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Henry IV, Pt. 1: Act IV, Scene 2

Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act IV, Scene 2

A public road near Coventry .

  1. Enter Falstaff , Bardolph .

Falstaff

1 - 3
  1. Bardolph , get thee before to Coventry ; fill me a bottle of
  2. sack . Our soldiers shall march through ; we’ll to Sutton
  3. Co’fil’ tonight .

Bardolph

4
  1. Will you give me money , captain ?

Falstaff

5
  1. Lay out , lay out .

Bardolph

6
  1. This bottle makes an angel .

Falstaff

7 - 9
  1. And if it do , take it for thy labor , and if it make twenty ,
  2. take them all , I’ll answer the coinage . Bid my lieutenant
  3. Peto meet me at town’s end .

Bardolph

10
  1. I will , captain , farewell .
  1. Exit .

Falstaff

11 - 43
  1. If I be not asham’d of my soldiers , I am a sous’d gurnet . I
  2. have misus’d the King’s press damnably . I have got , in
  3. exchange of a hundred and fifty soldiers , three hundred and
  4. odd pounds . I press me none but good householders , yeomen’s
  5. sons , inquire me out contracted bachelors , such as had been
  6. ask’d twice on the banes , such a commodity of warm slaves ,
  7. as had as lief hear the devil as a drum , such as fear the
  8. report of a caliver worse than a struck fowl or a hurt wild
  9. duck . I press’d me none but such toasts - and - butter , with
  10. hearts in their bellies no bigger than pins’ heads , and they
  11. have bought out their services ; and now my whole charge
  12. consists of ancients , corporals , lieutenants , gentlemen of
  13. companies slaves as ragged as Lazarus in the painted cloth ,
  14. where the glutton’s dogs lick’d his sores , and such as
  15. indeed were never soldiers , but discarded unjust servingmen ,
  16. younger sons to younger brothers , revolted tapsters , and
  17. ostlers trade - fall’n , the cankers of a calm world and a long
  18. peace , ten times more dishonorable ragged than an old feaz’d
  19. ancient : and such have I , to fill up the rooms of them as
  20. have bought out their services , that you would think that I
  21. had a hundred and fifty totter’d prodigals lately come from
  22. swine - keeping , from eating draff and husks . A mad fellow met
  23. me on the way and told me I had unloaded all the gibbets and
  24. press’d the dead bodies . No eye hath seen such scarecrows .
  25. I’ll not march through Coventry with them , that’s flat . Nay ,
  26. and the villains march wide betwixt the legs , as if they had
  27. gyves on , for indeed I had the most of them out of prison .
  28. There’s not a shirt and a half in all my company , and the
  29. half shirt is two napkins tack’d together and thrown over
  30. the shoulders like a herald’s coat without sleeves ; and the
  31. shirt , to say the truth , stol’n from my host at Saint
  32. Albans , or the red - nose innkeeper of Daventry . But that’s
  33. all one , they’ll find linen - enough on every hedge .
  1. Enter the Prince , Lord of Westmorland .

Prince Henry

44
  1. How now , blown Jack ? How now , quilt ?

Falstaff

45 - 47
  1. What , Hal ? How now , mad wag ? What a devil dost thou in
  2. Warwickshire ? My good Lord of Westmorland , I cry you mercy !
  3. I thought your honor had already been at Shrewsbury .

Earl of Westmorland

48 - 50
  1. Faith , Sir John , ’tis more than time that I were there , and
  2. you too , but my powers are there already . The King , I can
  3. tell you , looks for us all , we must away all night .

Falstaff

51 - 52
  1. Tut , never fear me , I am as vigilant as a cat to steal
  2. cream .

Prince Henry

53 - 55
  1. I think , to steal cream indeed , for thy theft hath already
  2. made thee butter . But tell me , Jack , whose fellows are these
  3. that come after ?

Falstaff

56
  1. Mine , Hal , mine .

Prince Henry

57
  1. I did never see such pitiful rascals .

Falstaff

58 - 60
  1. Tut , tut , good enough to toss , food for powder , food for
  2. powder ; they’ll fill a pit as well as better . Tush , man ,
  3. mortal men , mortal men .

Earl of Westmorland

61 - 62
  1. Ay , but , Sir John , methinks they are exceeding poor and
  2. bare , too beggarly .

Falstaff

63 - 65
  1. Faith , for their poverty , I know not where they had that ,
  2. and for their bareness , I am sure they never learn’d that of
  3. me .

Prince Henry

66 - 68
  1. No , I’ll be sworn , unless you call three fingers in the ribs
  2. bare . But , sirrah , make haste , Percy is already in the
  3. field .
  1. Exit .

Falstaff

69
  1. What , is the King encamp’d ?

Earl of Westmorland

70
  1. He is , Sir John . I fear we shall stay too long .

Falstaff

71 - 73
  1. Well ,
  2. To the latter end of a fray and the beginning of a feast
  3. Fits a dull fighter and a keen guest .
  1. Exeunt .
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