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Henry IV, Pt. 2: Act II, Scene 1

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Henry IV, Pt. 2
Act II, Scene 1

Scene 1

London . A street .

  1. Enter Hostess Quickly of the Tavern and an officer or
  2. two — Fang and Snare , Snare lagging behind .

Mistress Quickly

1
  1. Master Fang , have you ent’red the action ?

Fang

2
  1. It is ent’red .

Mistress Quickly

3 - 4
  1. Where’s your yeoman ? Is’t a lusty yeoman ?
  2. Will ’a stand to’t ?

Fang

5
  1. Sirrah ! Where’s Snare ?

Mistress Quickly

6
  1. O Lord , ay ! Good Master Snare .

Snare

7
  1. Here , here .

Fang

8
  1. Snare , we must arrest Sir John Falstaff .

Mistress Quickly

9
  1. Yea , good Master Snare , I have ent’red him and all .

Snare

10
  1. It may chance cost some of us our lives , for he will stab .

Mistress Quickly

11 - 14
  1. Alas the day , take heed of him ! He stabb’d me in mine own
  2. house , most beastly , in good faith . ’A cares not what
  3. mischief he does , if his weapon be out . He will foin like
  4. any devil , he will spare neither man , woman , nor child .

Fang

15
  1. If I can close with him , I care not for his thrust .

Mistress Quickly

16
  1. No , nor I neither , I’ll be at your elbow .

Fang

17
  1. And I but fist him once , and ’a come but within my vice —

Mistress Quickly

18 - 34
  1. I am undone by his going , I warrant you , he’s an infinitive
  2. thing upon my score . Good Master Fang , hold him sure . Good
  3. Master Snare , let him not scape . ’a comes continuantly to
  4. Pie - corner ( saving your manhoods ) to buy a saddle , and he is
  5. indited to dinner to the Lubber’s Head in Lumbert street , to
  6. Master Smooth’s the silk - man . I pray you , since my exion is
  7. ent’red and my case so openly known to the world , let him be
  8. brought in to his answer . A hundred mark is a long one for a
  9. poor lone woman to bear , and I have borne , and borne , and
  10. borne , and have been fubb’d off , and fubb’d off , and fubb’d
  11. off , from this day to that day , that it is a shame to be
  12. thought on . There is no honesty in such dealing , unless a
  13. woman should be made an ass and a beast , to bear every
  14. knave’s wrong .
  15. Enter Sir John Falstaff and Bardolph and the Boy Page .
  16. Yonder he comes , and that arrant malmsey - nose knave ,
  17. Bardolph , with him . Do your offices , do your offices , Master
  18. Fang and Master Snare , do me , do me , do me your offices .

Falstaff

35
  1. How now , whose mare’s dead ? What’s the matter ?

Fang

36
  1. I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly .

Falstaff

37 - 38
  1. Away , varlets ! Draw , Bardolph , cut me off the villain’s
  2. head , throw the quean in the channel .

Mistress Quickly

39 - 43
  1. Throw me in the channel ? I’ll throw thee in the channel .
  2. Wilt thou ? Wilt thou ? Thou bastardly rogue ! Murder , murder !
  3. Ah , thou honeysuckle villain ! Wilt thou kill God’s officers
  4. and the King’s ? Ah , thou honeyseed rogue ! Thou art a
  5. honeyseed , a man - queller , and a woman - queller .

Falstaff

44
  1. Keep them off , Bardolph .

Officer

45
  1. A rescue ! A rescue !

Mistress Quickly

46 - 48
  1. Good people , bring a rescue or two .
  2. The Page attacks her .
  3. Thou wo’t , wo’t thou ? Thou wo’t , wo’t ta ? Do , do , thou
  4. rogue ! Do , thou hempseed !

Falstaff’s Page

49 - 50
  1. Away , you scullion ! You rampallian ! You fustilarian ! I’ll
  2. tickle your catastrophe .
  1. Enter Lord Chief Justice and his Men .

Lord Chief Justice

51
  1. What is the matter ? Keep the peace here , ho !

Mistress Quickly

52
  1. Good my lord , be good to me ; I beseech you stand to me .

Lord Chief Justice

53 - 56
  1. How now , Sir John ? What are you brawling here ?
  2. Doth this become your place , your time , and business ?
  3. You should have been well on your way to York .
  4. Stand from him , fellow , wherefore hang’st thou upon him ?

Mistress Quickly

57 - 58
  1. O my most worshipful lord , and’t please your Grace , I am a
  2. poor widow of Eastcheap , and he is arrested at my suit .
Mrs. Sitwell as Mistress Quickly

Mrs. Sitwell as Mistress Quickly

From Lord Normanby's private theatricals in Florence

circa 1830

Lord Chief Justice

59
  1. For what sum ?

Mistress Quickly

60 - 64
  1. It is more than for some , my lord , it is for all I have . He
  2. hath eaten me out of house and home , he hath put all my
  3. substance into that fat belly of his , but I will have some
  4. of it out again , or I will ride thee a’ nights like the
  5. mare .

Falstaff

65 - 66
  1. I think I am as like to ride the mare , if I have any vantage
  2. of ground to get up .

Lord Chief Justice

67 - 70
  1. How comes this , Sir John ? What man of good temper would
  2. endure this tempest of exclamation ? Are you not asham’d to
  3. enforce a poor widow to so rough a course to come by her
  4. own ?

Falstaff

71
  1. What is the gross sum that I owe thee ?

Mistress Quickly

72 - 88
  1. Marry , if thou wert an honest man , thyself and the money
  2. too . Thou didst swear to me upon a parcel - gilt goblet ,
  3. sitting in my Dauphin chamber , at the round table by a
  4. sea - coal fire , upon Wednesday in Wheeson week , when the
  5. Prince broke thy head for liking his father to a singing - man
  6. of Windsor , thou didst swear to me then , as I was washing
  7. thy wound , to marry me and make me my lady thy wife . Canst
  8. thou deny it ? Did not goodwife Keech , the butcher’s wife ,
  9. come in then and call me gossip Quickly ? Coming in to borrow
  10. a mess of vinegar , telling us she had a good dish of prawns ,
  11. whereby thou didst desire to eat some , whereby I told thee
  12. they were ill for a green wound ? And didst thou not , when
  13. she was gone down stairs , desire me to be no more so
  14. familiarity with such poor people , saying that ere long they
  15. should call me madam ? And didst thou not kiss me , and bid me
  16. fetch thee thirty shillings ? I put thee now to thy
  17. book - oath . Deny it if thou canst .

Falstaff

89 - 93
  1. My lord , this is a poor mad soul , and she says up and down
  2. the town that her eldest son is like you . She hath been in
  3. good case , and the truth is , poverty hath distracted her .
  4. But for these foolish officers , I beseech you I may have
  5. redress against them .

Lord Chief Justice

94 - 100
  1. Sir John , Sir John , I am well acquainted with your manner of
  2. wrenching the true cause the false way . It is not a
  3. confident brow , nor the throng of words that come with such
  4. more than impudent sauciness from you , can thrust me from a
  5. level consideration . You have , as it appears to me ,
  6. practic’d upon the easy - yielding spirit of this woman , and
  7. made her serve your uses both in purse and in person .

Mistress Quickly

101
  1. Yea , in truth , my lord .

Lord Chief Justice

102 - 104
  1. Pray thee peace . Pay her the debt you owe her , and unpay the
  2. villainy you have done with her . The one you may do with
  3. sterling money , and the other with current repentance .

Falstaff

105 - 110
  1. My lord , I will not undergo this sneap without reply . You
  2. call honorable boldness impudent sauciness ; if a man will
  3. make curtsy and say nothing , he is virtuous . No , my lord , my
  4. humble duty rememb’red , I will not be your suitor . I say to
  5. you , I do desire deliverance from these officers , being upon
  6. hasty employment in the King’s affairs .

Lord Chief Justice

111 - 112
  1. You speak as having power to do wrong , but answer in th’
  2. effect of your reputation , and satisfy the poor woman .

Falstaff

113
  1. Come hither , hostess .
  1. Enter a messenger , Master Gower .

Lord Chief Justice

114
  1. Now , Master Gower , what news ?

Gower

115 - 116
  1. The King , my lord , and Harry Prince of Wales
  2. Are near at hand . The rest the paper tells .

I arrest you at the suit of Mistress Quickly.

Matthew Urlwin Sears, 19th century

Falstaff

117
  1. As I am a gentleman !

Mistress Quickly

118
  1. Faith , you said so before .

Falstaff

119
  1. As I am a gentleman ! Come , no more words of it .

Mistress Quickly

120 - 121
  1. By this heav’nly ground I tread on , I must be fain to pawn
  2. both my plate and the tapestry of my dining - chambers .

Falstaff

122 - 130
  1. Glasses , glasses , is the only drinking , and for thy walls , a
  2. pretty slight drollery , or the story of the Prodigal , or the
  3. German hunting in waterwork , is worth a thousand of these
  4. bed - hangers and these fly - bitten tapestries . Let it be ten
  5. pound , if thou canst . Come , and ’twere not for thy humors ,
  6. there’s not a better wench in England . Go wash thy face , and
  7. draw the action . Come , thou must not be in this humor with
  8. me , dost not know me ? Come , come , I know thou wast set on to
  9. this .

Mistress Quickly

131 - 132
  1. Pray thee , Sir John , let it be but twenty nobles . I’ faith ,
  2. I am loath to pawn my plate , so God save me law !

Falstaff

133
  1. Let it alone , I’ll make other shift . You’ll be a fool still .

Mistress Quickly

134 - 135
  1. Well , you shall have it , though I pawn my gown . I hope
  2. you’ll come to supper . You’ll pay me all together ?

Falstaff

136 - 137
  1. Will I live ?
  2. To Bardolph .
  3. Go , with her , with her , hook on , hook on .

Mistress Quickly

138
  1. Will you have Doll Tearsheet meet you at supper ?

Falstaff

139
  1. No more words , let’s have her .
  1. Exeunt Hostess and Fang , Snare , and Bardolph .

Lord Chief Justice

140
  1. I have heard better news .

Falstaff

141
  1. What’s the news , my lord ?

Lord Chief Justice

142
  1. Where lay the King tonight ?

Gower

143
  1. At Basingstoke , my lord .

Falstaff

144
  1. I hope , my lord , all’s well . What is the news , my lord ?

Lord Chief Justice

145
  1. Come all his forces back ?

Gower

146 - 148
  1. No , fifteen hundred foot , five hundred horse ,
  2. Are march’d up to my Lord of Lancaster ,
  3. Against Northumberland and the Archbishop .

Falstaff

149
  1. Comes the King back from Wales , my noble lord ?

Lord Chief Justice

150 - 151
  1. You shall have letters of me presently . Come , go along with
  2. me , good Master Gower .

Falstaff

152
  1. My lord !

Lord Chief Justice

153
  1. What’s the matter ?

Falstaff

154
  1. Master Gower , shall I entreat you with me to dinner ?

Gower

155 - 156
  1. I must wait upon my good lord here , I thank you , good Sir
  2. John .

Lord Chief Justice

157 - 158
  1. Sir John , you loiter here too long , being you are to take
  2. soldiers up in counties as you go .

Falstaff

159
  1. Will you sup with me , Master Gower ?

Lord Chief Justice

160
  1. What foolish master taught you these manners , Sir John ?

Falstaff

161 - 163
  1. Master Gower , if they become me not , he was a fool that
  2. taught them me . This is the right fencing grace , my lord ,
  3. tap for tap , and so part fair .

Lord Chief Justice

164
  1. Now the Lord lighten thee ! Thou art a great fool .
  1. Exeunt .
Costume design for Falstaff

Costume design for Falstaff

John Miller, George Scharf, 1824

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