All’s Well That Ends Well
Act IV, Scene 3
The Florentine camp .
- Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers .
First French Lord Dumaine1
- You have not given him his mother’s letter ?
Second French Lord Dumaine2 - 4
- I have deliv’red it an hour since . There is something in’t
- that stings his nature ; for on the reading it he chang’d
- almost into another man .
First French Lord Dumaine5 - 6
- He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so
- good a wife and so sweet a lady .
Second French Lord Dumaine7 - 10
- Especially he hath incurr’d the everlasting displeasure of
- the King , who had even tun’d his bounty to sing happiness to
- him . I will tell you a thing , but you shall let it dwell
- darkly with you .
First French Lord Dumaine11 - 12
- When you have spoken it , ’tis dead , and I am the grave of
- it .
Second French Lord Dumaine13 - 16
- He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence , of a
- most chaste renown , and this night he fleshes his will in
- the spoil of her honor . He hath given her his monumental
- ring , and thinks himself made in the unchaste composition .
First French Lord Dumaine17 - 18
- Now God delay our rebellion ! As we are ourselves , what
- things are we !
Second French Lord Dumaine19 - 23
- Merely our own traitors . And as in the common course of all
- treasons , we still see them reveal themselves , till they
- attain to their abhorr’d ends ; so he that in this action
- contrives against his own nobility in his proper stream
- o’erflows himself .
First French Lord Dumaine24 - 26
- Is it not meant damnable in us , to be trumpeters of our
- unlawful intents ? We shall not then have his company
- tonight ?
Second French Lord Dumaine27
- Not till after midnight ; for he is dieted to his hour .
First French Lord Dumaine28 - 30
- That approaches apace . I would gladly have him see his
- company anatomiz’d , that he might take a measure of his own
- judgments , wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit .
Second French Lord Dumaine31 - 32
- We will not meddle with him till he come ; for his presence
- must be the whip of the other .
First French Lord Dumaine33
- In the meantime , what hear you of these wars ?
Second French Lord Dumaine34
- I hear there is an overture of peace .
First French Lord Dumaine35
- Nay , I assure you a peace concluded .
Second French Lord Dumaine36 - 37
- What will Count Roussillon do then ? Will he travel higher ,
- or return again into France ?
First French Lord Dumaine38 - 39
- I perceive by this demand , you are not altogether of his
- counsel .
Second French Lord Dumaine40 - 41
- Let it be forbid , sir , so should I be a great deal of his
- act .
First French Lord Dumaine42 - 47
- Sir , his wife some two months since fled from his house . Her
- pretense is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand ; which
- holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony she
- accomplish’d ; and there residing , the tenderness of her
- nature became as a prey to her grief ; in fine , made a groan
- of her last breath , and now she sings in heaven .
Second French Lord Dumaine48
- How is this justified ?
First French Lord Dumaine49 - 52
- The stronger part of it by her own letters , which makes her
- story true , even to the point of her death . Her death
- itself , which could not be her office to say is come , was
- faithfully confirm’d by the rector of the place .
Second French Lord Dumaine53
- Hath the Count all this intelligence ?
First French Lord Dumaine54 - 55
- Ay , and the particular confirmations , point from point , to
- the full arming of the verity .
Second French Lord Dumaine56
- I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this .
First French Lord Dumaine57
- How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses !
Second French Lord Dumaine58 - 60
- And how mightily some other times we drown our gain in
- tears ! The great dignity that his valor hath here acquir’d
- for him shall at home be encount’red with a shame as ample .
First French Lord Dumaine61 - 65
- The web of our life is of a mingled yarn , good and ill
- together : our virtues would be proud , if our faults whipt
- them not , and our crimes would despair , if they were not
- cherish’d by our virtues .
- Enter a Messenger .
- How now ? Where’s your master ?
Messenger66 - 68
- He met the Duke in the street , sir , of whom he hath taken a
- solemn leave . His lordship will next morning for France . The
- Duke hath offer’d him letters of commendations to the King .
Second French Lord Dumaine69 - 70
- They shall be no more than needful there , if they were more
- than they can commend .
- Exit Messenger .
- Enter ( Bertram ) Count Roussillon .
First French Lord Dumaine71 - 72
- They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness . Here’s his
- lordship now . How now , my lord , is’t not after midnight ?
Bertram73 - 79
- I have tonight dispatch’d sixteen businesses , a month’s
- length a - piece , by an abstract of success : I have congied
- with the Duke , done my adieu with his nearest ; buried a
- wife , mourn’d for her , writ to my lady mother I am
- returning , entertain’d my convoy , and between these main
- parcels of dispatch effected many nicer needs . The last was
- the greatest , but that I have not ended yet .
Second French Lord Dumaine80 - 81
- If the business be of any difficulty , and this morning your
- departure hence , it requires haste of your lordship .
Bertram82 - 85
- I mean the business is not ended , as fearing to hear of it
- hereafter . But shall we have this dialogue between the fool
- and the soldier ? Come , bring forth this counterfeit module ,
- h’as deceiv’d me like a double - meaning prophesier .
Second French Lord Dumaine86 - 87
- Bring him forth , h’as sate i’ th’ stocks all night , poor
- gallant knave .
- Exeunt Soldiers .
Bertram88 - 89
- No matter , his heels have deserv’d it , in usurping his spurs
- so long . How does he carry himself ?
Second French Lord Dumaine90 - 95
- I have told your lordship already : the stocks carry him . But
- to answer you as you would be understood , he weeps like a
- wench that had shed her milk . He hath confess’d himself to
- Morgan , whom he supposes to be a friar , from the time of his
- remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting i’
- th’ stocks ; and what think you he hath confess’d ?
- Nothing of me , has ’a ?
Second French Lord Dumaine97 - 99
- His confession is taken , and it shall be read to his face .
- If your lordship be in’t , as I believe you are , you must
- have the patience to hear it .
- Enter Soldiers and Parolles , with First Soldier as his
- Interpreter .
- A plague upon him ! Muffled ! He can say nothing of me .
First French Lord Dumaine101
- Hush , hush ! Hoodman comes ! Portotartarossa .
- He calls for the tortures . What will you say without ’em ?
Parolles103 - 104
- I will confess what I know without constraint . If ye pinch
- me like a pasty , I can say no more .
- Bosko chimurcho .
First French Lord Dumaine106
- Boblibindo chicurmurco .
First Soldier107 - 108
- You are a merciful general . Our general bids you answer to
- what I shall ask you out of a note .
- And truly , as I hope to live .
First Soldier110 - 111
- Reads .
- “ First demand of him , how many horse the Duke is strong .”
- What say you to that ?
Parolles112 - 114
- Five or six thousand , but very weak and unserviceable . The
- troops are all scatter’d , and the commanders very poor
- rogues , upon my reputation and credit and as I hope to live .
- Shall I set down your answer so ?
Parolles116 - 117
- Do , I’ll take the sacrament on’t , how and which way you
- will .
- All’s one to him . What a past - saving slave is this !
First French Lord Dumaine119 - 122
- Y’ are deceiv’d , my lord , this is Monsieur Parolles , the
- gallant militarist — that was his own phrase — that had the
- whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf , and the
- practice in the chape of his dagger .
Second French Lord Dumaine123 - 125
- I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean ,
- nor believe he can have every thing in him by wearing his
- apparel neatly .
- Well , that’s set down .
Parolles127 - 128
- “ Five or six thousand horse ,” I said — I will say true — “ or
- thereabouts ,” set down , for I’ll speak truth .
First French Lord Dumaine129
- He’s very near the truth in this .
- But I con him no thanks for’t , in the nature he delivers it .
- “ Poor rogues ,” I pray you say .
- Well , that’s set down .
Parolles133 - 134
- I humbly thank you , sir . A truth’s a truth , the rogues are
- marvelous poor .
First Soldier135 - 136
- Reads .
- “ Demand of him , of what strength they are afoot .”
- What say you to that ?
Parolles137 - 145
- By my troth , sir , if I were to live this present hour , I
- will tell true . Let me see : Spurio , a hundred and fifty ;
- Sebastian , so many ; Corambus , so many ; Jaques , so many ;
- Guiltian , Cosmo , Lodowick , and Gratii , two hundred fifty
- each ; mine own company , Chitopher , Vaumond , Bentii , two
- hundred fifty each ; so that the muster - file , rotten and
- sound , upon my life , amounts not to fifteen thousand pole ,
- half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their
- cassocks , lest they shake themselves to pieces .
- What shall be done to him ?
First French Lord Dumaine147 - 148
- Nothing , but let him have thanks . Demand of him my
- condition , and what credit I have with the Duke .
First Soldier149 - 155
- Well , that’s set down .
- Reads .
- “ You shall demand of him , whether one Captain Dumaine be i’
- th’ camp , a Frenchman ; what his reputation is with the Duke ;
- what his valor , honesty , and expertness in wars ; or whether
- he thinks it were not possible with well - weighing sums of
- gold to corrupt him to a revolt .”
- What say you to this ? What do you know of it ?
Parolles156 - 157
- I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
- inter’gatories . Demand them singly .
- Do you know this Captain Dumaine ?
Parolles159 - 161
- I know him . ’A was a botcher’s prentice in Paris , from
- whence he was whipt for getting the shrieve’s fool with
- child , a dumb innocent , that could not say him nay .
Bertram162 - 163
- Nay , by your leave , hold your hands — though I know his brains
- are forfeit to the next tile that falls .
- Well , is this captain in the Duke of Florence’s camp ?
- Upon my knowledge , he is , and lousy .
First French Lord Dumaine166 - 167
- Nay , look not so upon me ; we shall hear of your lordship
- anon .
- What is his reputation with the Duke ?
Parolles169 - 171
- The Duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine ,
- and writ to me this other day to turn him out a’ th’ band . I
- think I have his letter in my pocket .
- Marry , we’ll search .
Parolles173 - 174
- In good sadness , I do not know . Either it is there , or it is
- upon a file with the Duke’s other letters in my tent .
- Here ’tis , here’s a paper . Shall I read it to you ?
- I do not know if it be it or no .
- Our interpreter does it well .
First French Lord Dumaine178
- Excellently .
- Reads .
- “ Dian , the Count’s a fool , and full of gold ”—
Parolles180 - 183
- That is not the Duke’s letter , sir ; that is an advertisement
- to a proper maid in Florence , one Diana , to take heed of the
- allurement of one Count Roussillon , a foolish idle boy , but
- for all that very ruttish . I pray you , sir , put it up again .
- Nay , I’ll read it first , by your favor .
Parolles185 - 188
- My meaning in’t , I protest , was very honest in the behalf of
- the maid ; for I knew the young Count to be a dangerous and
- lascivious boy , who is a whale to virginity , and devours up
- all the fry it finds .
- Damnable both - sides rogue !
First Soldier190 - 199
- Reads the letter .
- “ When he swears oaths , bid him drop gold , and take it ;
- After he scores , he never pays the score .
- Half won is match well made ; match , and well make it ;
- He ne’er pays after - debts , take it before ,
- And say a soldier , Dian , told thee this :
- Men are to mell with , boys are not to kiss ;
- For count of this , the Count’s a fool , I know it ,
- Who pays before , but not when he does owe it .
- Thine , as he vow’d to thee in thine ear ,
- Parolles .”
Bertram200 - 201
- He shall be whipt through the army with this rhyme in ’s
- forehead .
Second French Lord Dumaine202 - 203
- This is your devoted friend , sir , the manifold linguist and
- the armipotent soldier .
Bertram204 - 205
- I could endure any thing before but a cat , and now he’s a
- cat to me .
First Soldier206 - 207
- I perceive , sir , by the general’s looks , we shall be fain to
- hang you .
Parolles208 - 211
- My life , sir , in any case ! Not that I am afraid to die , but
- that my offenses being many , I would repent out the
- remainder of nature . Let me live , sir , in a dungeon , i’ th’
- stocks , or any where , so I may live .
First Soldier212 - 215
- We’ll see what may be done , so you confess freely ; therefore
- once more to this Captain Dumaine . You have answer’d to his
- reputation with the Duke , and to his valor ; what is his
- honesty ?
Parolles216 - 225
- He will steal , sir , an egg out of a cloister . For rapes and
- ravishments he parallels Nessus . He professes not keeping of
- oaths ; in breaking ’em he is stronger than Hercules . He will
- lie , sir , with such volubility , that you would think truth
- were a fool . Drunkenness is his best virtue , for he will be
- swine - drunk , and in his sleep he does little harm , save to
- his bed - clothes about him ; but they know his conditions , and
- lay him in straw . I have but little more to say , sir , of his
- honesty . He has every thing that an honest man should not
- have ; what an honest man should have , he has nothing .
First French Lord Dumaine226
- I begin to love him for this .
Bertram227 - 228
- For this description of thine honesty ? A pox upon him for
- me , he’s more and more a cat .
- What say you to his expertness in war ?
Parolles230 - 235
- Faith , sir , h’as led the drum before the English tragedians .
- To belie him I will not , and more of his soldiership I know
- not , except in that country he had the honor to be the
- officer at a place there call’d Mile - end , to instruct for
- the doubling of files . I would do the man what honor I can ,
- but of this I am not certain .
First French Lord Dumaine236 - 237
- He hath out - villain’d villainy so far , that the rarity
- redeems him .
- A pox on him , he’s a cat still .
First Soldier239 - 240
- His qualities being at this poor price , I need not to ask
- you if gold will corrupt him to revolt .
Parolles241 - 244
- Sir , for a cardecue he will sell the fee - simple of his
- salvation , the inheritance of it , and cut th’ entail from
- all remainders , and a perpetual succession for it
- perpetually .
- What’s his brother , the other Captain Dumaine ?
Second French Lord Dumaine246
- Why does he ask him of me ?
- What’s he ?
Parolles248 - 252
- E’en a crow a’ th’ same nest ; not altogether so great as the
- first in goodness , but greater a great deal in evil . He
- excels his brother for a coward , yet his brother is reputed
- one of the best that is . In a retreat he outruns any lackey ;
- marry , in coming on he has the cramp .
First Soldier253 - 254
- If your life be sav’d , will you undertake to betray the
- Florentine ?
- Ay , and the captain of his horse , Count Roussillon .
- I’ll whisper with the general , and know his pleasure .
Parolles257 - 260
- Aside .
- I’ll no more drumming , a plague of all drums ! Only to seem
- to deserve well , and to beguile the supposition of that
- lascivious young boy the Count , have I run into this danger .
- Yet who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken ?
First Soldier261 - 265
- There is no remedy , sir , but you must die . The general says ,
- you that have so traitorously discover’d the secrets of your
- army , and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly
- held , can serve the world for no honest use ; therefore you
- must die . Come , headsman , off with his head .
- O Lord , sir , let me live , or let me see my death !
First Soldier267 - 268
- That shall you , and take your leave of all your friends .
- Unblinding him .
- So , look about you . Know you any here ?
- Good morrow , noble captain .
Second French Lord Dumaine270
- God bless you , Captain Parolles .
First French Lord Dumaine271
- God save you , noble captain .
Second French Lord Dumaine272 - 273
- Captain , what greeting will you to my Lord Lafew ? I am for
- France .
First French Lord Dumaine274 - 276
- Good captain , will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ
- to Diana in behalf of the Count Roussillon ? And I were not a
- very coward , I’d compel it of you , but fare you well .
- Exeunt Bertram and Lords .
First Soldier277 - 278
- You are undone , captain , all but your scarf ; that has a knot
- on’t yet .
- Who cannot be crush’d with a plot ?
First Soldier280 - 283
- If you could find out a country where but women were that
- had receiv’d so much shame , you might begin an impudent
- nation . Fare ye well , sir , I am for France too . We shall
- speak of you there .
- Exit with Soldiers .
Parolles284 - 294
- Yet am I thankful . If my heart were great ,
- ’Twould burst at this . Captain I’ll be no more ,
- But I will eat and drink , and sleep as soft
- As captain shall . Simply the thing I am
- Shall make me live . Who knows himself a braggart ,
- Let him fear this ; for it will come to pass
- That every braggart shall be found an ass .
- Rust sword , cool blushes , and , Parolles , live
- Safest in shame ! Being fool’d , by fool’ry thrive !
- There’s place and means for every man alive .
- I’ll after them .
- Exit .