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Henry IV, Pt. 1: Act II, Scene 4

Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act II, Scene 4

Eastcheap . The Boar’s Head Tavern .

  1. Enter Prince and Poins .

Prince Henry

1 - 2
  1. Ned , prithee come out of that fat room , and lend me thy hand
  2. to laugh a little .

Poins

3
  1. Where hast been , Hal ?

Prince Henry

4 - 30
  1. With three or four loggerheads amongst three or four score
  2. hogsheads . I have sounded the very base - string of humility .
  3. Sirrah , I am sworn brother to a leash of drawers , and can
  4. call them all by their christen names , as Tom , Dick , and
  5. Francis . They take it already upon their salvation , that
  6. though I be but Prince of Wales , yet I am the king of
  7. courtesy , and tell me flatly I am no proud Jack like
  8. Falstaff , but a Corinthian , a lad of mettle , a good boy ( by
  9. the Lord , so they call me !), and when I am King of England I
  10. shall command all the good lads in Eastcheap . They call
  11. drinking deep , dyeing scarlet , and when you breathe in your
  12. watering , they cry hem !” and bid you play it off . To
  13. conclude , I am so good a proficient in one quarter of an
  14. hour , that I can drink with any tinker in his own language
  15. during my life . I tell thee , Ned , thou hast lost much honor
  16. that thou wert not with me in this action . But , sweet Ned to
  17. sweeten which name of Ned , I give thee this pennyworth of
  18. sugar , clapp’d even now into my hand by an under - skinker ,
  19. one that never spake other English in his life than Eight
  20. shillings and sixpence ,” and You are welcome ,” with this
  21. shrill addition , Anon , anon , sir ! Score a pint of bastard
  22. in the Half - moon ,” or so . But , Ned , to drive away the time
  23. till Falstaff come , I prithee do thou stand in some by - room ,
  24. while I question my puny drawer to what end he gave me the
  25. sugar , and do thou never leave calling Francis ,” that his
  26. tale to me may be nothing but Anon .” Step aside , and I’ll
  27. show thee a president .
  1. Exit Poins .

Poins

31
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Prince Henry

32
  1. Thou art perfect .

Poins

33
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !
  1. Enter Drawer Francis .

Francis

34
  1. Anon , anon , sir . Look down into the Pomgarnet , Ralph .

Prince Henry

35
  1. Come hither , Francis .

Francis

36
  1. My lord ?

Prince Henry

37
  1. How long hast thou to serve , Francis ?

Francis

38
  1. Forsooth , five years , and as much as to

Poins

39
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Francis

40
  1. Anon , anon , sir .

Prince Henry

41 - 44
  1. Five year ! By’r lady , a long lease for the clinking of
  2. pewter . But , Francis , darest thou be so valiant as to play
  3. the coward with thy indenture , and show it a fair pair of
  4. heels and run from it ?

Francis

45 - 46
  1. O Lord , sir , I’ll be sworn upon all the books in England , I
  2. could find in my heart

Poins

47
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Francis

48
  1. Anon , sir .

Prince Henry

49
  1. How old art thou , Francis ?

Francis

50
  1. Let me see about Michaelmas next I shall be

Poins

51
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Francis

52
  1. Anon , sir . Pray stay a little , my lord .

Prince Henry

53 - 54
  1. Nay , but hark you , Francis : for the sugar thou gavest me ,
  2. ’twas a pennyworth , was’t not ?

Francis

55
  1. O Lord , I would it had been two !

Prince Henry

56 - 57
  1. I will give thee for it a thousand pound . Ask me when thou
  2. wilt , and thou shalt have it .

Poins

58
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Francis

59
  1. Anon , anon .

Prince Henry

60 - 62
  1. Anon , Francis ? No , Francis ; but tomorrow , Francis ; or ,
  2. Francis , a’ Thursday ; or indeed , Francis , when thou wilt .
  3. But , Francis !

Francis

63
  1. My lord ?

Prince Henry

64 - 66
  1. Wilt thou rob this leathern - jerkin , crystal - button ,
  2. not - pated , agate - ring , puke - stocking , caddis - garter ,
  3. smooth - tongue , Spanish - pouch

Francis

67
  1. O Lord , sir , who do you mean ?

Prince Henry

68 - 70
  1. Why then your brown bastard is your only drink ! For look
  2. you , Francis , your white canvas doublet will sully . In
  3. Barbary , sir , it cannot come to so much .

Francis

71
  1. What , sir ?

Poins

72
  1. Within .
  2. Francis !

Prince Henry

73
  1. Away , you rogue , dost thou not hear them call ?
  1. Here they both call him ; the drawer stands amazed , not
  2. knowing which way to go .
  1. Enter Vintner .

Vintner

74 - 77
  1. What , stand’st thou still , and hear’st such a calling ? Look
  2. to the guests within .
  3. Exit Francis .
  4. My lord , old Sir John with half a dozen more are at the
  5. door , shall I let them in ?

Prince Henry

78 - 79
  1. Let them alone awhile , and then open the door .
  2. Exit Vintner .
  3. Poins !

Poins

80
  1. Within .
  2. Non , anon , sir .
  1. Enter Poins .

Prince Henry

81 - 82
  1. Sirrah , Falstaff and the rest of the thieves are at the
  2. door ; shall we be merry ?

Poins

83 - 85
  1. As merry as crickets , my lad . But hark ye , what cunning
  2. match have you made with this jest of the drawer ? Come ,
  3. what’s the issue ?

Prince Henry

86 - 89
  1. I am now of all humors that have show’d themselves humors
  2. since the old days of goodman Adam to the pupil age of this
  3. present twelve a’ clock at midnight .
  4. Enter Francis hurrying across the stage with wine .
  5. What’s a’ clock , Francis ?

Francis

90
  1. Anon , anon , sir .
  1. Exit .

Prince Henry

91 - 102
  1. That ever this fellow should have fewer words than a parrot ,
  2. and yet the son of a woman ! His industry is up stairs and
  3. down stairs , his eloquence the parcel of a reckoning . I am
  4. not yet of Percy’s mind , the Hotspur of the north , he that
  5. kills me some six or seven dozen of Scots at a breakfast ,
  6. washes his hands , and says to his wife , Fie upon this quiet
  7. life ! I want work .” O my sweet Harry ,” says she , how many
  8. hast thou kill’d today ?” Give my roan horse a drench ,” says
  9. he , and answers , Some fourteen ,” an hour after ; a trifle ,
  10. a trifle .” I prithee call in Falstaff . I’ll play Percy , and
  11. that damn’d brawn shall play Dame Mortimer his wife . Rivo !”
  12. says the drunkard . Call in ribs , call in tallow .
  1. Enter Falstaff , Gadshill , Bardolph , and Peto , Francis
  2. following with wine .

Poins

103
  1. Welcome , Jack , where hast thou been ?

Falstaff

104 - 108
  1. A plague of all cowards , I say , and a vengeance too ! Marry
  2. and amen ! Give me a cup of sack , boy . Ere I lead this life
  3. long , I’ll sew nether - stocks , and mend them and foot them
  4. too . A plague of all cowards ! Give me a cup of sack , rogue .
  5. Is there no virtue extant ?
  1. He drinketh .

Prince Henry

109 - 111
  1. Didst thou never see Titan kiss a dish of butter ,
  2. pitiful - hearted Titan , that melted at the sweet tale of the
  3. sun’s ? If thou didst , then behold that compound .

Falstaff

112 - 121
  1. You rogue , here’s lime in this sack too . There is nothing
  2. but roguery to be found in villainous man , yet a coward is
  3. worse than a cup of sack with lime in it . A villainous
  4. coward ! Go thy ways , old Jack , die when thou wilt ; if
  5. manhood , good manhood , be not forgot upon the face of the
  6. earth , then am I a shotten herring . There lives not three
  7. good men unhang’d in England , and one of them is fat and
  8. grows old , God help the while ! A bad world , I say . I would I
  9. were a weaver , I could sing psalms , or any thing . A plague
  10. of all cowards , I say still .

Prince Henry

122
  1. How now , wool - sack , what mutter you ?

Falstaff

123 - 126
  1. A king’s son ! If I do not beat thee out of thy kingdom with
  2. a dagger of lath , and drive all thy subjects afore thee like
  3. a flock of wild geese , I’ll never wear hair on my face more .
  4. You , Prince of Wales !

Prince Henry

127
  1. Why , you whoreson round man , what’s the matter ?

Falstaff

128
  1. Are not you a coward ? Answer me to that ; and Poins there ?

Poins

129 - 130
  1. ’Zounds , ye fat paunch , and ye call me coward , by the Lord ,
  2. I’ll stab thee .

Falstaff

131 - 137
  1. I call thee coward ! I’ll see thee damn’d ere I call thee
  2. coward , but I would give a thousand pound I could run as
  3. fast as thou canst . You are straight enough in the
  4. shoulders , you care not who sees your back . Call you that
  5. backing of your friends ? A plague upon such backing ! Give me
  6. them that will face me . Give me a cup of sack . I am a rogue
  7. if I drunk today .

Prince Henry

138 - 139
  1. O villain , thy lips are scarce wip’d since thou drunk’st
  2. last .

Falstaff

140 - 141
  1. All is one for that .
  2. He drinketh .
  3. A plague of all cowards , still say I .

Prince Henry

142
  1. What’s the matter ?

Falstaff

143 - 144
  1. What’s the matter ! There be four of us here have ta’en a
  2. thousand pound this day morning .

Prince Henry

145
  1. Where is it , Jack ? Where is it ?

Falstaff

146 - 147
  1. Where is it ? Taken from us it is : a hundred upon poor four
  2. of us .

Prince Henry

148
  1. What , a hundred , man ?

Falstaff

149 - 156
  1. I am a rogue if I were not at half - sword with a dozen of
  2. them two hours together . I have scap’d by miracle . I am
  3. eight times thrust through the doublet , four through the
  4. hose , my buckler cut through and through , my sword hack’d
  5. like a hand - saw ecce signum ! I never dealt better since I
  6. was a man ; all would not do . A plague of all cowards ! Let
  7. them speak ; if they speak more or less than truth , they are
  8. villains and the sons of darkness .

Prince Henry

157
  1. Speak , sirs , how was it ?

Gadshill

158
  1. We four set upon some dozen

Falstaff

159
  1. Sixteen at least , my lord .

Gadshill

160
  1. And bound them .

Peto

161
  1. No , no , they were not bound .

Falstaff

162 - 163
  1. You rogue , they were bound , every man of them , or I am a Jew
  2. else , a Hebrew Jew .

Gadshill

164
  1. As we were sharing , some six or seven fresh men set upon us

Falstaff

165
  1. And unbound the rest , and then come in the other .

Prince Henry

166
  1. What , fought you with them all ?

Falstaff

167 - 170
  1. All ? I know not what you call all , but if I fought not with
  2. fifty of them , I am a bunch of radish . If there were not two
  3. or three and fifty upon poor old Jack , then am I no
  4. two - legg’d creature .

Prince Henry

171
  1. Pray God you have not murd’red some of them .

Falstaff

172 - 177
  1. Nay , that’s past praying for , I have pepper’d two of them .
  2. Two I am sure I have paid , two rogues in buckram suits . I
  3. tell thee what , Hal , if I tell thee a lie , spit in my face ,
  4. call me horse . Thou knowest my old ward : here I lay , and
  5. thus I bore my point . Four rogues in buckram let drive at
  6. me

Prince Henry

178
  1. What , four ? Thou saidst but two even now .

Falstaff

179
  1. Four , Hal , I told thee four .

Poins

180
  1. Ay , ay , he said four .

Falstaff

181 - 183
  1. These four came all afront , and mainly thrust at me . I made
  2. me no more ado but took all their seven points in my target ,
  3. thus .

Prince Henry

184
  1. Seven ? Why , there were but four even now .

Falstaff

185
  1. In buckram ?

Poins

186
  1. Ay , four , in buckram suits .

Falstaff

187
  1. Seven , by these hilts , or I am a villain else .

Prince Henry

188
  1. Prithee let him alone , we shall have more anon .

Falstaff

189
  1. Dost thou hear me , Hal ?

Prince Henry

190
  1. Ay , and mark thee too , Jack .

Falstaff

191 - 192
  1. Do so , for it is worth the list’ning to . These nine in
  2. buckram that I told thee of

Prince Henry

193
  1. So , two more already .

Falstaff

194
  1. Their points being broken

Poins

195
  1. Down fell their hose .

Falstaff

196 - 198
  1. Began to give me ground ; but I follow’d me close , came in ,
  2. foot and hand , and with a thought seven of the eleven I
  3. paid .

Prince Henry

199
  1. O monstrous ! Eleven buckram men grown out of two .

Falstaff

200 - 202
  1. But , as the devil would have it , three misbegotten knaves in
  2. Kendal green came at my back and let drive at me , for it was
  3. so dark , Hal , that thou couldest not see thy hand .

Prince Henry

203 - 206
  1. These lies are like their father that begets them , gross as
  2. a mountain , open , palpable . Why , thou clay - brain’d guts ,
  3. thou knotty - pated fool , thou whoreson , obscene , greasy
  4. tallow - catch

Falstaff

207 - 208
  1. What , art thou mad ? Art thou mad ? Is not the truth the
  2. truth ?

Prince Henry

209 - 211
  1. Why , how couldst thou know these men in Kendal green when it
  2. was so dark thou couldst not see thy hand ? Come , tell us
  3. your reason ; what sayest thou to this ?

Poins

212
  1. Come , your reason , Jack , your reason .

Falstaff

213 - 217
  1. What , upon compulsion ? ’Zounds , and I were at the strappado ,
  2. or all the racks in the world , I would not tell you on
  3. compulsion . Give you a reason on compulsion ? If reasons were
  4. as plentiful as blackberries , I would give no man a reason
  5. upon compulsion , I .

Prince Henry

218 - 220
  1. I’ll be no longer guilty of this sin . This sanguine coward ,
  2. this bed - presser , this horse - back - breaker , this huge hill of
  3. flesh

Falstaff

221 - 224
  1. ’Sblood , you starveling , you eel - skin , you dried neat’s
  2. tongue , you bull’s pizzle , you stock - fish ! O for breath to
  3. utter what is like thee ! You tailor’s yard , you sheath , you
  4. bowcase , you vile standing tuck

Prince Henry

225 - 227
  1. Well , breathe a while , and then to it again , and when thou
  2. hast tir’d thyself in base comparisons , hear me speak but
  3. this

Poins

228
  1. Mark , Jack .

Prince Henry

229 - 239
  1. We two saw you four set on four and bound them , and were
  2. masters of their wealth . Mark now how a plain tale shall put
  3. you down . Then did we two set on you four , and with a word ,
  4. outfac’d you from your prize , and have it , yea , and can show
  5. it you here in the house ; and , Falstaff , you carried your
  6. guts away as nimbly , with as quick dexterity , and roar’d for
  7. mercy , and still run and roar’d , as ever I heard bull - calf .
  8. What a slave art thou to hack thy sword as thou hast done ,
  9. and then say it was in fight ! What trick ? What device ? What
  10. starting - hole ? Canst thou now find out to hide thee from
  11. this open and apparent shame ?

Poins

240
  1. Come , let’s hear , Jack , what trick hast thou now ?

Falstaff

241 - 252
  1. By the Lord , I knew ye as well as he that made ye . Why , hear
  2. you , my masters , was it for me to kill the heir - apparent ?
  3. Should I turn upon the true prince ? Why , thou knowest I am
  4. as valiant as Hercules ; but beware instinct the lion will
  5. not touch the true prince . Instinct is a great matter ; I was
  6. now a coward on instinct . I shall think the better of
  7. myself , and thee , during my life ; I for a valiant lion , and
  8. thou for a true prince . But by the Lord , lads , I am glad you
  9. have the money . Hostess , clap to the doors ! Watch tonight ,
  10. pray tomorrow . Gallants , lads , boys , hearts of gold , all the
  11. titles of good fellowship come to you ! What , shall we be
  12. merry , shall we have a play extempore ?

Prince Henry

253
  1. Content , and the argument shall be thy running away .

Falstaff

254
  1. Ah , no more of that , Hal , and thou lovest me !
  1. Enter Hostess .

Hostess

255
  1. O Jesu , my lord the Prince !

Prince Henry

256
  1. How now , my lady the hostess ! What say’st thou to me ?

Hostess

257 - 258
  1. Marry , my lord , there is a nobleman of the court at door
  2. would speak with you . He says he comes from your father .

Prince Henry

259 - 260
  1. Give him as much as will make him a royal man , and send him
  2. back again to my mother .

Falstaff

261
  1. What manner of man is he ?

Hostess

262
  1. An old man .

Falstaff

263 - 264
  1. What doth gravity out of his bed at midnight ? Shall I give
  2. him his answer ?

Prince Henry

265
  1. Prithee do , Jack .

Falstaff

266
  1. Faith , and I’ll send him packing .
  1. Exit .

Prince Henry

267 - 269
  1. Now , sirs , by’r lady , you fought fair , so did you , Peto , so
  2. did you , Bardolph . You are lions too , you ran away upon
  3. instinct , you will not touch the true prince , no , fie !

Bardolph

270
  1. Faith , I ran when I saw others run .

Prince Henry

271 - 272
  1. Faith , tell me now in earnest , how came Falstaff’s sword so
  2. hack’d ?

Peto

273 - 275
  1. Why , he hack’d it with his dagger , and said he would swear
  2. truth out of England but he would make you believe it was
  3. done in fight , and persuaded us to do the like .

Bardolph

276 - 279
  1. Yea , and to tickle our noses with speargrass to make them
  2. bleed , and then to beslubber our garments with it and swear
  3. it was the blood of true men . I did that I did not this
  4. seven year before , I blush’d to hear his monstrous devices .

Prince Henry

280 - 283
  1. O villain , thou stolest a cup of sack eighteen years ago ,
  2. and wert taken with the manner , and ever since thou hast
  3. blush’d extempore . Thou hadst fire and sword on thy side ,
  4. and yet thou ran’st away ; what instinct hadst thou for it ?

Bardolph

284 - 285
  1. My lord , do you see these meteors ? Do you behold these
  2. exhalations ?
  1. Pointing to his own face .

Prince Henry

286
  1. I do .

Bardolph

287
  1. What think you they portend ?

Prince Henry

288
  1. Hot livers and cold purses .

Bardolph

289
  1. Choler , my lord , if rightly taken .
  1. Enter Falstaff .

Prince Henry

290 - 292
  1. No , if rightly taken , halter . Here comes lean Jack , here
  2. comes bare - bone . How now , my sweet creature of bumbast , how
  3. long is’t ago , Jack , since thou sawest thine own knee ?

Falstaff

293 - 302
  1. My own knee ? When I was about thy years , Hal , I was not an
  2. eagle’s talent in the waist , I could have crept into any
  3. alderman’s thumb - ring . A plague of sighing and grief , it
  4. blows a man up like a bladder . There’s villainous news
  5. abroad . Here was Sir John Bracy from your father ; you must
  6. to the court in the morning . That same mad fellow of the
  7. north , Percy , and he of Wales that gave Amamon the bastinado
  8. and made Lucifer cuckold and swore the devil his true
  9. liegeman upon the cross of a Welsh hook what a plague call
  10. you him ?

Poins

303
  1. O , Glendower .

Falstaff

304 - 306
  1. Owen , Owen , the same ; and his son - in - law Mortimer , and old
  2. Northumberland , and that sprightly Scot of Scots , Douglas ,
  3. that runs a’ horseback up a hill perpendicular

Prince Henry

307 - 308
  1. He that rides at high speed and with his pistol kills a
  2. sparrow flying .

Falstaff

309
  1. You have hit it .

Prince Henry

310
  1. So did he never the sparrow .

Falstaff

311
  1. Well , that rascal hath good mettle in him , he will not run .

Prince Henry

312 - 313
  1. Why , what a rascal art thou then , to praise him so for
  2. running !

Falstaff

314
  1. A’ horseback , ye cuckoo , but afoot he will not budge a foot .

Prince Henry

315
  1. Yes , Jack , upon instinct .

Falstaff

316 - 319
  1. I grant ye , upon instinct . Well , he is there too , and one
  2. Mordake , and a thousand blue - caps more . Worcester is stol’n
  3. away tonight . Thy father’s beard is turn’d white with the
  4. news . You may buy land now as cheap as stinking mack’rel .

Prince Henry

320 - 322
  1. Why then , it is like , if there come a hot June and this
  2. civil buffeting hold , we shall buy maiden - heads as they buy
  3. hobnails , by the hundreds .

Falstaff

323 - 328
  1. By the mass , lad , thou sayest true , it is like we shall have
  2. good trading that way . But tell me , Hal , art not thou
  3. horrible afeard ? Thou being heir - apparent , could the world
  4. pick thee out three such enemies again as that fiend
  5. Douglas , that spirit Percy , and that devil Glendower ? Art
  6. thou not horribly afraid ? Doth not thy blood thrill at it ?

Prince Henry

329
  1. Not a whit , i’ faith , I lack some of thy instinct .

Falstaff

330 - 331
  1. Well , thou wilt be horribly chid tomorrow when thou comest
  2. to thy father . If thou love me , practice an answer .

Prince Henry

332 - 333
  1. Do thou stand for my father and examine me upon the
  2. particulars of my life .

Falstaff

334 - 335
  1. Shall I ? Content . This chair shall be my state , this dagger
  2. my sceptre , and this cushion my crown .

Prince Henry

336 - 338
  1. Thy state is taken for a join’d - stool , thy golden sceptre
  2. for a leaden dagger , and thy precious rich crown for a
  3. pitiful bald crown !

Falstaff

339 - 342
  1. Well , and the fire of grace be not quite out of thee , now
  2. shalt thou be mov’d . Give me a cup of sack to make my eyes
  3. look red , that it may be thought I have wept , for I must
  4. speak in passion , and I will do it in King Cambyses’ vein .

Prince Henry

343
  1. Well , here is my leg .

Falstaff

344
  1. And here is my speech . Stand aside , nobility .

Hostess

345
  1. O Jesu , this is excellent sport , i’ faith !

Falstaff

346
  1. Weep not , sweet queen , for trickling tears are vain .

Hostess

347
  1. O , the father , how he holds his countenance !

Falstaff

348 - 349
  1. For God’s sake , lords , convey my tristful queen ,
  2. For tears do stop the flood - gates of her eyes .

Hostess

350 - 351
  1. O Jesu , he doth it as like one of these harlotry players as
  2. ever I see !

Falstaff

352 - 371
  1. Peace , good pint - pot , peace , good ticklebrain . Harry , I do
  2. not only marvel where thou spendest thy time , but also how
  3. thou art accompanied ; for though the camomile , the more it
  4. is trodden on , the faster it grows , yet youth , the more it
  5. is wasted , the sooner it wears . That thou art my son I have
  6. partly thy mother’s word , partly my own opinion , but chiefly
  7. a villainous trick of thine eye , and a foolish hanging of
  8. thy nether lip , that doth warrant me . If then thou be son to
  9. me , here lies the point : why being son to me , art thou so
  10. pointed at ? Shall the blessed sun of heaven prove a micher
  11. and eat blackberries ? A question not to be ask’d . Shall the
  12. son of England prove a thief and take purses ? A question to
  13. be ask’d . There is a thing , Harry , which thou hast often
  14. heard of , and it is known to many in our land by the name of
  15. pitch . This pitch ( as ancient writers do report ) doth
  16. defile , so doth the company thou keepest ; for , Harry , now I
  17. do not speak to thee in drink , but in tears ; not in
  18. pleasure , but in passion ; not in words only , but in woes
  19. also . And yet there is a virtuous man whom I have often
  20. noted in thy company , but I know not his name .

Prince Henry

372
  1. What manner of man , and it like your Majesty ?

Falstaff

373 - 382
  1. A goodly portly man , i’ faith , and a corpulent , of a
  2. cheerful look , a pleasing eye , and a most noble carriage ,
  3. and as I think , his age some fifty , or , by’r lady , inclining
  4. to threescore ; and now I remember me , his name is Falstaff .
  5. If that man should be lewdly given , he deceiveth me ; for ,
  6. Harry , I see virtue in his looks . If then the tree may be
  7. known by the fruit , as the fruit by the tree , then
  8. peremptorily I speak it , there is virtue in that Falstaff ;
  9. him keep with , the rest banish . And tell me now , thou
  10. naughty varlet , tell me , where hast thou been this month ?

Prince Henry

383 - 384
  1. Dost thou speak like a king ? Do thou stand for me , and I’ll
  2. play my father .

Falstaff

385 - 387
  1. Depose me ? If thou dost it half so gravely , so majestically ,
  2. both in word and matter , hang me up by the heels for a
  3. rabbit - sucker or a poulter’s hare .

Prince Henry

388
  1. Well , here I am set .

Falstaff

389
  1. And here I stand . Judge , my masters .

Prince Henry

390
  1. Now , Harry , whence come you ?

Falstaff

391
  1. My noble lord , from Eastcheap .

Prince Henry

392
  1. The complaints I hear of thee are grievous .

Falstaff

393 - 394
  1. ’Sblood , my lord , they are false .— Nay , I’ll tickle ye for a
  2. young prince , i’ faith .

Prince Henry

395 - 408
  1. Swearest thou , ungracious boy ? Henceforth ne’er look on me .
  2. Thou art violently carried away from grace , there is a devil
  3. haunts thee in the likeness of an old fat man , a tun of man
  4. is thy companion . Why dost thou converse with that trunk of
  5. humors , that bolting - hutch of beastliness , that swoll’n
  6. parcel of dropsies , that huge bombard of sack , that stuff’d
  7. cloak - bag of guts , that roasted Manningtree ox with the
  8. pudding in his belly , that reverent Vice , that grey
  9. Iniquity , that father ruffian , that vanity in years ? Wherein
  10. is he good , but to taste sack and drink it ? Wherein neat and
  11. cleanly , but to carve a capon and eat it ? Wherein cunning ,
  12. but in craft ? Wherein crafty , but in villainy ? Wherein
  13. villainous , but in all things ? Wherein worthy , but in
  14. nothing ?

Falstaff

409 - 410
  1. I would your Grace would take me with you . Whom means your
  2. Grace ?

Prince Henry

411 - 412
  1. That villainous abominable misleader of youth , Falstaff ,
  2. that old white - bearded Satan .

Falstaff

413
  1. My lord , the man I know .

Prince Henry

414
  1. I know thou dost .

Falstaff

415 - 427
  1. But to say I know more harm in him than in myself , were to
  2. say more than I know . That he is old , the more the pity , his
  3. white hairs do witness it , but that he is , saving your
  4. reverence , a whoremaster , that I utterly deny . If sack and
  5. sugar be a fault , God help the wicked ! If to be old and
  6. merry be a sin , then many an old host that I know is damn’d .
  7. If to be fat be to be hated , then Pharaoh’s lean kine are to
  8. be lov’d . No , my good lord , banish Peto , banish Bardolph ,
  9. banish Poins , but for sweet Jack Falstaff , kind Jack
  10. Falstaff , true Jack Falstaff , valiant Jack Falstaff , and
  11. therefore more valiant , being as he is old Jack Falstaff ,
  12. banish not him thy Harry’s company , banish not him thy
  13. Harry’s company banish plump Jack , and banish all the world .

Prince Henry

428
  1. I do , I will .
  1. A knocking heard .
  1. Exeunt Hostess , Francis , and Bardolph .
  1. Enter Bardolph running .

Bardolph

429 - 430
  1. O my lord , my lord , the sheriff with a most monstrous watch
  2. is at the door .

Falstaff

431 - 432
  1. Out , ye rogue , play out the play , I have much to say in the
  2. behalf of that Falstaff .
  1. Enter the Hostess .

Hostess

433
  1. O Jesu , my lord , my lord !

Prince Henry

434 - 435
  1. Heigh , heigh ! The devil rides upon a fiddlestick . What’s the
  2. matter ?

Hostess

436 - 437
  1. The sheriff and all the watch are at the door , they are come
  2. to search the house . Shall I let them in ?

Falstaff

438 - 439
  1. Dost thou hear , Hal ? Never call a true piece of gold a
  2. counterfeit . Thou art essentially made , without seeming so .

Prince Henry

440
  1. And thou a natural coward , without instinct .

Falstaff

441 - 444
  1. I deny your major . If you will deny the sheriff , so , if not ,
  2. let him enter . If I become not a cart as well as another
  3. man , a plague on my bringing up ! I hope I shall as soon be
  4. strangled with a halter as another .

Prince Henry

445 - 446
  1. Go hide thee behind the arras , the rest walk up above . Now ,
  2. my masters , for a true face and good conscience .

Falstaff

447 - 448
  1. Both which I have had , but their date is out , and therefore
  2. I’ll hide me .
  1. Exit .

Prince Henry

449 - 450
  1. Call in the sheriff .
  2. Exeunt all except the Prince and Peto .
  3. Enter Sheriff and the First Carrier .
  4. Now , Master Sheriff , what is your will with me ?

Sheriff

451 - 452
  1. First , pardon me , my lord . A hue and cry
  2. Hath followed certain men unto this house .

Prince Henry

453
  1. What men ?

Sheriff

454 - 455
  1. One of them is well known , my gracious lord ,
  2. A gross fat man .

First Carrier

456
  1. As fat as butter .

Prince Henry

457 - 463
  1. The man I do assure you is not here ,
  2. For I myself at this time have employ’d him .
  3. And , sheriff , I will engage my word to thee
  4. That I will by tomorrow dinner - time
  5. Send him to answer thee , or any man ,
  6. For any thing he shall be charg’d withal ,
  7. And so let me entreat you leave the house .

Sheriff

464 - 465
  1. I will , my lord . There are two gentlemen
  2. Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks .

Prince Henry

466 - 467
  1. It may be so . If he have robb’d these men ,
  2. He shall be answerable , and so farewell .

Sheriff

468
  1. Good night , my noble lord .

Prince Henry

469
  1. I think it is good morrow , is it not ?

Sheriff

470
  1. Indeed , my lord , I think it be two a’ clock .
  1. Exit with First Carrier .

Prince Henry

471 - 472
  1. This oily rascal is known as well as Paul’s . Go call him
  2. forth .

Peto

473 - 474
  1. Falstaff !— Fast asleep behind the arras , and snorting like a
  2. horse .

Prince Henry

475 - 476
  1. Hark how hard he fetches breath . Search his pockets .
  2. He searcheth his pocket , and findeth certain papers .
  3. What hast thou found ?

Peto

477
  1. Nothing but papers , my lord .

Prince Henry

478
  1. Let’s see what they be . Read them .

Peto

479 - 483
  1. Reads .
  2. Item , a capon 2s . 2d .
  3. Item , sauce 4d .
  4. Item , sack , two gallons 5s . 8d .
  5. Item , anchovies and sack after supper 2s . 6d .
  6. Item , bread ob .

Prince Henry

484 - 492
  1. O monstrous ! But one half - penny - worth of bread to this
  2. intolerable deal of sack ! What there is else , keep close ,
  3. we’ll read it at more advantage . There let him sleep till
  4. day . I’ll to the court in the morning . We must all to the
  5. wars , and thy place shall be honorable . I’ll procure this
  6. fat rogue a charge of foot , and I know his death will be a
  7. march of twelve score . The money shall be paid back again
  8. with advantage . Be with me betimes in the morning , and so
  9. good morrow , Pero .

Peto

493
  1. Good morrow , good my lord .
  1. Exeunt .
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