose twenty times, and have taken him by the chain; but (I
- warrant you) the women have so cried and shriek’d at it,
- that it pass’d. But women, indeed, cannot abide ’em, they
- are very ill-favor’d rough things.
- Enter Page.
- Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
- I’ll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
- By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! Come, come.
- Nay, pray you lead the way.
- Come on, sir.
- Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
- Not I, sir, pray you keep on.
Slender276 - 277
- Truly I will not go first; truly la! I will not do you that
- I pray you, sir.
Slender279 - 280
- I’ll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself
- wrong indeed la!