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Henry IV, Pt. 2: Act III, Scene 2

Henry IV, Pt. 2
Act III, Scene 2

Gloucestershire . Court before Shallow’s house .

  1. Enter Justice Shallow and Justice Silence , meeting ; Mouldy ,
  2. Shadow , Wart , Feeble , Bullcalf , and Servants behind .

Shallow

1 - 3
  1. Come on , come on , come on , give me your hand , sir , give me
  2. your hand , sir . An early stirrer , by the rood ! And how doth
  3. my good cousin Silence ?

Silence

4
  1. Good morrow , good cousin Shallow .

Shallow

5 - 6
  1. And how doth my cousin , your bedfellow ? And your fairest
  2. daughter and mine , my goddaughter Ellen ?

Silence

7
  1. Alas , a black woosel , cousin Shallow !

Shallow

8 - 9
  1. By yea and no , sir . I dare say my cousin William is become a
  2. good scholar . He is at Oxford still , is he not ?

Silence

10
  1. Indeed , sir , to my cost .

Shallow

11 - 13
  1. ’A must then to the Inns a’ Court shortly . I was once of
  2. Clement’s Inn , where I think they will talk of mad Shallow
  3. yet .

Silence

14
  1. You were call’d lusty Shallow then , cousin .

Shallow

15 - 23
  1. By the mass , I was call’d any thing , and I would have done
  2. any thing indeed too , and roundly too . There was I , and
  3. little John Doit of Staffords hire , and black George Barnes ,
  4. and Francis Pickbone , and Will Squele , a Cotsole man . You
  5. had not four such swingebucklers in all the Inns a’ Court
  6. again ; and I may say to you , we knew where the bona robas
  7. were and had the best of them all at commandment . Then was
  8. Jack Falstaff , now Sir John , a boy , and page to Thomas
  9. Mowbray , Duke of Norfolk .

Silence

24 - 25
  1. This Sir John , cousin , that comes hither anon about
  2. soldiers ?

Shallow

26 - 31
  1. The same Sir John , the very same . I see him break Scoggin’s
  2. head at the court - gate , when ’a was a crack not thus high ;
  3. and the very same day did I fight with one Samson Stockfish ,
  4. a fruiterer , behind Gray’s Inn . Jesu , Jesu , the mad days
  5. that I have spent ! And to see how many of my old
  6. acquaintance are dead !

Silence

32
  1. We shall all follow , cousin .

Shallow

33 - 35
  1. Certain , ’tis certain , very sure , very sure . Death , as the
  2. Psalmist saith , is certain to all , all shall die . How a good
  3. yoke of bullocks at Stamford fair ?

Silence

36
  1. By my troth , I was not there .

Shallow

37
  1. Death is certain . Is old Double of your town living yet ?

Silence

38
  1. Dead , sir .

Shallow

39 - 44
  1. Jesu , Jesu , dead ! ’A drew a good bow , and dead ! ’A shot a
  2. fine shoot . John a’ Gaunt lov’d him well , and betted much
  3. money on his head . Dead ! ’A would have clapp’d i’ th’ clout
  4. at twelvescore , and carried you a forehand shaft a fourteen
  5. and fourteen and a half , that it would have done a man’s
  6. heart good to see . How a score of ewes now ?

Silence

45 - 46
  1. Thereafter as they be , a score of good ewes may be worth ten
  2. pounds .

Shallow

47
  1. And is old Double dead ?

Silence

48
  1. Here come two of Sir John Falstaff’s men , as I think .
  1. Enter Bardolph and one with him .

Shallow

49
  1. Good morrow , honest gentlemen .

Bardolph

50
  1. I beseech you , which is Justice Shallow ?

Shallow

51 - 53
  1. I am Robert Shallow , sir , a poor esquire of this county , and
  2. one of the King’s justices of the peace . What is your good
  3. pleasure with me ?

Bardolph

54 - 56
  1. My captain , sir , commends him to you , my captain , Sir John
  2. Falstaff , a tall gentleman , by heaven , and a most gallant
  3. leader .

Shallow

57 - 58
  1. He greets me well , sir . I knew him a good backsword man . How
  2. doth the good knight ? May I ask how my lady his wife doth ?

Bardolph

59 - 60
  1. Sir , pardon , a soldier is better accommodated than with a
  2. wife .

Shallow

61 - 65
  1. It is well said , in faith , sir , and it is well said indeed
  2. too . Better accommodated ! It is good , yea indeed is it . Good
  3. phrases are surely , and ever were , very commendable .
  4. Accommodated ! It comes of accommodo , very good , a good
  5. phrase .

Bardolph

66 - 72
  1. Pardon , sir , I have heard the word . Phrase call you it ? By
  2. this day , I know not the phrase , but I will maintain the
  3. word with my sword to be a soldier - like word , and a word of
  4. exceeding good command , by heaven . Accommodated : that is ,
  5. when a man is , as they say , accommodated , or when a man is
  6. being whereby ’a may be thought to be accommodated which is
  7. an excellent thing .
  1. Enter Falstaff .

Shallow

73 - 76
  1. It is very just . Look , here comes good Sir John . Give me
  2. your good hand , give me your worship’s good hand . By my
  3. troth , you like well and bear your years very well . Welcome ,
  4. good Sir John .

Falstaff

77 - 78
  1. I am glad to see you well , good Master Robert Shallow .
  2. Master Surecard , as I think ?

Shallow

79 - 80
  1. No , Sir John , it is my cousin Silence , in commission with
  2. me .

Falstaff

81 - 82
  1. Good Master Silence , it well befits you should be of the
  2. peace .

Silence

83
  1. Your good worship is welcome .

Falstaff

84 - 85
  1. Fie , this is hot weather , gentlemen . Have you provided me
  2. here half a dozen sufficient men ?

Shallow

86
  1. Marry , have we , sir . Will you sit ?

Falstaff

87
  1. Let me see them , I beseech you .

Shallow

88 - 91
  1. Where’s the roll ? Where’s the roll ? Where’s the roll ? Let me
  2. see , let me see , let me see . So , so , so , so , so , so , so ;
  3. yea , marry , sir . Rafe Mouldy ! Let them appear as I call ; let
  4. them do so , let them do so . Let me see , where is Mouldy ?

Mouldy

92
  1. Here , and’t please you .

Shallow

93 - 94
  1. What think you , Sir John ? A good - limb’d fellow , young ,
  2. strong , and of good friends .

Falstaff

95
  1. Is thy name Mouldy ?

Mouldy

96
  1. Yea , and’t please you .

Falstaff

97
  1. ’Tis the more time thou wert us’d .

Shallow

98 - 100
  1. Ha , ha , ha ! Most excellent , i’ faith ! Things that are moldy
  2. lack use . Very singular good , in faith , well said , Sir John ,
  3. very well said .

Falstaff

101
  1. Prick him .

Mouldy

102 - 105
  1. I was prick’d well enough before , and you could have let me
  2. alone . My old dame will be undone now for one to do her
  3. husbandry and her drudgery . You need not to have prick’d me ,
  4. there are other men fitter to go out than I .

Falstaff

106 - 107
  1. Go to , peace , Mouldy , you shall go . Mouldy , it is time you
  2. were spent .

Mouldy

108
  1. Spent ?

Shallow

109 - 110
  1. Peace , fellow , peace , stand aside , know you where you are ?
  2. For th’ other , Sir John , let me see : Simon Shadow !

Falstaff

111 - 112
  1. Yea , marry , let me have him to sit under , he’s like to be a
  2. cold soldier .

Shallow

113
  1. Where’s Shadow ?

Shadow

114
  1. Here , sir .

Falstaff

115
  1. Shadow , whose son art thou ?

Shadow

116
  1. My mother’s son , sir .

Falstaff

117 - 119
  1. Thy mother’s son ! Like enough , and thy father’s shadow . So
  2. the son of the female is the shadow of the male . It is often
  3. so indeed , but much of the father’s substance !

Shallow

120
  1. Do you like him , Sir John ?

Falstaff

121 - 122
  1. Shadow will serve for summer , prick him , aside for we have a
  2. number of shadows fill up the muster - book .

Shallow

123
  1. Thomas Wart !

Falstaff

124
  1. Where’s he ?

Wart

125
  1. Here , sir .

Falstaff

126
  1. Is thy name Wart ?

Wart

127
  1. Yea , sir .

Falstaff

128
  1. Thou art a very ragged wart .

Shallow

129
  1. Shall I prick him , Sir John ?

Falstaff

130 - 131
  1. It were superfluous , for ’s apparel is built upon his back ,
  2. and the whole frame stands upon pins . Prick him no more .

Shallow

132 - 133
  1. Ha , ha , ha ! You can do it , sir , you can do it , I commend you
  2. well . Francis Feeble !

Feeble

134
  1. Here , sir .

Shallow

135
  1. What trade art thou , Feeble ?

Feeble

136
  1. A woman’s tailor , sir .

Shallow

137
  1. Shall I prick him , sir ?

Falstaff

138 - 140
  1. You may , but if he had been a man’s tailor , he’d ’a’ prick’d
  2. you . Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemy’s battle as
  3. thou hast done in a woman’s petticoat ?

Feeble

141
  1. I will do my good will , sir , you can have no more .

Falstaff

142 - 145
  1. Well said , good woman’s tailor ! Well said , courageous
  2. Feeble ! Thou wilt be as valiant as the wrathful dove or most
  3. magnanimous mouse . Prick the woman’s tailor . Well , Master
  4. Shallow , deep , Master Shallow .

Feeble

146
  1. I would Wart might have gone , sir .

Falstaff

147 - 150
  1. I would thou wert a man’s tailor , that thou mightst mend him
  2. and make him fit to go . I cannot put him to a private
  3. soldier that is the leader of so many thousands . Let that
  4. suffice , most forcible Feeble .

Feeble

151
  1. It shall suffice , sir .

Falstaff

152
  1. I am bound to thee , reverend Feeble . Who is next ?

Shallow

153
  1. Peter Bullcalf o’ th’ green !

Falstaff

154
  1. Yea , marry , let’s see Bullcalf .

Bullcalf

155
  1. Here , sir .

Falstaff

156 - 157
  1. ’Fore God , a likely fellow ! Come prick Bullcalf till he roar
  2. again .

Bullcalf

158
  1. O Lord , good my lord captain

Falstaff

159
  1. What , dost thou roar before thou art prick’d ?

Bullcalf

160
  1. O Lord , sir , I am a diseas’d man .

Falstaff

161
  1. What disease hast thou ?

Bullcalf

162 - 163
  1. A whoreson cold , sir , a cough , sir , which I caught with
  2. ringing in the King’s affairs upon his coronation - day , sir .

Falstaff

164 - 166
  1. Come , thou shalt go to the wars in a gown . We will have away
  2. thy cold , and I will take such order that thy friends shall
  3. ring for thee . Is here all ?

Shallow

167 - 168
  1. Here is two more call’d than your number , you must have but
  2. four here , sir . And so I pray you go in with me to dinner .

Falstaff

169 - 170
  1. Come , I will go drink with you , but I cannot tarry dinner . I
  2. am glad to see you , by my troth , Master Shallow .

Shallow

171 - 172
  1. O Sir John , do you remember since we lay all night in the
  2. Windmill in Saint George’s Field ?

Falstaff

173
  1. No more of that , Master Shallow , no more of that .

Shallow

174
  1. Ha , ’twas a merry night . And is Jane Nightwork alive ?

Falstaff

175
  1. She lives , Master Shallow .

Shallow

176
  1. She never could away with me .

Falstaff

177 - 178
  1. Never , never , she would always say she could not abide
  2. Master Shallow .

Shallow

179 - 180
  1. By the mass , I could anger her to th’ heart . She was then a
  2. bona roba . Doth she hold her own well ?

Falstaff

181
  1. Old , old , Master Shallow .

Shallow

182 - 184
  1. Nay , she must be old , she cannot choose but be old , certain
  2. she’s old , and had Robin Nightwork by old Nightwork before I
  3. came to Clement’s Inn .

Silence

185
  1. That’s fifty - five year ago .

Shallow

186 - 187
  1. Ha , cousin Silence , that thou hadst seen that that this
  2. knight and I have seen ! Ha , Sir John , said I well ?

Falstaff

188
  1. We have heard the chimes at midnight , Master Shallow .

Shallow

189 - 192
  1. That we have , that we have , that we have , in faith , Sir
  2. John , we have . Our watch - word was Hem , boys !” Come let’s to
  3. dinner , come let’s to dinner . Jesus , the days that we have
  4. seen ! Come , come .
  1. Exeunt Falstaff and the Justices .

Bullcalf

193 - 199
  1. Good Master Corporate Bardolph , stand my friend , and here’s
  2. four Harry ten shillings in French crowns for you . In very
  3. truth , sir , I had as live be hang’d , sir , as go , and yet for
  4. mine own part , sir , I do not care , but rather , because I am
  5. unwilling , and for mine own part , have a desire to stay with
  6. my friends , else , sir , I did not care for mine own part so
  7. much .

Bardolph

200
  1. Go to , stand aside .

Mouldy

201 - 204
  1. And , good Master Corporal Captain , for my old dame’s sake
  2. stand my friend . She has nobody to do any thing about her
  3. when I am gone , and she is old , and cannot help herself . You
  4. shall have forty , sir .

Bardolph

205
  1. Go to , stand aside .

Feeble

206 - 210
  1. By my troth I care not ; a man can die but once , we owe God a
  2. death . I’ll ne’er bear a base mind . And’t be my dest’ny , so ;
  3. and’t be not , so . No man’s too good to serve ’s prince , and
  4. let it go which way it will , he that dies this year is quit
  5. for the next .

Bardolph

211
  1. Well said , th’ art a good fellow .

Feeble

212
  1. Faith , I’ll bear no base mind .
  1. Enter Falstaff and the Justices .

Falstaff

213
  1. Come , sir , which men shall I have ?

Shallow

214
  1. Four of which you please .

Bardolph

215 - 216
  1. To Falstaff .
  2. Sir , a word with you .
  3. Aside .
  4. I have three pound to free Mouldy and Bullcalf .

Falstaff

217
  1. Go to , well .

Shallow

218
  1. Come , Sir John , which four will you have ?

Falstaff

219
  1. Do you choose for me .

Shallow

220
  1. Marry , then , Mouldy , Bullcalf , Feeble , and Shadow .

Falstaff

221 - 223
  1. Mouldy and Bullcalf ! For you , Mouldy , stay at home till you
  2. are past service ; and for your part , Bullcalf , grow till you
  3. come unto it . I will none of you .

Shallow

224 - 225
  1. Sir John , Sir John , do not yourself wrong . They are your
  2. likeliest men , and I would have you serv’d with the best .

Falstaff

226 - 238
  1. Will you tell me , Master Shallow , how to choose a man ? Care
  2. I for the limb , the thews , the stature , bulk , and big
  3. assemblance of a man ? Give me the spirit , Master Shallow .
  4. Here’s Wart , you see what a ragged appearance it is . ’A
  5. shall charge you and discharge you with the motion of a
  6. pewterer’s hammer , come off and on swifter than he that
  7. gibbets on the brewer’s bucket . And this same half - fac’d
  8. fellow , Shadow , give me this man . He presents no mark to the
  9. enemy , the foeman may with as great aim level at the edge of
  10. a penknife . And for a retreat , how swiftly will this Feeble
  11. the woman’s tailor run off ! O , give me the spare men , and
  12. spare me the great ones . Put me a caliver into Wart’s hand ,
  13. Bardolph .

Bardolph

239
  1. Hold , Wart , traverse ! Thas , thas , thas .

Falstaff

240 - 243
  1. Come manage me your caliver . So very well , go to , very good ,
  2. exceeding good . O , give me always a little , lean , old ,
  3. chopp’d , bald shot . Well said , i’ faith , Wart , th’ art a
  4. good scab . Hold , there’s a tester for thee .

Shallow

244 - 251
  1. He is not his craft’s master , he doth not do it right . I
  2. remember at Mile - end Green , when I lay at Clement’s Inn I
  3. was then Sir Dagonet in Arthur’s show there was a little
  4. quiver fellow , and ’a would manage you his piece thus , and
  5. ’a would about and about , and come you in and come you in .
  6. Rah , tah , tah ,” would ’a say , bounce ,” would ’a say , and
  7. away again would ’a go , and again would ’a come . I shall
  8. ne’er see such a fellow .

Falstaff

252 - 255
  1. These fellows woll do well , Master Shallow . God keep you ,
  2. Master Silence , I will not use many words with you . Fare you
  3. well , gentlemen both , I thank you . I must a dozen mile
  4. tonight . Bardolph , give the soldiers coats .

Shallow

256 - 259
  1. Sir John , the Lord bless you ! God prosper your affairs ! God
  2. send us peace ! At your return visit our house , let our old
  3. acquaintance be renew’d . Peradventure I will with ye to the
  4. court .

Falstaff

260
  1. ’Fore God , would you would .

Shallow

261
  1. Go to , I have spoke at a word . God keep you !

Falstaff

262 - 292
  1. Fare you well , gentle gentlemen .
  2. Exeunt Justices .
  3. On , Bardolph , lead the men away .
  4. Exeunt Bardolph , recruits , etc .
  5. As I return , I will fetch off these justices . I do see the
  6. bottom of Justice Shallow . Lord , Lord , how subject we old
  7. men are to this vice of lying ! This same starv’d justice
  8. hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his
  9. youth , and the feats he hath done about Turnbull Street , and
  10. every third word a lie , duer paid to the hearer than the
  11. Turk’s tribute . I do remember him at Clement’s Inn , like a
  12. man made after supper of a cheese - paring . When ’a was naked ,
  13. he was for all the world like a fork’d redish , with a head
  14. fantastically carv’d upon it with a knife . ’A was so
  15. forlorn , that his dimensions to any thick sight were
  16. invisible . ’A was the very genius of famine , yet lecherous
  17. as a monkey , and the whores call’d him mandrake . ’A came
  18. ever in the rearward of the fashion , and sung those tunes to
  19. the overscutch’d huswives that he heard the carmen whistle ,
  20. and sware they were his fancies or his good - nights . And now
  21. is this Vice’s dagger become a squire , and talks as
  22. familiarly of John a’ Gaunt as if he had been sworn brother
  23. to him , and I’ll be sworn ’a ne’er saw him but once in the
  24. Tilt - yard , and then he burst his head for crowding among the
  25. marshal’s men . I saw it , and told John a’ Gaunt he beat his
  26. own name , for you might have thrust him and all his apparel
  27. into an eel - skin . The case of a treble hoboy was a mansion
  28. for him , a court , and now has he land and beefs ! Well , I’ll
  29. be acquainted with him if I return , and’t shall go hard but
  30. I’ll make him a philosopher’s two stones to me . If the young
  31. dace be a bait for the old pike , I see no reason in the law
  32. of nature but I may snap at him : let time shape , and there
  33. an end .
  1. Exit .
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