Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act III, Scene 3
Eastcheap . The Boar’s Head Tavern .
- Enter Falstaff and Bardolph .
Falstaff1 - 9
- Bardolph , am I not fall’n away vilely since this last
- action ? Do I not bate ? Do I not dwindle ? Why , my skin hangs
- about me like an old lady’s loose gown ; I am wither’d like
- an old apple - john . Well , I’ll repent , and that suddenly ,
- while I am in some liking . I shall be out of heart shortly ,
- and then I shall have no strength to repent . And I have not
- forgotten what the inside of a church is made of , I am a
- peppercorn , a brewer’s horse . The inside of a church !
- Company , villainous company , hath been the spoil of me .
- Sir John , you are so fretful you cannot live long .
Falstaff11 - 17
- Why , there is it . Come sing me a bawdy song , make me merry .
- I was as virtuously given as a gentleman need to be ,
- virtuous enough : swore little , dic’d not above seven times — a
- week , went to a bawdy - house not above once in a quarter — of
- an hour , paid money that I borrow’d — three or four times ,
- liv’d well and in good compass , and now I live out of all
- order , out of all compass .
Bardolph18 - 19
- Why , you are so fat , Sir John , that you must needs be out of
- all compass , out of all reasonable compass , Sir John .
Falstaff20 - 22
- Do thou amend thy face , and I’ll amend my life . Thou art our
- admiral , thou bearest the lantern in the poop , but ’tis in
- the nose of thee . Thou art the Knight of the Burning Lamp .
- Why , Sir John , my face does you no harm .
Falstaff24 - 41
- No , I’ll be sworn , I make as good use of it as many a man
- doth of a death’s - head or a memento mori . I never see thy
- face but I think upon hell - fire and Dives that liv’d in
- purple ; for there he is in his robes , burning , burning . If
- thou wert any way given to virtue , I would swear by thy
- face ; my oath should be “ By this fire , that’s God’s angel .”
- But thou art altogether given over , and wert indeed , but for
- the light in thy face , the son of utter darkness . When thou
- ran’st up Gadshill in the night to catch my horse , if I did
- not think thou hadst been an ignis fatuus or a ball of
- wildfire , there’s no purchase in money . O , thou art a
- perpetual triumph , an everlasting bonfire light ! Thou hast
- sav’d me a thousand marks in links and torches , walking with
- thee in the night betwixt tavern and tavern ; but the sack
- that thou hast drunk me would have bought me lights as good
- cheap at the dearest chandler’s in Europe . I have maintain’d
- that salamander of yours with fire any time this two and
- thirty years , God reward me for it !
- ’Sblood , I would my face were in your belly !
Falstaff43 - 45
- God - a - mercy , so should I be sure to be heart - burnt .
- Enter Hostess .
- How now , Dame Partlet the hen ? Have you inquir’d yet who
- pick’d my pocket ?
Hostess46 - 50
- Why , Sir John , what do you think , Sir John ? Do you think I
- keep thieves in my house ? I have search’d , I have inquir’d ,
- so has my husband , man by man , boy by boy , servant by
- servant . The tithe of a hair was never lost in my house
- before .
Falstaff51 - 53
- Ye lie , hostess , Bardolph was shav’d , and lost many a hair ,
- and I’ll be sworn my pocket was pick’d . Go to , you are a
- woman , go .
Hostess54 - 55
- Who , I ? No , I defy thee . God’s light , I was never call’d so
- in mine own house before .
- Go to , I know you well enough .
Hostess57 - 60
- No , Sir John , you do not know me , Sir John . I know you , Sir
- John , you owe me money , Sir John , and now you pick a quarrel
- to beguile me of it . I bought you a dozen of shirts to your
- back .
Falstaff61 - 62
- Dowlas , filthy dowlas . I have given them away to bakers’
- wives , they have made bolters of them .
Hostess63 - 65
- Now as I am a true woman , holland of eight shillings an ell .
- You owe money here besides , Sir John , for your diet and
- by - drinkings , and money lent you , four and twenty pound .
- He had his part of it , let him pay .
- He ? Alas , he is poor , he hath nothing .
Falstaff68 - 73
- How ? Poor ? Look upon his face ; what call you rich ? Let them
- coin his nose , let them coin his cheeks . I’ll not pay a
- denier . What , will you make a younker of me ? Shall I not
- take mine ease in mine inn but I shall have my pocket
- pick’d ? I have lost a seal - ring of my grandfather’s worth
- forty mark .
Hostess74 - 75
- O Jesu , I have heard the Prince tell him , I know not how
- oft , that that ring was copper !
Falstaff76 - 79
- How ? The Prince is a Jack , a sneak - up . ’Sblood , and he were
- here , I would cudgel him like a dog if he would say so .
- Enter the Prince marching , with Peto , and Falstaff meets him
- playing upon his truncheon like a fife .
- How now , lad ? Is the wind in that door , i’ faith ? Must we
- all march ?
- Yea , two and two , Newgate fashion .
- My lord , I pray you hear me .
Prince Henry82 - 83
- What say’st thou , Mistress Quickly ? How doth thy husband ? I
- love him well , he is an honest man .
- Good my lord , hear me .
- Prithee let her alone , and list to me .
- What say’st thou , Jack ?
Falstaff87 - 89
- The other night I fell asleep here behind the arras and had
- my pocket pick’d . This house is turn’d bawdy - house , they
- pick pockets .
- What didst thou lose , Jack ?
Falstaff91 - 92
- Wilt thou believe me , Hal , three or four bonds of forty
- pound a - piece , and a seal - ring of my grandfather’s .
- A trifle , some eight - penny matter .
Hostess94 - 96
- So I told him , my lord , and I said I heard your Grace say
- so ; and , my lord , he speaks most vilely of you , like a
- foul - mouth’d man as he is , and said he would cudgel you .
- What , he did not ?
- There’s neither faith , truth , nor womanhood in me else .
Falstaff99 - 102
- There’s no more faith in thee than in a stew’d prune , nor no
- more truth in thee than in a drawn fox , and for womanhood ,
- Maid Marian may be the deputy’s wife of the ward to thee .
- Go , you thing , go .
- Say , what thing ? What thing ?
- What thing ? Why , a thing to thank God on .
Hostess105 - 107
- I am no thing to thank God on , I would thou shouldst know
- it . I am an honest man’s wife , and setting thy knighthood
- aside , thou art a knave to call me so .
Falstaff108 - 109
- Setting thy womanhood aside , thou art a beast to say
- otherwise .
- Say , what beast , thou knave , thou ?
- What beast ? Why , an otter .
- An otter , Sir John , why an otter ?
Falstaff113 - 114
- Why ? She’s neither fish nor flesh , a man knows not where to
- have her .
Hostess115 - 116
- Thou art an unjust man in saying so . Thou or any man knows
- where to have me , thou knave , thou !
Prince Henry117 - 118
- Thou say’st true , hostess , and he slanders thee most
- grossly .
Hostess119 - 120
- So he doth you , my lord , and said this other day you ought
- him a thousand pound .
- Sirrah , do I owe you a thousand pound ?
Falstaff122 - 123
- A thousand pound , Hal ? A million , thy love is worth a
- million ; thou owest me thy love .
Hostess124 - 125
- Nay , my lord , he call’d you Jack , and said he would cudgel
- you .
- Did I , Bardolph ?
- Indeed , Sir John , you said so .
- Yea , if he said my ring was copper .
- I say ’tis copper . Darest thou be as good as thy word now ?
Falstaff130 - 132
- Why , Hal ! Thou knowest , as thou art but man , I dare , but as
- thou art Prince , I fear thee as I fear the roaring of the
- lion’s whelp .
- And why not as the lion ?
Falstaff134 - 136
- The King himself is to be fear’d as the lion . Dost thou
- think I’ll fear thee as I fear thy father ? Nay , and I do , I
- pray God my girdle break .
Prince Henry137 - 147
- O , if it should , how would thy guts fall about thy knees !
- But , sirrah , there’s no room for faith , truth , nor honesty
- in this bosom of thine ; it is all fill’d up with guts and
- midriff . Charge an honest woman with picking thy pocket !
- Why , thou whoreson , impudent , emboss’d rascal , if there were
- any thing in thy pocket but tavern - reckonings , memorandums
- of bawdy - houses , and one poor pennyworth of sugar - candy to
- make thee long - winded — if thy pocket were enrich’d with any
- other injuries but these , I am a villain . And yet you will
- stand to it , you will not pocket up wrong . Art thou not
- asham’d ?
Falstaff148 - 152
- Dost thou hear , Hal ? Thou knowest in the state of innocency
- Adam fell , and what should poor Jack Falstaff do in the days
- of villainy ? Thou seest I have more flesh than another man ,
- and therefore more frailty . You confess then you pick’d my
- pocket ?
- It appears so by the story .
Falstaff154 - 159
- Hostess , I forgive thee . Go make ready breakfast ; love thy
- husband , look to thy servants , cherish thy guests . Thou
- shalt find me tractable to any honest reason ; thou seest I
- am pacified still . Nay , prithee be gone .
- Exit Hostess .
- Now , Hal , to the news at court for the robbery , lad , how is
- that answer’d ?
Prince Henry160 - 161
- O , my sweet beef , I must still be good angel to thee . The
- money is paid back again .
- O , I do not like that paying back , ’tis a double labor .
- I am good friends with my father and may do any thing .
Falstaff164 - 165
- Rob me the exchequer the first thing thou doest , and do it
- with unwash’d hands too .
- Do , my lord .
- I have procur’d thee , Jack , a charge of foot .
Falstaff168 - 172
- I would it had been of horse . Where shall I find one that
- can steal well ? O for a fine thief , of the age of two and
- twenty or thereabouts ! I am heinously unprovided . Well , God
- be thank’d for these rebels , they offend none but the
- virtuous . I laud them , I praise them .
- Bardolph !
- My lord ?
Prince Henry175 - 184
- Go bear this letter to Lord John of Lancaster ,
- To my brother John ; this to my Lord of Westmorland .
- Exit Bardolph .
- Go , Peto , to horse , to horse , for thou and I
- Have thirty miles to ride yet ere dinner - time .
- Exit Peto .
- Jack , meet me tomorrow in the Temple Hall
- At two a’ clock in the afternoon ;
- There shalt thou know thy charge , and there receive
- Money and order for their furniture .
- The land is burning , Percy stands on high ,
- And either we or they must lower lie .
- Exit .
Falstaff185 - 186
- Rare words ! Brave world ! Hostess , my breakfast , come !
- O , I could wish this tavern were my drum !
- Exit .