As You Like It
Act V, Scene 1
The Forest of Arden.
- Enter Clown (Touchstone) and Audrey.
Touchstone
1- We shall find a time, Audrey, patience, gentle Audrey.
Audrey
2 - 3- Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old
- gentleman’s saying.
Touchstone
4 - 6- A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile Martext. But,
- Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim to
- you.
Audrey
7 - 8- Ay, I know who ’tis; he hath no interest in me in the world.
- Here comes the man you mean.
- Enter William.
Touchstone
9 - 11- It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my troth, we
- that have good wits have much to answer for; we shall be
- flouting; we cannot hold.
William
12- Good ev’n, Audrey.
Audrey
13- God ye good ev’n, William.
William
14- And good ev’n to you, sir.
Touchstone
15 - 16- Good ev’n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy head;
- nay, prithee be cover’d. How old are you, friend?
William
17- Five and twenty, sir.
Touchstone
18- A ripe age. Is thy name William?
William
19- William, sir.
Touchstone
20- A fair name. Wast born i’ the forest here?
William
21- Ay, sir, I thank God.
Touchstone
22- “Thank God”—a good answer. Art rich?
William
23- Faith, sir, so, so.
Touchstone
24 - 25- “So, so” is good, very good, very excellent good; and yet it
- is not, it is but so, so. Art thou wise?
William
26- Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.
Touchstone
27 - 32- Why, thou say’st well. I do now remember a saying, “The fool
- doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be
- a fool.” The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to
- eat a grape, would open his lips when he put it into his
- mouth, meaning thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips
- to open. You do love this maid?
I will kill thee a hundred and fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart.
William Knight Keeling, unknown date
William
33- I do, sir.
Touchstone
34- Give me your hand. Art thou learned?
William
35- No, sir.
Touchstone
36 - 40- Then learn this of me: to have, is to have. For it is a
- figure in rhetoric that drink, being pour’d out of a cup
- into a glass, by filling the one doth empty the other. For
- all your writers do consent that ipse is he: now, you are
- not ipse, for I am he.
William
41- Which he, sir?
Touchstone
42 - 52- He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you clown,
- abandon—which is in the vulgar leave—the society—which in
- the boorish is company—of this female—which in the common is
- woman; which together is, abandon the society of this
- female, or, clown, thou perishest; or to thy better
- understanding, diest; or (to wit) I kill thee, make thee
- away, translate thy life into death, thy liberty into
- bondage. I will deal in poison with thee, or in bastinado,
- or in steel; I will bandy with thee in faction; I will
- o’errun thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred and
- fifty ways: therefore tremble and depart.
Audrey
53- Do, good William.
William
54- God rest you merry, sir.
- Exit.
- Enter Corin.
Corin
55- Our master and mistress seeks you. Come away, away!
Touchstone
56- Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey! I attend, I attend.
- Exeunt.
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool
Frederick William Davis, circa 1902