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Henry IV, Pt. 1: Act II, Scene 1

Henry IV, Pt. 1
Act II, Scene 1

Scene 1

Rochester. An inn yard.

  1. Enter a Carrier with a lantern in his hand.

First Carrier

1 - 3
  1. Heigh-ho! An’ it be not four by the day, I’ll be hang’d.
  2. Charles’ wain is over the new chimney, and yet our horse not
  3. pack’d. What, ostler!

Ostler

4
  1. Within.
  2. Anon, anon.

First Carrier

5 - 6
  1. I prithee, Tom, beat Cut’s saddle, put a few flocks in the
  2. point. Poor jade is wrung in the withers, out of all cess.
  1. Enter another Carrier.

Second Carrier

7 - 9
  1. Peas and beans are as dank here as a dog, and that is the
  2. next way to give poor jades the bots. This house is turn’d
  3. upside down since Robin ostler died.

First Carrier

10 - 11
  1. Poor fellow never joy’d since the price of oats rose, it was
  2. the death of him.

Second Carrier

12 - 13
  1. I think this be the most villainous house in all London road
  2. for fleas. I am stung like a tench.

First Carrier

14 - 15
  1. Like a tench? By the mass, there is ne’er a king christen
  2. could be better bit than I have been since the first cock.

Second Carrier

16 - 18
  1. Why, they will allow us ne’er a jordan, and then we leak in
  2. your chimney, and your chamber-lye breeds fleas like a
  3. loach.

First Carrier

19
  1. What, ostler! Come away and be hang’d! Come away.

Second Carrier

20 - 21
  1. I have a gammon of bacon and two razes of ginger, to be
  2. deliver’d as far as Charing-cross.

First Carrier

22 - 26
  1. God’s body, the turkeys in my pannier are quite starv’d.
  2. What, ostler! A plague on thee! Hast thou never an eye in
  3. thy head? Canst not hear? And ’twere not as good deed as
  4. drink to break the pate on thee, I am a very villain. Come,
  5. and be hang’d! Hast no faith in thee?
  1. Enter Gadshill.

Gadshill

27
  1. Good morrow, carriers, what’s a’ clock?

First Carrier

28
  1. I think it be two a’ clock.

Gadshill

29 - 30
  1. I prithee lend me thy lantern, to see my gelding in the
  2. stable.

First Carrier

31 - 32
  1. Nay, by God, soft, I know a trick worth two of that, i’
  2. faith.

Gadshill

33
  1. I pray thee lend me thine.

Second Carrier

34 - 35
  1. Ay, when, canst tell? Lend me thy lantern, quoth he! Marry,
  2. I’ll see thee hang’d first.

Gadshill

36
  1. Sirrah carrier, what time do you mean to come to London?

Second Carrier

37 - 39
  1. Time enough to go to bed with a candle, I warrant thee.
  2. Come, neighbor Mugs, we’ll call up the gentlemen. They will
  3. along with company, for they have great charge.
  1. Exeunt Carriers.

Gadshill

40
  1. What ho! Chamberlain!
  1. Enter Chamberlain.

Chamberlain

41
  1. At hand, quoth pick-purse.

Gadshill

42 - 44
  1. That’s even as fair asat hand, quoth the chamberlain; for
  2. thou variest no more from picking of purses than giving
  3. direction doth from laboring: thou layest the plot how.

Chamberlain

45 - 51
  1. Good morrow, Master Gadshill. It holds current that I told
  2. you yesternight: there’s a franklin in the Wild of Kent hath
  3. brought three hundred marks with him in gold. I heard him
  4. tell it to one of his company last night at supper, a kind
  5. of auditor, one that hath abundance of charge tooGod knows
  6. what. They are up already, and call for eggs and butter.
  7. They will away presently.

Gadshill

52 - 53
  1. Sirrah, if they meet not with Saint Nicholas’ clerks, I’ll
  2. give thee this neck.

Chamberlain

54 - 56
  1. No, I’ll none of it, I pray thee keep that for the hangman,
  2. for I know thou worshippest Saint Nicholas as truly as a man
  3. of falsehood may.

Gadshill

57 - 72
  1. What talkest thou to me of the hangman? If I hang, I’ll make
  2. a fat pair of gallows; for if I hang, old Sir John hangs
  3. with me, and thou knowest he is no starveling. Tut, there
  4. are other Troyans that thou dream’st not of, the which for
  5. sport sake are content to do the profession some grace, that
  6. would (if matters should be look’d into) for their own
  7. credit sake make all whole. I am join’d with no foot
  8. land-rakers, no long-staff sixpenny strikers, none of these
  9. mad mustachio purple-hu’d malt-worms, but with nobility and
  10. tranquility, burgomasters and great oney’rs, such as can
  11. hold in, such as will strike sooner than speak, and speak
  12. sooner than drink, and drink sooner than pray; and yet,
  13. ’zounds, I lie, for they pray continually to their saint,
  14. the commonwealth, or rather, not pray to her, but prey on
  15. her, for they ride up and down on her, and make her their
  16. boots.

Chamberlain

73 - 74
  1. What, the commonwealth their boots? Will she hold out water
  2. in foul way?

Gadshill

75 - 77
  1. She will, she will, justice hath liquor’d her. We steal as
  2. in a castle, cock-sure; we have the receipt of fern-seed, we
  3. walk invisible.

Chamberlain

78 - 79
  1. Nay, by my faith, I think you are more beholding to the
  2. night than to fern-seed for your walking invisible.

Gadshill

80 - 81
  1. Give me thy hand. Thou shalt have a share in our purchase,
  2. as I am a true man.

Chamberlain

82
  1. Nay, rather let me have it as you are a false thief.

Gadshill

83 - 85
  1. Go to, homo is a common name to all men. Bid the ostler
  2. bring my gelding out of the stable. Farewell, you muddy
  3. knave.
  1. Exeunt.
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