All’s Well That Ends Well
Act 4, Scene 3
The Florentine camp.
- Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers.
First French Lord Dumaine2
- You have not given him his mother’s letter?
Second French Lord Dumaine3 - 5
- I have deliv’red it an hour since. There is something in’t
- that stings his nature; for on the reading it he chang’d
- almost into another man.
First French Lord Dumaine6 - 7
- He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking off so
- good a wife and so sweet a lady.
Second French Lord Dumaine8 - 11
- Especially he hath incurr’d the everlasting displeasure of
- the King, who had even tun’d his bounty to sing happiness to
- him. I will tell you a thing, but you shall let it dwell
- darkly with you.
First French Lord Dumaine12 - 13
- When you have spoken it, ’tis dead, and I am the grave of
Second French Lord Dumaine14 - 17
- He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in Florence, of a
- most chaste renown, and this night he fleshes his will in
- the spoil of her honor. He hath given her his monumental
- ring, and thinks himself made in the unchaste composition.
First French Lord Dumaine18 - 19
- Now God delay our rebellion! As we are ourselves, what
- things are we!
Second French Lord Dumaine20 - 24
- Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course of all
- treasons, we still see them reveal themselves, till they
- attain to their abhorr’d ends; so he that in this action
- contrives against his own nobility in his proper stream
- o’erflows himself.
First French Lord Dumaine25 - 27
- Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of our
- unlawful intents? We shall not then have his company
Second French Lord Dumaine28
- Not till after midnight; for he is dieted to his hour.
First French Lord Dumaine29 - 31
- That approaches apace. I would gladly have him see his
- company anatomiz’d, that he might take a measure of his own
- judgments, wherein so curiously he had set this counterfeit.
Second French Lord Dumaine32 - 33
- We will not meddle with him till he come; for his presence
- must be the whip of the other.
First French Lord Dumaine34
- In the meantime, what hear you of these wars?
Second French Lord Dumaine35
- I hear there is an overture of peace.
First French Lord Dumaine36
- Nay, I assure you a peace concluded.
Second French Lord Dumaine37 - 38
- What will Count Roussillon do then? Will he travel higher,
- or return again into France?
First French Lord Dumaine39 - 40
- I perceive by this demand, you are not altogether of his
Second French Lord Dumaine41 - 42
- Let it be forbid, sir, so should I be a great deal of his
First French Lord Dumaine43 - 48
- Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his house. Her
- pretense is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques le Grand; which
- holy undertaking with most austere sanctimony she
- accomplish’d; and there residing, the tenderness of her
- nature became as a prey to her grief; in fine, made a groan
- of her last breath, and now she sings in heaven.
Second French Lord Dumaine49
- How is this justified?
First French Lord Dumaine50 - 53
- The stronger part of it by her own letters, which makes her
- story true, even to the point of her death. Her death
- itself, which could not be her office to say is come, was
- faithfully confirm’d by the rector of the place.
Second French Lord Dumaine54
- Hath the Count all this intelligence?
First French Lord Dumaine55 - 56
- Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from point, to
- the full arming of the verity.
Second French Lord Dumaine57
- I am heartily sorry that he’ll be glad of this.
First French Lord Dumaine58
- How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses!
Second French Lord Dumaine59 - 61
- And how mightily some other times we drown our gain in
- tears! The great dignity that his valor hath here acquir’d
- for him shall at home be encount’red with a shame as ample.
First French Lord Dumaine62 - 67
- The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill
- together: our virtues would be proud, if our faults whipt
- them not, and our crimes would despair, if they were not
- cherish’d by our virtues.
- Enter a Messenger.
- How now? Where’s your master?
Messenger68 - 70
- He met the Duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath taken a
- solemn leave. His lordship will next morning for France. The
- Duke hath offer’d him letters of commendations to the King.
Second French Lord Dumaine71 - 72
- They shall be no more than needful there, if they were more
- than they can commend.
- Exit Messenger.
- Enter (Bertram) Count Roussillon.
First French Lord Dumaine75 - 76
- They cannot be too sweet for the King’s tartness. Here’s his
- lordship now. How now, my lord, is’t not after midnight?
Bertram77 - 83
- I have tonight dispatch’d sixteen businesses, a month’s
- length a-piece, by an abstract of success: I have congied
- with the Duke, done my adieu with his nearest; buried a
- wife, mourn’d for her, writ to my lady mother I am
- returning, entertain’d my convoy, and between these main
- parcels of dispatch effected many nicer needs. The last was
- the greatest, but that I have not ended yet.
Second French Lord Dumaine84 - 85
- If the business be of any difficulty, and this morning your
- departure hence, it requires haste of your lordship.
Bertram86 - 89
- I mean the business is not ended, as fearing to hear of it
- hereafter. But shall we have this dialogue between the fool
- and the soldier? Come, bring forth this counterfeit module,
- h’as deceiv’d me like a double-meaning prophesier.
Second French Lord Dumaine90 - 91
- Bring him forth, h’as sate i’ th’ stocks all night, poor
- gallant knave.
- Exeunt Soldiers.
Bertram93 - 94
- No matter, his heels have deserv’d it, in usurping his spurs
- so long. How does he carry himself?
Second French Lord Dumaine95 - 100
- I have told your lordship already: the stocks carry him. But
- to answer you as you would be understood, he weeps like a
- wench that had shed her milk. He hath confess’d himself to
- Morgan, whom he supposes to be a friar, from the time of his
- remembrance to this very instant disaster of his setting i’
- th’ stocks; and what think you he hath confess’d?
- Nothing of me, has ’a?
Second French Lord Dumaine102 - 104
- His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his face.
- If your lordship be in’t, as I believe you are, you must
- have the patience to hear it.
- Enter Soldiers and Parolles, with First Soldier as his
- A plague upon him! Muffled! He can say nothing of me.
First French Lord Dumaine108
- Hush, hush! Hoodman comes! Portotartarossa.
- He calls for the tortures. What will you say without ’em?
Parolles110 - 111
- I will confess what I know without constraint. If ye pinch
- me like a pasty, I can say no more.
- Bosko chimurcho.
First French Lord Dumaine113
- Boblibindo chicurmurco.
First Soldier114 - 115
- You are a merciful general. Our general bids you answer to
- what I shall ask you out of a note.
- And truly, as I hope to live.
First Soldier117 - 119
- “First demand of him, how many horse the Duke is strong.”
- What say you to that?
Parolles120 - 122
- Five or six thousand, but very weak and unserviceable. The
- troops are all scatter’d, and the commanders very poor
- rogues, upon my reputation and credit and as I hope to live.
- Shall I set down your answer so?
Parolles124 - 125
- Do, I’ll take the sacrament on’t, how and which way you
- All’s one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!
First French Lord Dumaine127 - 130
- Y’ are deceiv’d, my lord, this is Monsieur Parolles, the
- gallant militarist—that was his own phrase—that had the
- whole theoric of war in the knot of his scarf, and the
- practice in the chape of his dagger.
Second French Lord Dumaine131 - 133
- I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword clean,
- nor believe he can have every thing in him by wearing his
- apparel neatly.
- Well, that’s set down.
Parolles135 - 136
- “Five or six thousand horse,” I said—I will say true— “or
- thereabouts,” set down, for I’ll speak truth.
First French Lord Dumaine137
- He’s very near the truth in this.
- But I con him no thanks for’t, in the nature he delivers it.
- “Poor rogues,” I pray you say.
- Well, that’s set down.
Parolles141 - 142
- I humbly thank you, sir. A truth’s a truth, the rogues are
- marvelous poor.
First Soldier143 - 145
- “Demand of him, of what strength they are afoot.”
- What say you to that?
Parolles146 - 154
- By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present hour, I
- will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a hundred and fifty;
- Sebastian, so many; Corambus, so many; Jaques, so many;
- Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick, and Gratii, two hundred fifty
- each; mine own company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two
- hundred fifty each; so that the muster-file, rotten and
- sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand pole,
- half of the which dare not shake the snow from off their
- cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.
- What shall be done to him?
First French Lord Dumaine156 - 157
- Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my
- condition, and what credit I have with the Duke.
First Soldier158 - 165
- Well, that’s set down.
- “You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumaine be i’
- th’ camp, a Frenchman; what his reputation is with the Duke;
- what his valor, honesty, and expertness in wars; or whether
- he thinks it were not possible with well-weighing sums of
- gold to corrupt him to a revolt.”
- What say you to this? What do you know of it?
Parolles166 - 167
- I beseech you let me answer to the particular of the
- inter’gatories. Demand them singly.
- Do you know this Captain Dumaine?
Parolles169 - 171
- I know him. ’A was a botcher’s prentice in Paris, from
- whence he was whipt for getting the shrieve’s fool with
- child, a dumb innocent, that could not say him nay.
Bertram172 - 173
- Nay, by your leave, hold your hands—though I know his brains
- are forfeit to the next tile that falls.
- Well, is this captain in the Duke of Florence’s camp?
- Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.
First French Lord Dumaine176 - 177
- Nay, look not so upon me; we shall hear of your lordship
- What is his reputation with the Duke?
Parolles179 - 181
- The Duke knows him for no other but a poor officer of mine,
- and writ to me this other day to turn him out a’ th’ band. I
- think I have his letter in my pocket.
- Marry, we’ll search.
Parolles183 - 184
- In good sadness, I do not know. Either it is there, or it is
- upon a file with the Duke’s other letters in my tent.
- Here ’tis, here’s a paper. Shall I read it to you?
- I do not know if it be it or no.
- Our interpreter does it well.
First French Lord Dumaine188
First Soldier189 - 190
- “Dian, the Count’s a fool, and full of gold”—
Parolles191 - 194
- That is not the Duke’s letter, sir; that is an advertisement
- to a proper maid in Florence, one Diana, to take heed of the
- allurement of one Count Roussillon, a foolish idle boy, but
- for all that very ruttish. I pray you, sir, put it up again.
- Nay, I’ll read it first, by your favor.
Parolles196 - 199
- My meaning in’t, I protest, was very honest in the behalf of
- the maid; for I knew the young Count to be a dangerous and
- lascivious boy, who is a whale to virginity, and devours up
- all the fry it finds.
- Damnable both-sides rogue!
First Soldier201 - 211
- Reads the letter.
- “When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it;
- After he scores, he never pays the score.
- Half won is match well made; match, and well make it;
- He ne’er pays after-debts, take it before,
- And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this:
- Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss;
- For count of this, the Count’s a fool, I know it,
- Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.
- Thine, as he vow’d to thee in thine ear,
Bertram212 - 213
- He shall be whipt through the army with this rhyme in ’s
Second French Lord Dumaine214 - 215
- This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold linguist and
- the armipotent soldier.
Bertram216 - 217
- I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now he’s a
- cat to me.
First Soldier218 - 219
- I perceive, sir, by the general’s looks, we shall be fain to
- hang you.
Parolles220 - 223
- My life, sir, in any case! Not that I am afraid to die, but
- that my offenses being many, I would repent out the
- remainder of nature. Let me live, sir, in a dungeon, i’ th’
- stocks, or any where, so I may live.
First Soldier224 - 227
- We’ll see what may be done, so you confess freely; therefore
- once more to this Captain Dumaine. You have answer’d to his
- reputation with the Duke, and to his valor; what is his
Parolles228 - 237
- He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister. For rapes and
- ravishments he parallels Nessus. He professes not keeping of
- oaths; in breaking ’em he is stronger than Hercules. He will
- lie, sir, with such volubility, that you would think truth
- were a fool. Drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will be
- swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little harm, save to
- his bed-clothes about him; but they know his conditions, and
- lay him in straw. I have but little more to say, sir, of his
- honesty. He has every thing that an honest man should not
- have; what an honest man should have, he has nothing.
First French Lord Dumaine238
- I begin to love him for this.
Bertram239 - 240
- For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon him for
- me, he’s more and more a cat.
- What say you to his expertness in war?
Parolles242 - 247
- Faith, sir, h’as led the drum before the English tragedians.
- To belie him I will not, and more of his soldiership I know
- not, except in that country he had the honor to be the
- officer at a place there call’d Mile-end, to instruct for
- the doubling of files. I would do the man what honor I can,
- but of this I am not certain.
First French Lord Dumaine248 - 249
- He hath out-villain’d villainy so far, that the rarity
- redeems him.
- A pox on him, he’s a cat still.
First Soldier251 - 252
- His qualities being at this poor price, I need not to ask
- you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.
Parolles253 - 256
- Sir, for a cardecue he will sell the fee-simple of his
- salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut th’ entail from
- all remainders, and a perpetual succession for it
- What’s his brother, the other Captain Dumaine?
Second French Lord Dumaine258
- Why does he ask him of me?
- What’s he?
Parolles260 - 264
- E’en a crow a’ th’ same nest; not altogether so great as the
- first in goodness, but greater a great deal in evil. He
- excels his brother for a coward, yet his brother is reputed
- one of the best that is. In a retreat he outruns any lackey;
- marry, in coming on he has the cramp.
First Soldier265 - 266
- If your life be sav’d, will you undertake to betray the
- Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Roussillon.
- I’ll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.
Parolles269 - 273
- I’ll no more drumming, a plague of all drums! Only to seem
- to deserve well, and to beguile the supposition of that
- lascivious young boy the Count, have I run into this danger.
- Yet who would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?
First Soldier274 - 278
- There is no remedy, sir, but you must die. The general says,
- you that have so traitorously discover’d the secrets of your
- army, and made such pestiferous reports of men very nobly
- held, can serve the world for no honest use; therefore you
- must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.
- O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!
First Soldier280 - 282
- That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.
- Unblinding him.
- So, look about you. Know you any here?
- Good morrow, noble captain.
Second French Lord Dumaine284
- God bless you, Captain Parolles.
First French Lord Dumaine285
- God save you, noble captain.
Second French Lord Dumaine286 - 287
- Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafew? I am for
First French Lord Dumaine288 - 290
- Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet you writ
- to Diana in behalf of the Count Roussillon? And I were not a
- very coward, I’d compel it of you, but fare you well.
- Exeunt Bertram and Lords.
First Soldier292 - 293
- You are undone, captain, all but your scarf; that has a knot
- on’t yet.
- Who cannot be crush’d with a plot?
First Soldier295 - 298
- If you could find out a country where but women were that
- had receiv’d so much shame, you might begin an impudent
- nation. Fare ye well, sir, I am for France too. We shall
- speak of you there.
- Exit with Soldiers.
Parolles300 - 310
- Yet am I thankful. If my heart were great,
- ’Twould burst at this. Captain I’ll be no more,
- But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft
- As captain shall. Simply the thing I am
- Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,
- Let him fear this; for it will come to pass
- That every braggart shall be found an ass.
- Rust sword, cool blushes, and, Parolles, live
- Safest in shame! Being fool’d, by fool’ry thrive!
- There’s place and means for every man alive.
- I’ll after them.