Henry IV, Pt. 2
Act II, Scene 1
London . A street .
- Enter Hostess Quickly of the Tavern and an officer or
- two — Fang and Snare , Snare lagging behind .
- Master Fang , have you ent’red the action ?
- It is ent’red .
Mistress Quickly3 - 4
- Where’s your yeoman ? Is’t a lusty yeoman ?
- Will ’a stand to’t ?
- Sirrah ! Where’s Snare ?
- O Lord , ay ! Good Master Snare .
- Here , here .
- Snare , we must arrest Sir John Falstaff .
- Yea , good Master Snare , I have ent’red him and all .
- It may chance cost some of us our lives , for he will stab .
Mistress Quickly11 - 14
- Alas the day , take heed of him ! He stabb’d me in mine own
- house , most beastly , in good faith . ’A cares not what
- mischief he does , if his weapon be out . He will foin like
- any devil , he will spare neither man , woman , nor child .
- If I can close with him , I care not for his thrust .
- No , nor I neither , I’ll be at your elbow .
- And I but fist him once , and ’a come but within my vice —
Mistress Quickly18 - 34
- I am undone by his going , I warrant you , he’s an infinitive
- thing upon my score . Good Master Fang , hold him sure . Good
- Master Snare , let him not scape . ’a comes continuantly to
- Pie - corner ( saving your manhoods ) to buy a saddle , and he is
- indited to dinner to the Lubber’s Head in Lumbert street , to
- Master Smooth’s the silk - man . I pray you , since my exion is
- ent’red and my case so openly known to the world , let him be
- brought in to his answer . A hundred mark is a long one for a
- poor lone woman to bear , and I have borne , and borne , and
- borne , and have been fubb’d off , and fubb’d off , and fubb’d
- off , from this day to that day , that it is a shame to be
- thought on . There is no honesty in such dealing , unless a
- woman should be made an ass and a beast , to bear every
- knave’s wrong .
- Enter Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph and the Boy Page .
- Yonder he comes , and that arrant malmsey - nose knave ,
- Bardolph , with him . Do your offices , do your offices , Master
- Fang and Master Snare , do me , do me , do me your offices .
- How now , whose mare’s dead ? What’s the matter ?
- I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly .
Falstaff37 - 38
- Away , varlets ! Draw , Bardolph , cut me off the villain’s
- head , throw the quean in the channel .
Mistress Quickly39 - 43
- Throw me in the channel ? I’ll throw thee in the channel .
- Wilt thou ? Wilt thou ? Thou bastardly rogue ! Murder , murder !
- Ah , thou honeysuckle villain ! Wilt thou kill God’s officers
- and the King’s ? Ah , thou honeyseed rogue ! Thou art a
- honeyseed , a man - queller , and a woman - queller .
- Keep them off , Bardolph .
- A rescue ! A rescue !
Mistress Quickly46 - 48
- Good people , bring a rescue or two .
- The Page attacks her .
- Thou wo’t , wo’t thou ? Thou wo’t , wo’t ta ? Do , do , thou
- rogue ! Do , thou hempseed !
Falstaff’s Page49 - 50
- Away , you scullion ! You rampallian ! You fustilarian ! I’ll
- tickle your catastrophe .
- Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men .
Lord Chief Justice51
- What is the matter ? Keep the peace here , ho !
- Good my lord , be good to me ; I beseech you stand to me .
Lord Chief Justice53 - 56
- How now , Sir John ? What are you brawling here ?
- Doth this become your place , your time , and business ?
- You should have been well on your way to York .
- Stand from him , fellow , wherefore hang’st thou upon him ?
Mistress Quickly57 - 58
- O my most worshipful lord , and’t please your Grace , I am a
- poor widow of Eastcheap , and he is arrested at my suit .
Lord Chief Justice59
- For what sum ?
Mistress Quickly60 - 64
- It is more than for some , my lord , it is for all I have . He
- hath eaten me out of house and home , he hath put all my
- substance into that fat belly of his , but I will have some
- of it out again , or I will ride thee a’ nights like the
- mare .
Falstaff65 - 66
- I think I am as like to ride the mare , if I have any vantage
- of ground to get up .
Lord Chief Justice67 - 70
- How comes this , Sir John ? What man of good temper would
- endure this tempest of exclamation ? Are you not asham’d to
- enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her
- own ?
- What is the gross sum that I owe thee ?
Mistress Quickly72 - 88
- Marry , if thou wert an honest man , thyself and the money
- too . Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel - gilt goblet ,
- sitting in my Dauphin chamber , at the round table by a
- sea - coal fire , upon Wednesday in Wheeson week , when the
- Prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing - man
- of Windsor , thou didst swear to me then , as I was washing
- thy wound , to marry me and make me my lady thy wife . Canst
- thou deny it ? Did not goodwife Keech , the butcher’s wife ,
- come in then and call me gossip Quickly ? Coming in to borrow
- a mess of vinegar , telling us she had a good dish of prawns ,
- whereby thou didst desire to eat some , whereby I told thee
- they were ill for a green wound ? And didst thou not , when
- she was gone down stairs , desire me to be no more so
- familiarity with such poor people , saying that ere long they
- should call me madam ? And didst thou not kiss me , and bid me
- fetch thee thirty shillings ? I put thee now to thy
- book - oath . Deny it if thou canst .
Falstaff89 - 93
- My lord , this is a poor mad soul , and she says up and down
- the town that her eldest son is like you . She hath been in
- good case , and the truth is , poverty hath distracted her .
- But for these foolish officers , I beseech you I may have
- redress against them .
Lord Chief Justice94 - 100
- Sir John , Sir John , I am well acquainted with your manner of
- wrenching the true cause the false way . It is not a
- confident brow , nor the throng of words that come with such
- more than impudent sauciness from you , can thrust me from a
- level consideration . You have , as it appears to me ,
- practic’d upon the easy - yielding spirit of this woman , and
- made her serve your uses both in purse and in person .
- Yea , in truth , my lord .
Lord Chief Justice102 - 104
- Pray thee peace . Pay her the debt you owe her , and unpay the
- villainy you have done with her . The one you may do with
- sterling money , and the other with current repentance .
Falstaff105 - 110
- My lord , I will not undergo this sneap without reply . You
- call honorable boldness impudent sauciness ; if a man will
- make curtsy and say nothing , he is virtuous . No , my lord , my
- humble duty rememb’red , I will not be your suitor . I say to
- you , I do desire deliverance from these officers , being upon
- hasty employment in the King’s affairs .
Lord Chief Justice111 - 112
- You speak as having power to do wrong , but answer in th’
- effect of your reputation , and satisfy the poor woman .
- Come hither , hostess .
- Enter a messenger , Master Gower .
Lord Chief Justice114
- Now , Master Gower , what news ?
Gower115 - 116
- The King , my lord , and Harry Prince of Wales
- Are near at hand . The rest the paper tells .
- As I am a gentleman !
- Faith , you said so before .
- As I am a gentleman ! Come , no more words of it .
Mistress Quickly120 - 121
- By this heav’nly ground I tread on , I must be fain to pawn
- both my plate and the tapestry of my dining - chambers .
Falstaff122 - 130
- Glasses , glasses , is the only drinking , and for thy walls , a
- pretty slight drollery , or the story of the Prodigal , or the
- German hunting in waterwork , is worth a thousand of these
- bed - hangers and these fly - bitten tapestries . Let it be ten
- pound , if thou canst . Come , and ’twere not for thy humors ,
- there’s not a better wench in England . Go wash thy face , and
- draw the action . Come , thou must not be in this humor with
- me , dost not know me ? Come , come , I know thou wast set on to
- this .
Mistress Quickly131 - 132
- Pray thee , Sir John , let it be but twenty nobles . I’ faith ,
- I am loath to pawn my plate , so God save me law !
- Let it alone , I’ll make other shift . You’ll be a fool still .
Mistress Quickly134 - 135
- Well , you shall have it , though I pawn my gown . I hope
- you’ll come to supper . You’ll pay me all together ?
Falstaff136 - 137
- Will I live ?
- To Bardolph .
- Go , with her , with her , hook on , hook on .
- Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper ?
- No more words , let’s have her .
- Exeunt Hostess and Fang , Snare , and Bardolph .
Lord Chief Justice140
- I have heard better news .
- What’s the news , my lord ?
Lord Chief Justice142
- Where lay the King tonight ?
- At Basingstoke , my lord .
- I hope , my lord , all’s well . What is the news , my lord ?
Lord Chief Justice145
- Come all his forces back ?
Gower146 - 148
- No , fifteen hundred foot , five hundred horse ,
- Are march’d up to my Lord of Lancaster ,
- Against Northumberland and the Archbishop .
- Comes the King back from Wales , my noble lord ?
Lord Chief Justice150 - 151
- You shall have letters of me presently . Come , go along with
- me , good Master Gower .
- My lord !
Lord Chief Justice153
- What’s the matter ?
- Master Gower , shall I entreat you with me to dinner ?
Gower155 - 156
- I must wait upon my good lord here , I thank you , good Sir
- John .
Lord Chief Justice157 - 158
- Sir John , you loiter here too long , being you are to take
- soldiers up in counties as you go .
- Will you sup with me , Master Gower ?
Lord Chief Justice160
- What foolish master taught you these manners , Sir John ?
Falstaff161 - 163
- Master Gower , if they become me not , he was a fool that
- taught them me . This is the right fencing grace , my lord ,
- tap for tap , and so part fair .
Lord Chief Justice164
- Now the Lord lighten thee ! Thou art a great fool .
- Exeunt .