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As You Like It: Act IV, Scene 1

As You Like It
Act IV, Scene 1

Scene 1

The Forest of Arden.

  1. Enter Rosalind and Celia and Jaques.

Jaques

1 - 2
  1. I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted with
  2. thee.

Rosalind

3
  1. They say you are a melancholy fellow.

Jaques

4
  1. I am so; I do love it better than laughing.

Rosalind

5 - 7
  1. Those that are in extremity of either are abominable
  2. fellows, and betray themselves to every modern censure worse
  3. than drunkards.

Jaques

8
  1. Why, ’tis good to be sad and say nothing.

Rosalind

9
  1. Why then ’tis good to be a post.

Jaques

10 - 18
  1. I have neither the scholar’s melancholy, which is emulation;
  2. nor the musician’s, which is fantastical; nor the
  3. courtier’s, which is proud; nor the soldier’s, which is
  4. ambitious; nor the lawyer’s, which is politic; nor the
  5. lady’s, which is nice; nor the lover’s, which is all these:
  6. but it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many
  7. simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry
  8. contemplation of my travels, in which my often rumination
  9. wraps me in a most humorous sadness.

Rosalind

19 - 22
  1. A traveler! By my faith, you have great reason to be sad. I
  2. fear you have sold your own lands to see other men’s; then
  3. to have seen much, and to have nothing, is to have rich eyes
  4. and poor hands.

Jaques

23
  1. Yes, I have gain’d my experience.
  1. Enter Orlando.

Rosalind

24 - 26
  1. And your experience makes you sad. I had rather have a fool
  2. to make me merry than experience to make me sadand to
  3. travel for it too!

Orlando

27
  1. Good day and happiness, dear Rosalind!

Jaques

28
  1. Nay then God buy you, and you talk in blank verse.

Rosalind

29 - 36
  1. Farewell, Monsieur Traveler: look you lisp and wear strange
  2. suits; disable all the benefits of your own country; be out
  3. of love with your nativity, and almost chide God for making
  4. you that countenance you are; or I will scarce think you
  5. have swam in a gundello.
  6. Exit Jaques.
  7. Why, how now, Orlando, where have you been all this while?
  8. You a lover! And you serve me such another trick, never come
  9. in my sight more.

Orlando

37
  1. My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.

Rosalind

38 - 42
  1. Break an hour’s promise in love! He that will divide a
  2. minute into a thousand parts, and break but a part of the
  3. thousand part of a minute in the affairs of love, it may be
  4. said of him that Cupid hath clapp’d him o’ th’ shoulder, but
  5. I’ll warrant him heart-whole.

Orlando

43
  1. Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

Rosalind

44 - 45
  1. Nay, and you be so tardy, come no more in my sight. I had as
  2. lief be woo’d of a snail.

Orlando

46
  1. Of a snail?

Rosalind

47 - 49
  1. Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he carries his
  2. house on his head; a better jointure I think than you make a
  3. woman. Besides, he brings his destiny with him.

Orlando

50
  1. What’s that?

Rosalind

51 - 53
  1. Why, horns! Which such as you are fain to be beholding to
  2. your wives for. But he comes arm’d in his fortune, and
  3. prevents the slander of his wife.

Orlando

54
  1. Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous.

Rosalind

55
  1. And I am your Rosalind.

Celia

56 - 57
  1. It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind of a
  2. better leer than you.

Rosalind

58 - 60
  1. Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday humor, and
  2. like enough to consent. What would you say to me now, and I
  3. were your very very Rosalind?

Orlando

61
  1. I would kiss before I spoke.

Rosalind

62 - 66
  1. Nay, you were better speak first, and when you were
  2. gravell’d for lack of matter, you might take occasion to
  3. kiss. Very good orators when they are out, they will spit,
  4. and for lovers lacking (God warn us!) matter, the cleanliest
  5. shift is to kiss.

Orlando

67
  1. How if the kiss be denied?

Rosalind

68
  1. Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new matter.

Orlando

69
  1. Who could be out, being before his belov’d mistress?

Rosalind

70 - 71
  1. Marry, that should you if I were your mistress, or I should
  2. think my honesty ranker than my wit.

Orlando

72
  1. What, of my suit?

Rosalind

73 - 74
  1. Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit. Am not I
  2. your Rosalind?

Orlando

75 - 76
  1. I take some joy to say you are, because I would be talking
  2. of her.

Rosalind

77
  1. Well, in her person, I say I will not have you.

Orlando

78
  1. Then in mine own person, I die.

Rosalind

79 - 91
  1. No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost six
  2. thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any
  3. man died in his own person, videlicet, in a love-cause.
  4. Troilus had his brains dash’d out with a Grecian club, yet
  5. he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the
  6. patterns of love. Leander, he would have liv’d many a fair
  7. year though Hero had turn’d nun, if it had not been for a
  8. hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to
  9. wash him in the Hellespont, and being taken with the cramp
  10. was drown’d; and the foolish chroniclers of that age found
  11. it wasHero of Sestos. But these are all lies: men have died
  12. from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for
  13. love.

Orlando

92 - 93
  1. I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind, for I
  2. protest her frown might kill me.

Rosalind

94 - 96
  1. By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I will
  2. be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition; and ask me
  3. what you will, I will grant it.

Orlando

97
  1. Then love me, Rosalind.

Rosalind

98
  1. Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all.

Orlando

99
  1. And wilt thou have me?

Rosalind

100
  1. Ay, and twenty such.

Orlando

101
  1. What sayest thou?

Rosalind

102
  1. Are you not good?

Orlando

103
  1. I hope so.

Rosalind

104 - 106
  1. Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing? Come,
  2. sister, you shall be the priest, and marry us. Give me your
  3. hand, Orlando. What do you say, sister?

Orlando

107
  1. Pray thee marry us.

Celia

108
  1. I cannot say the words.

Rosalind

109
  1. You must begin, Will you, Orlando”—

Celia

110
  1. Go to! Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

Orlando

111
  1. I will.

Rosalind

112
  1. Ay, but when?

Orlando

113
  1. Why, now, as fast as she can marry us.

Rosalind

114
  1. Then you must say, I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.”

Orlando

115
  1. I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

Rosalind

116 - 119
  1. I might ask you for your commission, but I do take thee,
  2. Orlando, for my husband. There’s a girl goes before the
  3. priest, and certainly a woman’s thought runs before her
  4. actions.

Orlando

120
  1. So do all thoughts, they are wing’d.

Rosalind

121 - 122
  1. Now tell me how long you would have her after you have
  2. possess’d her.

Orlando

123
  1. Forever and a day.

Rosalind

124 - 133
  1. Say a day,” without the ever.” No, no, Orlando, men are
  2. April when they woo, December when they wed; maids are May
  3. when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are
  4. wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary
  5. cock-pigeon over his hen, more clamorous than a parrot
  6. against rain, more new-fangled than an ape, more giddy in my
  7. desires than a monkey. I will weep for nothing, like Diana
  8. in the fountain, and I will do that when you are dispos’d to
  9. be merry. I will laugh like a hyen, and that when thou art
  10. inclin’d to sleep.

Orlando

134
  1. But will my Rosalind do so?

Rosalind

135
  1. By my life, she will do as I do.

Orlando

136
  1. O, but she is wise.

Rosalind

137 - 141
  1. Or else she could not have the wit to do this; the wiser,
  2. the waywarder. Make the doors upon a woman’s wit, and it
  3. will out at the casement; shut that, and ’twill out at the
  4. key-hole; stop that, ’twill fly with the smoke out at the
  5. chimney.

Orlando

142 - 143
  1. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say, Wit,
  2. whither wilt?”

Rosalind

144 - 145
  1. Nay, you might keep that check for it, till you met your
  2. wive’s wit going to your neighbor’s bed.

Orlando

146
  1. And what wit could wit have to excuse that?

Rosalind

147 - 151
  1. Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall never
  2. take her without her answer, unless you take her without her
  3. tongue. O, that woman that cannot make her fault her
  4. husband’s occasion, let her never nurse her child herself,
  5. for she will breed it like a fool!

Orlando

152
  1. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.

Rosalind

153
  1. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours!

Orlando

154 - 155
  1. I must attend the Duke at dinner. By two a’ clock I will be
  2. with thee again.

Rosalind

156 - 159
  1. Ay, go your ways, go your ways; I knew what you would prove;
  2. my friends told me as much, and I thought no less. That
  3. flattering tongue of yours won me. ’Tis but one cast away,
  4. and so come death! Two a’ clock is your hour?

Orlando

160
  1. Ay, sweet Rosalind.

Rosalind

161 - 168
  1. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me, and by
  2. all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one
  3. jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I
  4. will think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the
  5. most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call
  6. Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the
  7. unfaithful; therefore beware my censure, and keep your
  8. promise.

Orlando

169 - 170
  1. With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind;
  2. so adieu.

Rosalind

171 - 172
  1. Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such
  2. offenders, and let Time try. Adieu.
  1. Exit Orlando.

Celia

173 - 175
  1. You have simply misus’d our sex in your love-prate. We must
  2. have your doublet and hose pluck’d over your head, and show
  3. the world what the bird hath done to her own nest.

Rosalind

176 - 179
  1. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know
  2. how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded;
  3. my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of
  4. Portugal.

Celia

180 - 181
  1. Or rather, bottomlessthat as fast as you pour affection in,
  2. it runs out.

Rosalind

182 - 187
  1. No, that same wicked bastard of Venus that was begot of
  2. thought, conceiv’d of spleen, and born of madness, that
  3. blind rascally boy that abuses every one’s eyes because his
  4. own are out, let him be judge how deep I am in love. I’ll
  5. tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando.
  6. I’ll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come.

Celia

188
  1. And I’ll sleep.
  1. Exeunt.
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