As You Like It
Act V, Scene 4
Another part of the Forest of Arden.
- Enter Duke Senior, Amiens, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, Celia.
Duke Senior1 - 2
- Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy
- Can do all this that he hath promised?
Orlando3 - 4
- I sometimes do believe, and sometimes do not,
- As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.
- Enter Rosalind, Silvius, and Phebe.
Rosalind5 - 7
- Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg’d:
- You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,
- You will bestow her on Orlando here?
- That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.
- And you say you will have her, when I bring her.
- That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.
- You say you’ll marry me, if I be willing?
- That will I, should I die the hour after.
Rosalind13 - 14
- But if you do refuse to marry me,
- You’ll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?
- So is the bargain.
- You say that you’ll have Phebe, if she will?
- Though to have her and death were both one thing.
Rosalind18 - 25
- I have promis’d to make all this matter even:
- Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter;
- You, yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter;
- Keep you your word, Phebe, that you’ll marry me,
- Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd;
- Keep your word, Silvius, that you’ll marry her
- If she refuse me; and from hence I go
- To make these doubts all even.
- Exeunt Rosalind and Celia.
Duke Senior26 - 27
- I do remember in this shepherd boy
- Some lively touches of my daughter’s favor.
Orlando28 - 34
- My lord, the first time that I ever saw him
- Methought he was a brother to your daughter.
- But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,
- And hath been tutor’d in the rudiments
- Of many desperate studies by his uncle,
- Whom he reports to be a great magician,
- Obscured in the circle of this forest.
- Enter Clown (Touchstone) and Audrey.
Jaques35 - 37
- There is sure another flood toward, and these couples are
- coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts,
- which in all tongues are call’d fools.
- Salutation and greeting to you all!
Jaques39 - 41
- Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded
- gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He hath
- been a courtier, he swears.
Touchstone42 - 46
- If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I
- have trod a measure, I have flatt’red a lady, I have been
- politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy, I have
- undone three tailors, I have had four quarrels, and like to
- have fought one.
- And how was that ta’en up?
Touchstone48 - 49
- Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh
- How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.
- I like him very well.
Touchstone52 - 58
- God ’ild you, sir, I desire you of the like. I press in
- here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to
- swear and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood
- breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favor’d thing, sir, but
- mine own; a poor humor of mine, sir, to take that that no
- man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a
- poor house, as your pearl in your foul oyster.
- By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.
- According to the fool’s bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.
Jaques61 - 62
- But for the seventh cause—how did you find the quarrel on
- the seventh cause?
Touchstone63 - 75
- Upon a lie seven times remov’d (bear your body more seeming,
- Audrey), as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain
- courtier’s beard. He sent me word, if I said his beard was
- not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is call’d the
- Retort Courteous. If I sent him word again, it was not well
- cut, he would send me word he cut it to please himself: this
- is call’d the Quip Modest. If again, it was not well cut, he
- disabled my judgment: this is call’d the Reply Churlish. If
- again, it was not well cut, he would answer I spake not
- true: this is call’d the Reproof Valiant. If again, it was
- not well cut, he would say I lie: this is call’d the
- Countercheck Quarrelsome; and so to Lie Circumstantial and
- the Lie Direct.
- And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?
Touchstone77 - 79
- I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial, nor he
- durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we measur’d swords
- and parted.
- Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?
Touchstone81 - 92
- O sir, we quarrel in print, by the book—as you have books
- for good manners. I will name you the degrees. The first,
- the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the
- third, the Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant;
- the fift, the Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixt, the Lie
- with Circumstance; the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these
- you may avoid but the Lie Direct; and you may avoid that
- too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take
- up a quarrel, but when the parties were met themselves, one
- of them thought but of an If, as, “If you said so, then I
- said so”; and they shook hands and swore brothers. Your If
- is the only peacemaker; much virtue in If.
Jaques93 - 94
- Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He’s as good at any
- thing, and yet a fool.
Duke Senior95 - 96
- He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the
- presentation of that he shoots his wit.
- Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia. Still music.
Hymen97 - 104
- Then is there mirth in heaven,
- When earthly things made even
- Atone together.
- Good Duke, receive thy daughter,
- Hymen from heaven brought her,
- Yea, brought her hither,
- That thou mightst join her hand with his
- Whose heart within his bosom is.
Rosalind105 - 106
- To Duke Senior.
- To you I give myself, for I am yours.
- To Orlando.
- To you I give myself, for I am yours.
- If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.
- If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.
Phebe109 - 110
- If sight and shape be true,
- Why then my love adieu!
Rosalind111 - 113
- I’ll have no father, if you be not he;
- I’ll have no husband, if you be not he;
- Nor ne’er wed woman, if you be not she.
Hymen114 - 135
- Peace ho! I bar confusion,
- ’Tis I must make conclusion
- Of these most strange events.
- Here’s eight that must take hands
- To join in Hymen’s bands,
- If truth holds true contents.
- To Orlando and Rosalind.
- You and you no cross shall part;
- To Oliver and Celia.
- You and you are heart in heart;
- To Phebe.
- You to his love must accord,
- Or have a woman to your lord;
- To Touchstone and Audrey.
- You and you are sure together,
- As the winter to foul weather.—
- Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,
- Feed yourselves with questioning;
- That reason wonder may diminish
- How thus we met, and these things finish.
- Wedding is great Juno’s crown,
- O blessed bond of board and bed!
- ’Tis Hymen peoples every town,
- High wedlock then be honored.
- Honor, high honor, and renown
- To Hymen, god of every town!
Duke Senior136 - 137
- O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me,
- Even daughter, welcome, in no less degree.
Phebe138 - 139
- I will not eat my word, now thou art mine,
- Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.
- Enter Second Brother (Jaques De Boys).
Jaques De Boys140 - 155
- Let me have audience for a word or two.
- I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,
- That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.
- Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day
- Men of great worth resorted to this forest,
- Address’d a mighty power, which were on foot
- In his own conduct, purposely to take
- His brother here, and put him to the sword;
- And to the skirts of this wild wood he came;
- Where, meeting with an old religious man,
- After some question with him, was converted
- Both from his enterprise and from the world,
- His crown bequeathing to his banish’d brother,
- And all their lands restor’d to them again
- That were with him exil’d. This to be true,
- I do engage my life.
Duke Senior156 - 169
- Welcome, young man;
- Thou offer’st fairly to thy brothers’ wedding:
- To one his lands withheld, and to the other
- A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.
- First, in this forest let us do those ends
- That here were well begun and well begot;
- And after, every of this happy number,
- That have endur’d shrewd days and nights with us,
- Shall share the good of our returned fortune,
- According to the measure of their states.
- Mean time, forget this new-fall’n dignity,
- And fall into our rustic revelry.
- Play, music, and you brides and bridegrooms all,
- With measure heap’d in joy, to th’ measures fall.
Jaques170 - 172
- Sir, by your patience.—If I heard you rightly,
- The Duke hath put on a religious life,
- And thrown into neglect the pompous court?
Jaques De Boys173
- He hath.
Jaques174 - 183
- To him will I. Out of these convertites
- There is much matter to be heard and learn’d.
- To Duke Senior.
- You to your former honor I bequeath,
- Your patience and your virtue well deserves it;
- To Orlando.
- You to a love, that your true faith doth merit;
- To Oliver.
- You to your land, and love, and great allies;
- To Silvius.
- You to a long and well-deserved bed;
- To Touchstone.
- And you to wrangling, for thy loving voyage
- Is but for two months victuall’d.—So to your pleasures,
- I am for other than for dancing measures.
- Stay, Jaques, stay.
Jaques185 - 186
- To see no pastime I. What you would have
- I’ll stay to know at your abandon’d cave.
Duke Senior187 - 188
- Proceed, proceed. We’ll begin these rites,
- As we do trust they’ll end, in true delights.
- A dance.
- Exeunt all but Rosalind.